AIBU to think parents should lose benefits /homes for persistently antisocial children?

[Soddingcat]

This has been suggested, im not sure if it will happen , but i think this is a great idea, if the parents think they will lose their council house and benefits , they may attempt to to control their feral offspring .

My friend is in a local harriers group that starts at a local sports centre in the rough part of town, they are now having to stop their favourite route because of gangs of young teens who intimidate them , run along side them and are abusive, one delightful boy said “ lift your legs higher you c**t ,

How have we come to this ?
Do you think it will make any difference ?

I would remove child benefit from them too , maybe this will force them to parent if they risk losing money or their home

Obviously not all the parents are bad, but virtually all the awful kids round here riding motor bikes with hoods, abusing people are from the council estates near by

Im absolutely sick of it, and sick of decent people being targeted by them

What rules /sanctions would wise mumsnetters suggest ?

Could this partly be that in at least some poorer neighbourhoods, the most antisocial people are the ones left? That in some cases, those who can have moved away and those who are left are the ones least concerned with other people's opinions?

So how do you get parents to engage?

Genuine question, not trying to be goady.

What would get the high risk or vulnerable parents in? Something for free? Not cash I think but something.

I'm one of the "moved away" families

That pretty much sums it up

Yet when I say i now avoid living near social housing, I'm called a snob by people thst haven't lived it 😂

No from what I saw, no.

A lot of the things were so fucking pointless and lacklustre. We had someone in to run cookery classes for teen parents who was the most condescending cow I’d ever met. Completely turned off the few who came by being so judgmental and rude.

And no, the area where I was, it was all the older, better off mums who would lower themselves to drive in to the estate, and each week, at least one would make some hilarious remark about their car wheels not being there when they came out.

Some of the people who needed it were constantly spoken down to by my colleagues and health visitors. Treated like they were stupid and made to feel as if they were under scrutiny.

I’ll always remember one lovely young girl, who committed the terrible sin of opening a bottle of Fanta at a stay and play and was loudly lectured that soft drinks were not allowed as it wasn’t a good example for the children (fuck off, it’s fanta, not crack). I used to make complaints about the way my colleagues and volunteers spoke to parents.

Funnily enough, no one batted an eye lid if the wealthier mums drank a can of coke, it was only a problem when the mums from the estate did. Ditto toddlers throwing tantrums or mums having a chat instead of being glued to thier child’s side the whole time.

So you can why they didn’t bother.

I worked across 5 sites at a time. I can only say what I saw over a few years.

The middle class mums? Fine. But it was just grating when they would turn up in flash cars, or send the child with the nanny to a free class that they could more than afford to pay for elsewhere.

And when they looked down their noses at young mums from the estate (which they did), it hardly made for a nice atmosphere for the people who needed it to come to.

Thing is, I can count on one hand the number of naughty children I've taught that have come from privileged homes.

It's such a shame but as a rule those who misbehave from poorer backgrounds have not been equipped with the tools to manage life and society.

It's not all kids from council houses, probably a small percentage but they do make up the majority within schools

People who have antisocial children should pay fines. Regardless of their situation. It should be mandatory that if your child is caught doing something abusive/anti-social, you get fined. Regardless if you’re terrorising toddlers at the playpark or just yelling vile stuff. It should be an on the spot fine, to the abusive child’s parents.
If they don’t pay or whatever, it’s escalated to community service for the child and their parents. Makes sense to me, make them “pay” because ASBOS aren’t working!

I completely agree, OP, but you’ll get people along in a minute to accuse you of benefit bashing and making excuses for these feral brats and their incompetent parents.

I always wish on threads like this, that you could come and live with me for a week.

I live across the road from one of the most notorious council estates in the West Midlands. It was where the Jeremy Kyle producers used to hunt for guests back in the day (I know a few people from my children’s school who have proudly shown me videos of when they were on it!)

They love it. They love the fighting, arguing, the hanging out of windows shouting at each other.

My children go to the primary school on the estate. They went back today, walking through the estate in a cloud of weed from the other parents and the houses around.

We regularly have parents beating the shit out of each other in the playground, it’s so normal, no one bats an eyelid, the school has awful issues with the children’s behaviour becuase the parents don’t care. They egg them on because they went to that school themselves and see it as the enemy still.

They don’t want to change. And to be honest, they all seem happier than me; so where did I go wrong.

Like I said though, no one wants to hear it, but it’s true. DM and come and visit me and see for yourself.

Honestly you’re not the first person I’ve seen on here say this, what part of the country are you in? Honestly when I was 16 the centre had young mum groups and then groups for everyone but the groups for everyone were mainly attended by the same mums in the young mum group.
No one had a flash car most of us couldn’t even drive haha.

There was a separate group called hartbeeps that you had to pay to attend maybe the mums with money went to that? They certainly weren’t at the free groups at least not in large numbers at all

That’s really not what the OP is saying and I suspect you know that. Nobody is saying that only the children of those on benefits are the ones causing issues, but in the cases where they are, yes there should be harsher penalties.

The privileged kids and their parents in your example should also face consequences.

I mean I agree in theory. If you’ve brought up a teen who hangs around on the street waiting to intimidate people and say lift your leg higher cunt, then you really have done a shitty job of parenting.

Easier than taking benefits/housing would be passport confiscation. Followed by driving licence confiscation.

West London and East Berkshire. I was also sent out to different places and projects sometimes, Birmingham and East Midlands

It's one thing if parents are actually assisting their offending children, or seriously neglecting them; but what if a son is abusing his mother- a not unknown situation. Also, one child might be a criminal and their siblings fine; should everyone in the family be punished for one person's actions? And how do you take away their homes if they own their homes or are renting privately without council assistance? It just selectively punishes poorer families- and may cause or increase the problem of antisocial behaviour, as if a desperately poor family has no financial support other than, for example, the teenage son's drug dealing, they have a strong incentive to encourage or condone the criminal behaviour.

the snob-callers also the nimbys when it comes to housing migrants!

This is a great idea plus sterilize the parents

Indeed they are.

Take away the devices and give stickers, lol.

I wish children here were taught in the primary school that they have not only rights, but also responsibilities. That respect for other people, your friends, teachers, family etc. is very important to live in a cohesive society. Something that they teach i.e. in continental Europe. We have gone too much here into individual happiness and making yourself happy - the ultimate goal in your life. Which translates great into the ultra-consumerist society (to make yourself happy with 'things') and ultimately loneliness (because we cast away everybody whom we disagree with).

My body my choice! Oh unless you’re poor…

I’m sure I’ve heard of families being evicted from social housing for persistent antisocial behaviour before. I doubt it’s an easy thing to do but I’m not against it.

So who is then going to look after and financially supportsaid children ... or are they just going to be on the streets?

We would spend a small fortune taking the kids into care. Our taxes would have to rise or services cut even more.

Don't take them into care. Leave them on the streets. Let them serve as an example to others.

Can only assume this is sarcastic.

OMG yes! Good point. And perhaps these wretched children will perish and “decrease the surplus population”. What an example! This will work.

What a fascinating insight into your mind or what a beautiful ragey post.