Was anyone else not ferried around as a child to various clubs?

[Imgonnaleaveyou58]

I have one sibling and we were driven to a trampolining club one evening a week by our parents, which we appreciated. These days kids seem to have eye-wateringly expensive hobbies on 4 or 5 evenings a week which they're driven all over the place for? It's important to partake in hobbies and sporting activities but I think the kids are spoilt tbh.

No kid needs to be taken to clubs every single night of the week, they're allowed to be bored/at home/entertain themselves sometimes and parents are allowed to spend money on themselves and do things for them.
I just think it's all gone mad.

My kids are teens / tweens now.

They never did many clubs. One does a free after school club and intermittently, a fitness club.

The other does the fitness club and a drama club.

Never done more than 2 clubs a week.

I wish I'd kept swimming up longer. They're both ok but not strong swimmers.

I certainly wasn't but my parents were shit. My Sunday was spent in the pub all day with a book.
I even remember I went to physio at a hospital that was 30 minutes by bus away when I was 12, mum didn't see any need for her to come along 🙄

I would take my son anywhere he wants to go but he just tends to do one activity at a time.

I rode horses and yes, back in the 80s and 90s, I was taxied around everywhere so I could ride, compete, take care of my horse. There were days when my mum was doing it early morning before work and school and then again in the evenings after work. She spent a lot of time sitting in the car reading magazines. 😂

My dc have never been booked into a million activities. They spent a lot of time bored at home playing in mud and riding bikes. Eldest did ask to start a sport at 10. She’s 13 now and trains 3 evenings a week and is competing at the national level. She also has a job and works 2 afternoons a week. All totally driven by her. She enjoys it and is very good at it and it’s related to what she’d like to do as a career one day. We’re very happy to support it. But no, she never had weeks that were swimming lessons and gymnastics and flute and rainbows. I don’t like them busy for the sake of being busy.

My 8 year old used to do Beavers/Cubs. Again because he asked. We stopped when he lost interest. He’s been asking for about a year to try a martial art, so I’ve signed him up for that one day a week. If he decides he likes it and wants to do it more, we’ll make it happen. If he doesn’t, he’ll go back to building Lego and digging in the garden after school.

We were very poor as kids and neither parent drove so we did no extra clubs. So il drain my bank account and ferry my kids round to whatever they are interested in to make sure they have those opportunities i missed out on.

No resentment at all here. My sister and me both in 60s, do 10,000 steps a day. I will text her. How many steps? she will say 12,000. Nan, nah, nah, I did 13,000. I am sure that having to walk a few miles as kids has set us up for walking later in life.

My parents prioritised owning a house. They were whacked by the interest rates of the early 1970s. We had to tighten out belts. Get up at 6am and do a paper round if we wanted extras.

Hence, we aren't so fazed by the cost of living crisis.

I did a lot of stuff growing up, but we were totally responsible for getting ourselves there and home. We walked, rode our bikes or organised lifts with friends. Netball, Basketball, Brownies, Softball and Youth group. I dont think Dad really knew where any of us were. Activities were a lot cheaper or free back then. Uniforms were always handed down. I loved the freedom this gave me. But it was a small country town. My own children , I totally had to ferry every where because we live in the suburbs of a city and I dont have that handy book with everyone's phone numbers or even really know all the other parents.
Times change.

Depends where you live. Not every family owns a car

Is it really an odd concept?

For many sports clubs the children turn into competitive players/competitors which in turn means more training hours and effort.

I have 3 girls, combined they train 33 hours a week spread accross the 7 days apart from a friday.

Do i love the constant driving, no, or the cost, no.

But what i do love is the fact my DDs are kept fit, active and healthy, they are taught resiliance, how to become part of a team, commitment, they learn to handle failure and how this is part of life and the growth that will come from it, they deal with many different people from many walks of lives, they make lots of friends in different enviroments.

And that is worth it for us.

One of my children is a dancer and has classes/team practise 5 or 6 times a week. The benefits are huge - teamwork, strength, fitness, a solid sense of belonging outside of school.

It is a lot of time, energy and money to facilitate it but we can manage it. Playing in the garden or baking at home are other things they enjoy (and they do often) but don’t benefit them in the same way.

I'm mid forties and most of the clubs I was part of were in my village so I didn't need to be driven anywhere most of the time. Occasionally there would be something a little further afield and either my mum or friends parents would drive us. Or there were Pony Club events that I would ride to and my mum would drive and meet me there!

My children have little interest in any extra curricular activities or clubs, my daughter used to go to Brownies but lost interest as she got older and then Covid hit and she never went back after. She occasionally goes to a youth club in a nearby town with one of her friends. She has piano lessons but these are at school during school hours.

My son did one after school club for a few months and hasn't wanted to do anything else since, he's happy to go to friends houses or meet them at the park but not so much into the organised activities!

I was a child in the 1960's. I went to piano lessons once a week. We didn't have a piano at home so I walked to the house of a widow who gave lessons in her front room for half a crown (about 12p in today's money). I went to Sunday School in the church hall up until I was about 10, which I also walked to and I attended the Girls Brigade which was like the Girl Guides, which again I walked to. From around the age of 10 I'd go swimming about once a month with friends and we'd catch the bus to the local baths without our parents.

I don't think, as a principal, driving your kids to activities is neccesarily harmful or spoiling them
If it causes undue financial or logisitcal hardships that aren't balanced out by the benefits of the activity, then don't do it
If its keeping your kids fit & healthy and/or socially engaged and/or off screens, and your household can manage the time & the cost, go for it

there are other benefits too, wider than just the kids - I've made great friends over the years standing at sides of pitches, organising carpools, helping out for events

In what way are you depressed by children having opportunities to learn musical instruments, sports, dance or other arts? I'm so confused by the idea that this is something sad. Yes, children 'used to' play out more (I'm in my 40s and played out but also did ballet, Brownies, karate, football, athletics, guitar, swimming, horse riding) but they can still play AND go to clubs?
Most likely there is jealousy and a class-related element of this. Perhaps having dance and musical tuition and the money required for sports (equipment, footwear, clothing) was out of reach for many and so it was seen as posh and therefore, with reverse snobbery, a bit ridiculous and unnecessary.
There are very few musicians, artists, sportspeople, dancers who WEREN'T given support and encouragement to follow their passions in their youth.

I think I was 'over clubbed' as a child, with the best intentions. On primary I did ballet, tap, Brownies, swimming and riding - I think my parents wanted to give me the opportunity they never had. I always said I wouldn't do the same, but equally I don't want my experiences to hold them back. Luckily their school does lots of clubs - DD1 does netball, choir and dance clubs at school, and DD2 dance and choir. DD1 also does scouts and is a volunteer helper at Rainbows, and DD2 Brownies and swimming outside of school, plus DD1 has been doing tutoring for the 11+ 1 night per week after school this year (so glad that's over after next week). I would never force them to do any of them, our only rule is once I have paid for a term you finish that term, and if you want to stop after that, that's fine.

We couldn't even afford a car until I was a teenager in the late 80s, so no, no ferrying around here.

We also never did clubs. We sometimes stayed later after school to play tennis with the teachers or something similar.

My sister's kids are doing something EVERY night of the week, and have done for ten years now (they're only early and mid teens now). It sounds utterly exhausting. As long as it's not hurting anyone else, I guess.

Mine did one thing each, but no more as I was working. Still a commitment for football with the matches. All young adults now so over and done with.

I don't think the world has changed that much. There are presumably still the same amount of paedophiles around as ever. I suppose traffic might be worse?

But tbh the things I most fear for children are more likely to happen in the home, on their phones/computers.

No clubs. This was 50-60 years ago. My parents had very little money and no car.

There was an Irish dancing class after school (area near Kilburn), but the person running it was discriminatory about me not being Irish, so my mum took me out of it, as she wasn't having that.

I have been doing some of the clubs now, in retirement, that I might have liked as a child.

And my kids have done LOTS of clubs!

I'm so surprised that giving children the opportunity to do sports, music, drama etc outside of school is seen as a bad thing by some.
Surely its obvious that parents want to get them off the screens and out into real life, learning to socialise, making friends, keeping fit - why is that a bad thing?
I wanted mine to have the opportunities I never had until I did things myself in later life.
Not only that but opportunities at school to do many of these things is very limited as many are under budget/staffing constraints, whatever the open evenings say. That's another reason why it's good to join clubs..to get a decent chance to participate, instead of sitting on the sidelines watching the fortunate few.

I was allowed to do ballet and swimming and brownies, but when both ballet and swimming got to a point where I was quite good and asked to go to the nearest town (rather than in my village), I wasn't supported to do that. So gave up ballet about age 9 and swimming at 12. To be honest it makes me feel a bit sad and unsupported (though i was definitely loved).

I would happily drive my ds to clubs but he's not that keen. He plays golf locally and goes to scouts again very locally and music is at school.

Hmm, I grew up in the 90s and we did lots of hobbies back then, maybe even more than my children do now!! In our house, we have one rule: swimming is non-negotiable until they’re proficient. After that, they can switch to something else if they want.
My boys have chosen football and piano, so we’re going along with those for now. My third is still too young to choose, so she only does swimming. I don’t find anything wrong with doing something that they want. The problem is when parents force their kids to do different hobbies.

No, I wasn't allowed to join "inconvenient" clubs 🤣 (also nearly 40)
I signed up to an evening football club for a term, but mum didn't want me getting the bus on my own and she didn't want to drive (bless her, she had a full time job, two sets of elderly parents, and a new baby) so it was knocked on the head swiftly.
I have a much easier set up, so I'm hoping I'll be able to indulge my daughter when she wants to try things, but I'm secretly hoping she picks things that don't require a lot of "stuff" to lug about!

That’s really sad. Being able to play an instrument is such a lovely thing to do and it’s such a shame it was denied to you because of that reason. No one would ever learn to do anything if we didn’t do them unless it was going to be a career or say an Olympian or something!

I suppose we the world has changed. Even in the 1980s I spent my childhood being taken from here to there to clubs. It’s a competitive world now. Investing in your children gets them ahead.

I wasn’t. I did Brownies once a week - it was walking distance (my parents didn’t drive so no ferrying).
I played a bit with my neighbours but not constantly - plus we lived in a close so no traffic in 1970s). I also did an activity club on a Sat pm for some of the year - same venue as Brownies.

My mum took me to museums on Sundays sometimes or we’d have family over occasionally. I do remember being bored a lot as a child as I was an only child of older parents so they didn’t really have a ‘circle’ of friends w kids my age.

From 14-16ish I went to a local youth group too. That was the making of my social life.

My DC are in their 20s and they did a combination of:
swimming (v important imho - wish my parents paid more attention to this life preserving skill)
karate (after school at school, so only picked up)
drama (weekends, they loved it, walking distance)
chess (at school after school - just playing so it was free)
guitar lessons (round the corner from us)
school rock band (at school)
football (DS at primary, DD at secondary)

They didn’t do all of this at one time and some of the activities only one child did.

At secondary they mainly got themselves home. They both did drama way in to secondary. One carried in w guitar, but the crest stopped. The one that kept in is very musical - the guitar was the start of it!!