Would you let a 12 year old and 5 year old go to the playground together?

[NotmyrealNC]

NC in case I get called a terrible parent!

Both are very sensible, playground is 5 minutes from our house and 12 year old has a phone. I'll be WFH.

Last day of the summer holidays and wondering if this is okay? My brothers and I were certainly off all over the place at these ages in the 90s!

How big is the park? Sorry if I have missed that detail.
I think my worry would be if the 12 year old found some friends and got distracted.
I am guessing they are meant to be babysitting their younger sibling, but even a 'good' child might want to fit in with friends and if they started showing them something on their phone for example the 5 year old might not be supervised (and depending on the park size get lost/hurt/wander off).

"But when ds was 5, I don’t think he could have figured out that if dd was hurt he needed to walk home or use her phone to call me."

@OfficiallyOnVacation Why would he need to figure it out? Surely you teach your children what to do in an emergency?

No, sadly not in this day and age.

Year 6? Isn't that the last year before high school so kids will be 10/11? From what I've seen on here, people do seem to be more cautious about letting children out alone in England than they are here in Scotland but I didn't realise it was so different. My kids' school allows children to walk home alone from the start of P4 when they are 7 or 8.

Yes, depending on the children. I’ve just read The Anxious Generation and one of the things that the kids in there said made them feel needed and a contributor to the home and family was being able to look after her sister for short stints before school.

It’s actually a really interesting book about how important it is for kids to have time away from adults in order to become resilient, well rounded and mentally well. After reading that, I’d be actively encouraging it. I’m in my mid 30s and did similar with my cousin who was about 3 or 4 and it’s one of my very few memories from being a kid!

Yes age 10-11

My 12yo DD is the youngest in the family so this is hypothetical, but if she had a 5yo sibling and they usually got on well, then I would allow this if she wanted to. Rural low crime area.

I don't think so. I remember what my own son was like at five....he was hyperactive and needed watching like a hawk.
That's a job for a parent not a 12 year old.

Agreed. My Dad wanted to take my DC out when my youngest was 5. His plan would have involved a 30 minute walk each way to the activity and I simply didn't trust my youngest to behave with him.

Not all 5 year olds are like that though. Neither of my kids were like that at 5. They would have been fine with a responsible 12 year old. OP has already said that both her children are sensible. She probably knows them better than you do.

DSD is 9 years (ish) older than DS. DS is currently 4 and DSD is 13. We let them go to the park together regularly. The park is in a field not too far from our house. No roads to cross etc. DSD has a phone. I’ve also left them alone at home for an hour or so. Albeit this is a relatively new thing. DSD is sensible. Our neighbours are also about. Family close by in the town etc. we were left home alone much younger and for much longer in the 90s.

If the 5 year old is sensible and plays in a fairly gentle way, yes. If they’re a runner or one that does risky play and climbing, I wouldn’t want a 12 year old to feel responsible for them. Also obviously depends on the 12 year old being trustworthy.

Would also depend if the 12 year old was enthusiastic about it. I wouldn’t want them to do it if they felt it was too much pressure.

I’d also only do it if the 12 year old had a phone. I wouldn’t want them to need to leave the 5 year old if something happened.

Obviously she knows her own children better than I do....so that's a ridiculous statement.
However her question was Would you let a 12 year old and 5 year old go to the playground together , I gave her my answer.

Yes absolutely.

I would. When my DD was 12 she took her brother who was 2 to the park. TBF at that stage he still wasn't really walking so he wasn't likely to run off but she wanted to take him and I didn't see a problem.
I'm probably a terrible mum though, I always feel I must be after reading stuff on here.

I just think it's strange to base your answer on the behaviour of one specific hyperactive 5 year old instead of on average 5 year old behaviour, especially as OP had described both children as "very sensible".

If the 12 year old is sensible and the 5 year old is likely to listen to them, then absolutely, as long as the 12 year old was willing to babysit.

You think it's strange that I answered the OP's question?
OK.😅

I would, but then I was allowed a lot of freedom as a kid.

For me if younger child was 5 nearly 6 and the park is unlikely to have many others there Id be ok with it. The issue would be if it attracted teens who could cause issues.

Yes. I would, as long as the 12 year old was the sensible type.

No, because 12 years old is in position of responsibility and if anything happens with 5 years old, 12 years old might feel guilty.
By anything I mean I little bump/graze/scratch that normally happens during play, other child in the playground throwing sand in your child's hair or eyes, slip on grass leading to sprained ankle.
Also adults in the playground might 'interogate' your children and make them feel uncomfortable.
I personally don't find this situation dangerous, more like potentially stressful.
I assume that you are in community where 12 and 5 years old out together is unusual.
What people did 30 years ago doesn't matter.

I have let my 12 year old take her 5 year old cousin to the park. With her 8 year old brother and cousin. The park is very close you can almost see it from our house. Lots of kids play out round us from quite a young age. And I have tried to take some lessons from some stats I saw about the distance children were allowed to roam in the past compared to now and at what ages - we limit them an awful lot now compared to even 30 years ago never mind 100. The anxious generation has some interesting stats about real world harms vs online harms which struck a chord with me about trying to let them have more physical independence. My 12 year old wanted to take her and understood her responsibilities. I wouldn’t allow it with a child I don’t know very well.

No

I’m not saying they should be expected to. But they should certainly be capable of it, and allowed to do it if both kids want to.