AIBU to find my mum watching every nappy change a bit odd?

[Poppyseededroll]

Can someone explain to me why my mum enjoys watching my baby’s nappy being changed?

Every time I go to change baby’s nappy my mum gets up to come with me and watches. She doesn’t stand back but literally at my shoulder watching baby. I find it quite weird to be honest, surely changing nappies isn’t something fun it’s just one of those slightly manky tasks that needs to be done?

I’ve tried saying to her you don’t need to get up and she say later I want to it’s cute. Really? Am I missing something?

I really don’t know whether she doesn’t trust me and wants to check if the nappy is a month old with fronts living in it or if I am being unreasonable and watching nappy changes really is sweet.

She keeps saying she wants to come over for bath time. If I thought it was for an extra pair of hands then fine; but I find the enjoyment and interest in these tasks odd.

Who has fond memories of changing diapers, seriously?

Tell your mom to stay in the living room when you're doing diaper changes. Hanging over your shoulder to look, it sounds like she wants to find fault with what you're doing. That's the only reason I can think of.

Many years ago when I had my fistborn, my DD my Mum watched me change her terry nappy and told me not to prick her with the safety pin. As if I would. She did tell me I had done a neat job though.

This is what I think too. Your mum wants to be part of it all - helping to bring up the baby, sharing in your lives, present throughout the good bits, the bad bits, the mundane bits. Just being there really, one of the family. That’s all.
I think it’s odd that it makes you uncomfortable.
Are you implying that there is something improper in her interest in watching the nappy change? Do you have any reason to suspect this of her?
If you don’t like it you should just tell her though - or better yet ask her to help rather than just watching.

She’s just enjoying her grandchild.

next time pass her the baby to change and you go and make a cup of tea. You are your mum can get things a bit better now, you have things to chat about nowadays there’s a new baby. Chat about the baby.

give her a chance OP. I’m NC LC with all of my family so I do understand but this sounds like she actually wants to be involved.

As before OP nip this in the bud now. You are a mother. Your baby your rules. Believe in yourself, you are doing a great job and don’t need her approval! I don’t actually recall changing a nappy in front of visitors, and after all that’s what your mum is. If you don’t start a thing you don’t have it to stop is a good thing to remember! Consider your child’s dignity and privacy in this. If it’s really necessary for them to be changed while your mother is there take them to another room. Smile and do as you like.
Find other common ground with your mum too, take the lead on it. Push the pram round a Bational Trust garden or something. Might make life easier in future. Good luck.

OP has been totally consistent in not mentioning the baby's gender.

I'm curious to know why you decided she has a son.

Oh no ! I love watching my little granddaughter having her nappy changed, she loves it and is so kicky and happy without her nappy on ! I love seeing her knee dimples and her little toes ! It’s not weird, is it ?

Have you asked her if she wants a turn??

Your response to it weirds me out more than your Mum's behaviour does.

She not with you for long and will be enjoying the chance to relive the days of when she had her own baby. I totally get where she’s coming from.
She’s not watching to see the nappy change. She’s watching to see the baby who happens to be having their nappy changed. Babies lying on their back gives you a lovely view of their little faces and expressions!

Especially when they still have the newborn frog legs!

Find the nappy changing thing odd. Both my mum and MIL will tell you they've changed enough themselves between the 5 of us 😂 but the bath time thing I understand, it is lovely seeing baby splashing and playing in the bath! I would let them do that!

Why do posters say that the mother just wants to be very close to the baby when she sets contact time for 120 minutes per week. She’d be there all day on most days if that was the case. They’re not a close mother and daughter. She isn’t there all the time or asking for extra time. Her 120 minutes in a week is hardly a dedicated full on grandmother.

That. I probably watched nappy change pretty often, too. The amazing thing about grandparenting is how it takes you back to when your own kids were tiny. And something as simple as nappy change induces that warm sense of nostalgia and love.

Exactly! And it recalls the days when my own were like that

It's freaking me out a bit that anyone might read something suspect into a sweet moment.

Well she wouldn't be there every day because she's not stupid, presumably. Because what new mother wants that amount of anyone's presence? That would be an OP on AIBU.

Would you be saying this if it was OP’s Dad?

No sorry it’s weird and creepy. I can’t help but wonder what the responses would be like if this was OP’s Dad doing this….

OP said it was her Mothers choice to visit fir an hour twice a week.
My mother was with us most days, we had a very close relationship. I didn’t feel watched. I wouldn’t have liked my DM standing over my shoulder either.

@Sahara123Yes, I think so! I’d be extremely creeped out by this.

I can only guess that your Mum is so into being a grandparent that any aspect of care / their lives is fascinating to her. She will probably move on from this level of interest at some point. I really doubt there is any more to it than that, apart from reminiscing on early motherhood.

small babies are so lovely and interactive during nappy time! See if she’ll help when he’s wriggly and 10 months old trying to crawl away

I don't want to have another baby so this is not broody talk, but I miss the baby days sometimes.. Those little chubby tighs with little rolls was super cute, little feet and little toes !!

OP, I totally understand you. I had a similar situation when my child was a baby, every time the nappy needed changing my MIL would follow behind through all the rooms and then stand right in the way. I was literally stretching over diagonally hurting my back and trying to sort it out. It used to really irritate me! And made the job of cleaning the baby's bottom properly very difficult. I didn't like being watched.

If it was my mum I would assume she is watching so she can tell everyone I am doing a terrible job behind my back, but she was a bitch.

I feel like it’s sweet watching any day to day life with babies and maybe it’s sweet for her watching you do what she used to do?
buy maybe just say “mum youre being weird, stop watching me!” And hopefully she’ll give you space.