AIBU to think parents should lose benefits /homes for persistently antisocial children?

[Soddingcat]

This has been suggested, im not sure if it will happen , but i think this is a great idea, if the parents think they will lose their council house and benefits , they may attempt to to control their feral offspring .

My friend is in a local harriers group that starts at a local sports centre in the rough part of town, they are now having to stop their favourite route because of gangs of young teens who intimidate them , run along side them and are abusive, one delightful boy said “ lift your legs higher you c**t ,

How have we come to this ?
Do you think it will make any difference ?

I would remove child benefit from them too , maybe this will force them to parent if they risk losing money or their home

Obviously not all the parents are bad, but virtually all the awful kids round here riding motor bikes with hoods, abusing people are from the council estates near by

Im absolutely sick of it, and sick of decent people being targeted by them

What rules /sanctions would wise mumsnetters suggest ?

No because it’s likely there will be other children who could be made homeless etc. I’d move them to the middle of nowhere so there’s no neighbours for them to terrorise

These are precisely the kind of parents who get benefits thrown at them and more child benefit …and gave generations of non working people ! … feckless who dont give a crap and spend money on fags and booze. . Actually the kids need removing and putting into care. Schools need to be able to enforce discipline and standards irrespective of parents complaining

Such a discriminatory plan that specifically only targets poor people from underprivileged backgrounds. Making them homeless won’t improve the outcome for them or their children.

Say a single mum has 5 kids and the eldest is antisocial, you’d happily make her other 4 kids homeless and penniless and then expect they’d not grow up exactly the same or worse? And what about those with little shits that own their own houses? Those ones are fine are they?

It’s pain and simple - a stupid plan.

I had to double check but the Dutch once sent an anti-social family to live in a reinforced shipping container. Maybe we can just create a shipping container village in the middle of nowhere and then airdrop them food packages.

I’m only half being tongue in cheek, these people make life miserable for everyone around them, I’m not sure what kind of sanction would work. The problem with the “they just need support thing” is thats its often bullshit, as someone related to people who are anti-social and criminal (sometimes) they don’t take this shit seriously. You have to be able to punish the perpetrators without punishing everyone, some people lose control of their kids but aren’t fundamentally callous themselves. Some people are just feral tbh.

On the rich people are awful too, yes they can be and should be prosecuted when they behave that way but that doesn’t mean we should ignore anti-social behaviour inflicted on everyone from lower socio-economic groups either.

I would be fine with this if the whole family is basically unfixable just put them somewhere out of the way.

I don’t believe you. For one it’s not just posh people. It’s anyone that enjoys riding a horse that’s actually enjoying being a horse.
They get permission to go on land. The entire point of the hunt is to be actively part of the countryside , not abuse it.
And yes they use bad language but in response to any violence and aggression.

Anyhow I used to teach kids in a Fresh Start unit at college.
These are not children who have chosen to be obnoxious. Usually theres trouble at Primary school - SEN needs, poor parenting choices, rough areas with little freedom to develop normal social skills.

What works is what works everywhere- throw money in, early doors.

Short term engage them. Humour helps. Tell them to join in - feds won’t catch them if they keep training.

What about parents of anti social children who are not living in social housing, or even claiming benefits?

This thread is vile.

We had a problem with antisocial behaviour in our village related to county lines. There was a public meeting about it with the police and the local mp. and then, incredibly bravely, during the questions section, the mum of one of the feral children stood up and asked why when she asked for help a few years back there was none. And asked why when she reported her child as having left the house at night with an older boy, the police said they couldnt help bring her home as she wasn't missing and was old enough. She had been trying hard to help her dsughter behave but didnt get help when she struggled.

so maybe some of these parents are trying. This mum talked through what she had tried and where outside services might have helped.

There will be those that dont care and as adults are anti social also but not all anti social children have adults who arent trying..

🤯 There would be a lot of vulnerable, homeless and starving women, young children, and babies on the streets as a result.
The men would move on and fare better.
I really wish I hadn't opened this thread.

Don’t be ridiculous … firstly for assuming that all anti social kids are from council houses and on benefits, secondly for thinking this is a solution. How old are your kids?

My wonderful friend had a boy who went off the rails despite a loving secure background (in a privately owned house) … it nearly broke her. If she had also lost her home she prob wouldn’t be here today.

And if their parents aren't on benefits or in social housing? What a ridiculous idea.

The premise falls at the first hurdle because it assumes the kids being caught by someone in authority who does something about it. There are already legal mechanisms that exist to address this kind of behaviour but police have no time or interest, courts have no time or interest and so the kids continue and become horrible adults.

I agree, but many won’t, and will trot out the same old excuses. 🙄

Jesus Christ. I can’t decide if this is more akin to eugenics or ethnic cleansing. Nice. Those poor, poor harriers having to change their route. I wonder how many of the parents living in those horrid little council estates have the privilege of having a hobby like that? This is a new low for Mumsnet.

btw, I am as privileged and middle class as you can get with a very troubled neurodivergent kid with mental health problems who had borderline antisocial behaviour. Luckily I was able to pay my way into getting the support necessary to transform his behaviour and he is about to go to uni. Good to know I escaped the punishment I would have deserved had I been poor 🙄🙄.

Shallow and unserious “solutions” to complex problems.
We are, in lots of cases, talking about the grip that serious organised crime has on an area.
Why do you think we had 60+ year old women arrested following the crash?

If the middle classes stopped funding the drugs that are being channelled through these areas we might get somewhere.

I guess the thinking is that if their lives are being paid for by the public then if they behave badly to the public they should have it taken away. I agree to an extent.

Quite. I luckily never needed benefits, but DH and were working class ‘poor-ish’ and lived in social housing.

My two children were bought up not to be anti social - and they weren’t.

Feral uncaring parents rear feral kids - and they can be found in all social groups, and all types of housing.

But, I do agree that the parents need to be held accountable, in some way, if they don’t control their children.

Where do you propose these children live...
on the Streets?

What about the rich kids that are just as bad?

Or are we only about punishing the plebs?

You forgot to link to the daily mail article you must have read this morning OP

www.dailymail.com/news/article-16096677/Dock-benefits-parents-anti-social-youngsters-Middlesbrough.html

Absolutely not. Ridiculous and cruel idea.

I have known and worked with families who are lovely and yet have a child who is out of control, often has got into drugs quite young and they do everything they can but the support services just aren’t there eg camhs due to wait times etc so the situation escalates . They have younger dc who don’t deserve to be punished.

The system needs an overhaul. CAMHS needs urgent help to reduce waiting times, substance support services for teenagers needs to be better , community services and support need improving. Innocent parents and siblings of these teenagers do not need punishing.

It really doesn’t take longer than thirty seconds of thinking to realise why this doesn’t work…

Anti-social children cause problem. Benefits stop. Family made homeless (‘homeless’ might mean ‘on the streets’ or ‘moved somewhere else’). Family have no access to money. What do we honestly think they’re going to do now?

A much more logical solution would be a return of Sure Start centres, improved youth facilities, greater role out of HAF type projects, better school funding, etc etc.

Great point about sure start centres they were excellent

This isn't how civilised societies arrange things.

What is needed is investment in the services that protect society.

I avoid running in the evening because of teens like this. I’ve had them run after me, jump in front of me, laugh at me and shout things I can’t hear thanks to AirPods on full blast. Just can’t be bothered with the hassle so I always run in the morning.

The trouble is, they have nothing to do. Burnham was right yesterday when he said if we’re closing digital space for them we need to reopen physical space. Youth centres closed down, extracurricular clubs often cost a fortune (though I recommend cadets which is free!) and they’re simply just bored so cause a nuisance.

I’m not sure systematically starving their entire family by removing part of their income will help.