Was anyone else not ferried around as a child to various clubs?

[Imgonnaleaveyou58]

I have one sibling and we were driven to a trampolining club one evening a week by our parents, which we appreciated. These days kids seem to have eye-wateringly expensive hobbies on 4 or 5 evenings a week which they're driven all over the place for? It's important to partake in hobbies and sporting activities but I think the kids are spoilt tbh.

No kid needs to be taken to clubs every single night of the week, they're allowed to be bored/at home/entertain themselves sometimes and parents are allowed to spend money on themselves and do things for them.
I just think it's all gone mad.

Do you actually have children? I’m wondering if not and also thinking if you did you might change your mind

Why? When they're older they can drive themselves / pay for a taxi / sort out public transport / whatever. My daughter works incredibly hard at dance and it's teaching her how to push through obstacles, be part of a team, work hard, be organised and how to have an awful lot of resilience as she's failed more auditions than not. So when she's an adult she probably won't do 15 hours of dance a week (though maybe she will!) but she will know what hard work looks like and will be perfectly capable of sorting out her own schedule.

My kids know there is a limit. We have 1 car and both work full time and have pretty much reached our logistical, financial and personal capacity on their clubs. But between us we drive someone somewhere every evening (except Fridays which are sacrosanct as far as possible!) and they are very appreciative of that.

No car, no money, no clubs or activities other than Brownies, when I was a child.
That's the other extreme though and I certainly wouldn't recommend it. A couple of activities chosen by the child is a great idea but you don't need loads. Kids need down time too.

But if you have/had children, wouldn't you want more and better opportunities for them?

People who say clubs and hobbies aren't compulsory - neither is having children! If you don't want to give up your time/resources to give your children as much opportunity as you can, maybe don't have them.

I'm almost 50. I did something almost every night as an older child/ teen - orchestra, guides, school hockey, volunteering. So did my siblings. My parents always supported us by ferrying us around (or paying the bus fares).

I see my friends doing the same for their children now. Sometimes I get roped in to help if there is a clash and I welcome the time with their (sometimes) grumpy teens.... IME You find out a lot on car journeys. Lack of eye contact while talking and all that.

And I was recently pleased to discover I'm not even that embarrassing as I got asked to drive one of their friends home too.

Well that isn't true really being dropped off somewhere doesn't equate to spoiled children, indulging children and not teaching them manners and letting them act entitled spoils them, not taking them to a ballet class on a Tuesday evening.

I'm around the same age as you - as is Andy Murray, who started playing tennis at 3. Or Ed Sheeran, who sang at a local church choir at the age of four, learned how to play the guitar at age eleven and was song writing before his teens. Or Jessica Ennis-Hill, who joined an athletics club when she was 10. Or Keira Knightley, who was doing semi-professional acting and ballet by 6. Obviously most of their peers didn't go on to their level of success, but nor were they total outliers having hobbies at those ages.

There were definitely in existence 'serious' hobbies for kids, as well as a range of casual options, in the 1990s.

I got taken to tap dancing when I was 5-6, but we walked there. Later moved in with my stepfather and got two new half-siblings. They did swimming, riding and Brownies, while I did nothing - maybe I was too old to join them. I think those activities were good for their self-esteem, though; one sibling found school stressful, but she got to shine a bit at her activities.
I managed to get my own children to learn the piano and to cook when young. I think the piano helped their school music lessons, and as they were growing up they frequently found themselves the only ones capable of cooking a simple meal. It's nice to feel confident about something and have others admire your abilities..

We weren't.

My brother wanted to be an artist, it was never supported, never got the opportunity to go to art club or photography class. Is a hugely resentful adult.

My sister really wanted to try ballet. Nope.

It wasn't just the money. It was the hassle of running us around everywhere. If we went to an afterschool club that was free, we had to walk home. So we didn't go in winter because it wasn't nice walking home from school in the dark - rural unlit lanes. One of my friend's parents would give me a lift if I left at normal time.

So yeah. It didn't happen when we were a kid. Weren't things BETTER then, when children were basically an inconvenience..?

@TheRealMagic the difference is generally the family had money. Singing used to be a clear exception where poor kids could become a success, but that has become less so these days.

I think there’s no single right answer but I think it’s an interesting topic. I know some families that are paying out many hundreds of pounds per month to facilitate their children attending clubs (which have changed over the years as they have become fed up with one thing then another) but it means they are not experiencing other things as a consequence (how to be alone, how to have quieter non-sociable activities too, vacations etc.). I think opportunity is a good thing, but I’m not sure how many people think through the opposite position before they make a decision.

It depends on the child and not many do something every night of the week because homework has to be fitted in.

I had one very active dd who wanted to do a lot, but we had a school that didn’t set homework from age 7. So she did learn the piano, go to Brownies, do junior strings at the music centre and swim on a Saturday morning. Other dd did 3 lots of dance, ballet, modern and tap and Brownies. Plus swimming. So busy dc but one still sings and thst was fostered by the music centre choir she joined and other dd joined art club after school and that became something she loved and to some extent replaced dance as she got older. I like to think that me ferrying them around gave them a childhood they really enjoyed. But, as they are now 34 and 31, no computer games were in this house. They talk fondly of not having them!

At secondary DD1 in y10 had 12 activities a week but she boarded and it made her life full and complete. Dropping a couple in y11 was a wrench! Some dc just thrive on being busy and engaged.

Me - I was taken to nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nor DH. We wanted our dc to have opportunities to flourish. They really embraced what they were offered.

I am 38 and I did dance, brownies and gymnastics. I had tons of energy as a child.

My DS played football from age 4 and through the years it went from 1 or 2 nights per week to 5 plus games at weekends. It involved a lot of time, money and travel. I don't regret any of it.

I'd rather he was at his hobby than roaming the streets which given the opportunity, he would have!

My DD doesn't have any hobbies at all but thankfully doesn't roam the streets, she's quite happy to draw and her hobby is more attending music gigs

Totally agree with this, I had a very similar experience

Honestly our kids have one club each plus a guitar lesson for my dad. The youngest too young for it, but once she starts school she will also get a club. I think that’s fine - and tbh I’m not ferrying them around to loads of things when they’re older, they can catch the bus. We catch the bus/ use the subway a lot as it is because I want them to be comfortable on public transport and (imo) we have good public transport.

It's about balance for me, can manage one or two things but not a hobby every day of the week.
Swimming was the only thing I've made my child do and allowed them to drop once they got to a certain stage. One hobby they have now is also through the school in school time, so although I pay for it there's no ferrying around needed.

My kids absolutely adore playing sport and I think it’s great they are part of various teams. We do have a rule two for summer, two for winter and then swim squad and chess all year round.

They would do more if time and money allowed.

As a kid I played two instruments so lessons, band and then also drama classes and squad swimming.

Keeps them off screens, fit and active, the importance of being a team
player….. Im really not seeing the problem.

Many of these clubs are just 'to pass the time', they are basically useless, I think children are dumped there because parents don't want to deal with their children - like a reprieve for 1 hour to scroll on their phones. I think that it is only children who are likely to benefit from them are already geniuses (certainly not mine). The only club I found amazing was the Scouts, truly brilliant. The rest - horse-riding, piano, swimming, tennis - nothing to write home about. Not bad, but just mweh, that is all. Or maybe we were unlucky with the people who ran them - again, they were not bad people, but so amateurish, lack of methodology, teenage volunteers for swimming instructors, unenthusiastic piano teachers, etc. etc.

You see, I think it is not either 6+ clubs a week or screens all the time- let them have a couple of hobbies, some screen time will not kill them either! I do think there's been a lot of pressure to be 'busy', while children need downtime. My DC loves to read, write and make up their own games. We have limit of around 3 organised activities- enough to have fun and out of school friends, but also proper dinner at home and free time to noodle around. We could afford 6 a week, but why? Some of her friends are busier than a full time job!

I think this sounds busy, but fine- my DC would hate it, but she's not sporty. She has friends who are busy with sports and thriving. Also know some who are relentlessly pushed by parents to get another grade/ belt/ badge and hear parents constantly brag about it, while little dear is off their face exhausted!

My family did not have a car so no, I wasn't ferried anywhere.

I had a childhood of watching tv and staying inside after school being bored, not only did it give me myopia it also gave me a lifelong dread of being f bored and being in my parents house so I don’t visit. I drive my kids everywhere- one is a court swimmer. Another plays academy football. Another is a cellist. Who knows what I
might have been good at. Also PE in schools are literally pathetic and rarely raise the heat rate; art and music education all but disappeared- I see it as my responsibility to provide it.

I did quite a lot of activities when I was a kid...dancing, playing a musical instrument. the violin( ouch!) sporting events, orchestra. ....got ferried around a lot ....it was ok at the time,..... but the result is that I do f* all now coz I have so many memories of doing loads of things and now I just cant be bothered🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

50s here.
Didn't get driven around as a child.
Either walked or biked to friend's houses.
Music club a 15 min drive away - car shared with other parents, that was the only thing I guess.
When a aschoolfriend moved around 20 mins drive away I used to get two 20 min buses to visit her.

I sailed from my early teens. I cycled the five miles to and from the club. As I got to know people I got a lift. But I can only remember my parents giving me a lift once in a decade.