AIBU Poor Dog walker had to witness

[Mooseylooseyloo]

I was reading an article earlier about a dog walker on Two Tree Island near Leigh on Sea in Essex who apparently came across a man naked from the waist down who then bent over and stuck a carrott up his backside.

Putting aside the obvious jokes, I actually found it very disturbing. The poor woman must have been shocked, frightened and probably quite shaken up by it, i live close by and have done this walk many times.

As a woman who often walks my dog alone, sometimes in fairly quiet or remote areas, it made me think about how vulnerable dog walkers can feel. Most of us are just trying to enjoy some fresh air and exercise our dogs, not stumble across something like that.

It also got me wondering what other strange, unsettling or downright bizarre things people have come across while out walking their dogs.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever witnessed on a dog walk

I only glanced at the reporting on this but I thought it was horrendous. Made out like it was a merry joke. My first thought was he's probably dangerous.

A colleague came across a body which fortunately after he’d kicked the blokes foot actually was still slob but very inebriated so he called ES and scarpered.

It’s so often the dog walkers that find the dead bodies!

Many years ago I encountered a naked rambler while out walking our dog along a local waterway. Our old Lab, who never took a disliking to anyone and was a gentle soul, clearly took a dislike to this guy and grumbled at him as he walked past. I was glad I had a dog with me to be honest.

Many years ago, I was walking my three Border Collies along a disused railway line.
It was a popular walk with dog walkers and there had never previously been any issues.

One of my collies was walking close to me, the other two were slightly ahead. One of the two dogs stopped and started staring at an area of thick bushes about 3 foot in height on the edge of the path. The second dog joined him and did exactly the same. By now I was asking myself what on earth they were staring at. As I caught up with them, I could see from the body language and facial expression of the first dog to stop that he was not happy at all, there was something amiss. A few seconds later I couldn't believe my eyes when a man started to crawl out on his hands and knees. He seemed very nervous. He claimed to have been looking for his hat. I didn't believe him. I said nothing to the man, called the two dogs off and we continued with our walk. Weird!

I was walking my dog in the middle of a Saturday around some woods - it’s a pretty busy spot most of the time and there were plenty of kids and families around. I went to walk in a slightly quieter spot in the same park and a butt naked man walked past me. He looked at me like I was in the wrong for encroaching on his naked hiking time and kind of huffed and covered his manhood with a shirt he had tied around his waist. But not before I got a total eye full. It was very strange and I had to check myself to make sure I was in the actual right place 😂
It didn’t feel intimidating though, just odd.

I always say say this when l go walking - that l hope l don't find a body cos it is always a walker

I recently walked past two naked men pleasuring eachother in a bush on a public walkway where lots of families walk.

Nothing stranger than men!

God forbid a man has a hobby these days.

Imagine calling 999 to report a man with a carrot up his arse.

It’s always naked men isn’t it?
What's wrong with them that they think this is ok?

Not dog walking but there was a bloke who used to leap out naked in front of horse riders then he'd disappear through a fence .
He didn't care if it was adults or children .

I found an abandoned baby alive and well. It was the most terrible shock.

My favourite was a man wearing a VR headset, very obviously off his face (mushroom season) and having a wild time shouting Wooo with his arms out like a plane. I was trying to go by unnoticed but my dogs barked at him. Fortunately he didn’t notice. He looked like he was having fun.

Poor lady.

Probably because we're the only ones insane enough to be up at stupid o'clock in the morning after the bodies have been hidden 😂

Blimey!!! Was the baby ok?

I was with my daughter walking my dogs when one of them who was slightly behind us squatted for a poo. My daughter pointed and I went to pick it up, with a poo bag in my hand. It was Autumn and there was leaves everywhere. I couldn't see it. I stood there for ages looking for it when an old man wandered over. He asked "have you lost something?" I laughed and said "only a poo" He was very obviously hard of hearing as he then said "There's a poster on the wall, with the Council's number on it - give them a call and if they find it they will post it to you" I waved the poo bag in the air and loudly said "I'm just trying to find a dog poo" He then asked me how much it cost. My daughter was giggling like crazy behind him. I was so pleased when I spotted the poo, I picked it up with the poo bag and as I walked off he said "Ah glad you found it, did it have sentimental value?"

in the main article the man was seen flapping his bits about then later he turned up in another place with the carrot.
the Malvern Hills by us seems to attract flashers. a man recently was caught waving his tackle about in a car park.
best of all there was a few years ago a lady flasher on the hills but i do not think that they ever caught her

She was well wrapped up and survived. Luckily I had my mobile phone and dialled 999. The emergency services were amazing but the mother was never found.

The OP reminded me of a Court transcript of a bestiality case that I read at law school where the witness was describing how, out walking in the early morning, he came across the defendant who was naked from the waist down and attempting sex with a duck. Counsel asks the witness "And did you say anything to the defendant?", The witness replies, "Of course I did!"; Counsel: "What did you say?"; Witness: "I said, 'Morning, George'."

Strange name for a duck.

It's not the dog walkers that find them. It's the dog.

I worry about the ones that want dogs banned from places or muzzled. For people who walk alone, having a dog to protect them can be important.

Exactly the same happened to me a couple of years ago. All he was wearing was hiking boots and a rucksack, and was carrying a pole I remember. I am no prude but was shocked - and darted off the path as he was approaching so I didn’t have to walk past him. Honesty, it pissed me off so much that he could just do that with no regard for how uncomfortable it makes people feel.

😆😆

I thought I was going to cross paths with a naked rambler in the woods one day, but as we got closer I realised it was a woman wearing a pale peach coloured playsuit. 😆

i did cross paths with a man wearing red stilettos and a very short denim dress in the same woods on a different day. I was a bit worried he’d twist his ankle tbh.

I was once looking after a friend's dog and had a bad back at the time

He was the best and softest dog ever-a total snuggle monster

I needed to walk him/walk for the sake of my back so we headed off to our local church which is set in a victorian graveyard

We walked up the path (hedges on both sides) and into the graveyard itself

He was still on the lead as I went hunting for a seat to sit on

Thank god he was as he suddenly turned into a ball of fur,spit and noise

A bloke was stood on the path walking and smirking at me

He ran off when the dog started-i think he hadn't noticed him through the very long grass

I was fuming-id innocently taken the dog for a walk and this pervert thought he'd take advantage of this

Thank god I had a bad back or I would have walked him up the hill a bit further up the road-its got a small but very quiet woodland before you come out onto the ruins of in old castle-if I'd gone in there,I honestly think I wouldn't be writing this

That dog may have saved my life-i used to walk that way a lot but won't now

Rip ziggy-you saved me that day

Another time I'd taken ds's dog (slightly bigger breed) on a walk and part of the route was down the side of the local golf course

Anyone on the course can see you/you see them but it's pretty secluded with trees and bushes either side

About halfway down,the dog started to get a bit 'odd' about a bloke just in front of us

He refused to let me walk any further so we turned back the way we'd come until we could get onto the golf course itself (where people where about) and go the long way back home (fair enough-we where not going anywhere,we'd just go where the wind took us)

I just figured something about the bloke had spooked him (he's very good at judging people)

About 10 mins after we'd got back,i heard a helicopter above our house and saw it was a police helicopter

Long story short,the bloke who'd been ahead of us had come out of the end of the path,seen a random bloke walking past and stabbed him (he was very lucky he survived) in the street

I cooked that dog a steak for his dinner while sobbing to ds on the phone about what a good dog he has

I think he saved my life that day-all the bloke had to do was turn around-we where right behind him

But the worst thing that dogs ever found is a collection of golf balls-he hands them over with pride,gets his fuss and praise then heads off for more!