Was anyone else not ferried around as a child to various clubs?

[Imgonnaleaveyou58]

I have one sibling and we were driven to a trampolining club one evening a week by our parents, which we appreciated. These days kids seem to have eye-wateringly expensive hobbies on 4 or 5 evenings a week which they're driven all over the place for? It's important to partake in hobbies and sporting activities but I think the kids are spoilt tbh.

No kid needs to be taken to clubs every single night of the week, they're allowed to be bored/at home/entertain themselves sometimes and parents are allowed to spend money on themselves and do things for them.
I just think it's all gone mad.

Christ, you should move round here. We've got a big grassy bit out the front of our row of houses and all we hear from the start of March till October is kids playing (although it often sounds like they're trying to murder each other!)

I can't complain, as up until about 5 years ago DD was one of them!

Kids play out where i live, we have a park near us and it was full of kids over the summer holidays.

I went to a few activities but was expected to get myself to and from them. I remembering lying to my brownies leaders that my mum was waiting outside because they wouldn’t have let me walk home on my own in the dark and that would have meant I couldn’t go. I would cycle three miles to piano lessons, a couple of miles to a church club, take a public bus home from a local city centre at 9pm at night from an orchestra age 13 (then walk from the bus stop home at the other end). I remember cycling five miles to a friend’s birthday party when I was 15 - her dad was horrified when he realised that I was cycling home alone after it at about 11pm.

No, never after I stopped doing ballet on a Saturday morning at age 6! I never got taken anywhere and didn't have any hobbies that I couldn't get to on my own. I got the bus to ice skating on a Saturday and walked to my drama club.

I did lots of hobbies but mostly got myself there and back because walking and cycling were safe and easy to do where I lived even for very young lower primary school kids. Then for hobbies out of town, we'd take a bus. I think if our parents had to drive us everywhere we wouldnt' have been able to do so many things, due to them working.

No clubs. My sister went to Brownies but I refused and I was offered ballet but again I liked the idea but was too shy. I went on regular play dates though, which my mum who didn't drive, had to collect me from. I never played out as we had no children as neighbours. I read a lot of books!

I got taken to Brownies, in the winter but cycled in the summer. It wasn’t far. Cycled to guides, horse riding lessons on a Saturday morning, cycled to swimming on Sundays. I was only ferried to Brownies in the winter because I was still very young and had to cross a main road in the dark. My dad would cycle to horse riding, to start with, he’d have a cup of tea at the nearby cafe while waiting. After I turned 10, I cycled by myself. It was only 4 or 5 miles each way. I could change an innertube.
I know there was less traffic and a different time and am now, very grateful for the independence and freedom that cycling to clubs and activities gave me.

I’m in my fifties and did activities 5 days out of 7.

My Mum grew up very poor and was keen we should have the opportunity to try things she hadn’t.

My own children had swimming lessons, plus another sport, plus music lessons, and brownies/cubs.

They dropped things and picked up things as they grew older, they both did at least one of their interests to quite a high level.

How much ferrying is required (which seems to be the bit that really annoys you) depends on where you live. Ours were able to walk to at least half of their activities and we usually organised reciprocal runs with other parents for the rest.

I played out as a child and so did my own children (again it depends on where you live)

We also did baking, gardening, art, games etc at home - they aren’t mutually exclusive.

You can make your own choices for your own children.

You can do both, my son does. He does 3-4 acitvities a week (total spends £100 - 120/ month, we are lucky) and still has plenty of time to play out unsupervised. Both things really benefit him in different ways.

I tried lots of different clubs but never stuck them out. They’d generally be weekend ones so my dad would take me (weekend dad). I tried dance once and hated it, horse riding I think twice and saw someone fall off and break her arm so didn’t return, karate once and hated it… I did stick drama out for about 2 years and loved it. I tried Brownies once during the week with a friend but I hated the constant talk of Jesus and God so didn’t return.

My DC go to one club each a week so the ferrying is 3 days a week in total.

So glad you found something you loved! And I get the mixed feelings seeing your grandchildren do this stuff... it's not easy!

I was born in 66. Grew up on council estates in east London.
We were never ferried anywhere! We took the bus or walked. And we played out around the flats we lived in. All during the holidays. The only out of school activities we did were those straight after school so we just walked home or got the bus afterwards depending on where we lived. This was completely normal for me and every other kid at my school

From age 9 if I wanted to do anything I took myself there. I cant believe how much travelling around I did, in the dark (walking and busses), at a young age. It was neglect (she was too interested in vodka, men and her pals). I loved going to clubs and scraped the momey together taking glass bottles to the shop to get the money I needes.
As a parent I wanted my kids to do at least swimming and martial arts as I seem them as essential life skills. They started gymnastics aged 2 and continued all through primary with that (evenings and/or weekends). Both play an instrument and again I see that as a valuable life skill. One loves athletics amd the other stage school. They had evening religious lessons for a while too. It did involve a lot of driving. Only music was expensive. It was maybe 6/7 hours of activites per week - so an average of an hour per day. I dont think thats excessive. The kids stopped when they chose to - werent forced to go. I wanted them to have a range of opportunities and to know they had my support. Ive had unhelpful comments from some mums (digs) and I was close to highlighting how much of their childrens free time they spent boozing and partying (according to their social media) - which was way more than I spent driving! But I didnt do that, what I do when not working is not their business and what they do is not my business.
Im not sure the point of the thread.

No clubs. Ever. No school trips (at least, not paid for ones). Family had no car so no lifts. We either bussed it or we didn't go.

Life as a working class kid in a poor family.

There was a period in the 90s where I had about 4 activities, on Saturdays I had performing arts for 3 hours and then multiple tubes and busses to get to swimming lessons.

I absolutely hated it, I never asked to do anything but my mum thought it was good to keep me busy.

The only thing I ever asked for was music lessons and I stuck at those.

I was not ferried to after school clubs / activities. One we didn't really have the money and two we lived rurally. I had to get a school bus home and there was no other public transport to get me home. I did ballet for a while on a Saturday morning and did learn to swim in a class on set evenings but that was it.

We had cubs, brownies, youth club and Sunday school. Plus any trips that they organised, also school trips. All with packed lunches and spending money saved out-of-pocket money.
This was the late 60s, the era of the family car. Few Mums could drive then, it was considered too risky. So no ferrying around.

I’m 37 and I had something on every single night.
Mondays - Art club
Tuesday - Netball & Brownies/Guides
Wednesday - Gardening club & Rehearsals for Pantomime
Thursday - I stayed late at school to finish a rag rug we were making then I’d go figure skating
Friday - Drama and Theatre club
Saturday mornings - Swimming followed by 4 hours of dance classes
Sundays - Horse-riding and then Rehearsals for pantomime

When I got to secondary I swapped Netball for a dance class, swapped gardening for singing and switched rag rugs to after school cookery classes. I still did everything else and was usually the lead in the school show every year which meant rehearsals for that on Fridays before drama club and Mondays before art classes.
I encouraged my children to do as many classes and clubs as possible; dance, theatre, singing, football, Rugby, kickboxing, am-drams, beavers/cubs/scouts, swimming and music lessons. What has stuck has been my older son does scouts, swimming and Pokemon, my younger son does rugby, swimming, singing and theatre.
My parents certainly weren’t well off, I had the classes as part of wraparound care for the children of service men/women, and things like horse riding and figure skating were done with someone’s mum who had retired from the sport and was looking to ease her own boredom, so it was cheap.
My mum had 5-6 friends who had daughters my age, in my year at school so they “divvied” up the driving; one week Mrs Y would take us to brownies and the next week it would be Mrs X. We also cycled A LOT, so once we were home from school (same car share system) we would get on our bikes and cycle to the pony shed, or the ice rink or the swimming pool.
The only thing I couldn’t cycle to was rehearsals but luckily my now-husband was already driving and I was able to bag a lift off him or other people in the group, so my mum wasn’t driving everywhere. (Couldn’t rely on my dad being home)

I'm 45 and remember doing lots of clubs - I did tennis, swimming, athletics, drama, Brownies and dancing at various points of my life, oh and a short, ill-advised stint learning the piano. I think it's normal. Childhood is a time to try loads of stuff out and find out what you like,

My parents would’ve taken me to a few clubs if I wanted to go but beyond swimming and brownies there wasn’t much choice. What they didn’t do was take me anywhere or collect me as a teenager, so I either didn’t go out or had to navigate trains on my own at 13+. That’s what I have resentment about. They certainly wouldn’t have taken me or picked me up from Reading festival at 1am. I would want my child to do a few activities if I could afford them but would certainly want them to be safe at night by ferrying them about

My mum didn’t have the money for clubs, not that there were any near me, but we can afford for our daughter to go to the clubs she likes so we do it, she’s loved Rainbows then Brownies, did swimming, now does gymnastics, cricket, band and potentially stage school if she likes it. Plus any clubs the school might do such as dance.
If she decides she no longer enjoys then we’ll stop, it’s her decision, we don’t push her into doing anything.

I was taken to one club a week as a teenager but before that nothing. Likely because of cost and the logistics of being taken there/back.

I did a fair bit as a child and was ferried about by mum who worked PT and was also self employed. I'd say we generally had a couple of activities on the go at a time plus piano and Sunday school.

My mum was a big advocate for extra curricular stuff. Unfortunately our parents chose for us and it was mostly stuff we had no interest in or aptitude for. Years of tennis coaching for example (dad was a keen player and had the idea he could turn us into Wimbledon champions but he were both rubbish and hated it). Ditto piano. I really do think kids should choose their own hobbies within reason. I was also quite a homebody and loved staying at home just reading or walking our dogs. I longed to do ballet like my friends but parents rudely told me i was too clumsy.

I did love Saturday drama club which sadly shut down after a couple of years and quite liked Guides until I outgrew it (not technically but once I was the oldest one there I felt awkward).

Once i was a bit older it was church youth clubs which I really enjoyed and i walked myself there and back. My mum was a bit disapproving as it didn't involve a sport or instrument. Since leaving home I've never picked up a tennis racket or played the piano. It just wasn't for me. I do adult ballet though - i finally started age 45!

I've tried to get a better balance for my own children. They both tended to do a couple of activities a week each but ones they had chosen themselves. At times they did three but we all felt that was a bit too much. Some kids seem to be doing something every single evening. Fair play if they love it and parents are happy to take them but it tires me out just thinking about it.

Growing up in the 70/80's, no wasn't driven as a rule.
Went to a club when I was 12 for a few years and old enough to walk or cycle there 2 nights a week. Wasn't driven to school either. Primary mum walked us until we got to 8-9 years old and after that we walked, was only a mile away. I did want to do horseriding but was told not enough money.

2 of my brothers didn't do clubs, one did the same club as I did. No musical instruments for any of us. I found out as an adult that the obligatory recorder that we all had in primary school, the one I thought I'd lost, was actually mum throwing it away on the quiet. She'd had a week of 'Three Blind Mice' and couldn't handle it anymore, ha.

The only adults I have ever encountered who are resentful about this kind of thing it's because their parents either had more children than they could afford - so a really foreseeable inability to really provide for them all - or because their was 'no money' for what they wanted as a child but plenty of money for their parents to smoke/drink/gamble etc. Sometimes both.

No one is saying that all parents should be able to afford nightly activities for their children (in either time or money) but I do think that some costs for extracurricular things is the kind of normal expenditure of having children that you should budget for - obviously then sometimes circumstances change and that can't be helped.