Would you let a 12 year old and 5 year old go to the playground together?

[NotmyrealNC]

NC in case I get called a terrible parent!

Both are very sensible, playground is 5 minutes from our house and 12 year old has a phone. I'll be WFH.

Last day of the summer holidays and wondering if this is okay? My brothers and I were certainly off all over the place at these ages in the 90s!

My 12 year old takes siblings 9 and 6 to the park. It’s usually instigated by 12 year old And 9 times out of 10 she goes with her friend who takes her siblings 7 and 5 to the park. Both have phones and the park isn’t that far.

I draw the line though when she asks to take them to town.
12 year old also likes to take my 1 year old for a walk around the block in his pram every now and then. That one she asks the most to do.

that being said my 18 year old would never of been allowed to at 12. Her maturity level is completely different.

Nope. I would leave a 12 yo in charge of a 5yo at home for instance, but not away from the house.
They're both a bit too young IMO, if one of them was a couple of years older it would be fine.

Yeah but you said UK which is why I was surprised you thought it wasn't common. So no transport and kids aren't allowed to walk themselves until high school? Sorry I know I'm derailing the thread here, I'm just interested. Guess I assumed councils had similar policies for schools UK wide.

I posted the email maybe you missed it, very common in my area.

But come on now, how likely is a tween child going to have such a serious accident in a playground that he can't make a phone call?

This is what I mean about balancing likelihood and severity.

Op works from home. If the kids are stuck inside every single afternoon they will 50-90% likely become fairly screen dependent and anxious.

If they go out, then maybe 0.0000whatever% chance they'll be abducted or stabbed.

Edit - my local estate has a playground that is frequented by an ice cream van but i accept that isn't common

I haven't read any more of the thread, replying to your quoted posts through my email app. I wasn't saying it's not common in England, I'd just not heard of it so was curious how it worked.

You know your kids and your area. They have a phone, but think about the "what ifs" and make sure they're prepared for anything.

When I was about 15 and my brother about 7, I took him to the park. He asked for an ice-cream, and I said no - I literally didn't have the money on me, so there was no room for debate. He threw a tantrum, sat down and refused to budge. No mobile phones back then to call home - eventually I decided the least bad option was to walk to the side of the park where there was a phone box near the gate, although that was several hundred metres away, so I would be leaving him well out of my sight. I was so relieved that he came to his senses before I got very far.

Obviously a phone would have solved that one, but if the phone is smashed, or the younger one starts to do something imminently dangerous, or gets hurt, or there are youngsters causing trouble at the park, or...

Yes I would, I have a similar age age gap with my eldest and youngest and a very close by park and I have alllwed this in the past.

Not thinking about the tween child being so seriously hurt they can't make a phone call for help. Wondering who looks after the 5 year while the help arrives.

my DS had an accident at age 12. he fell off a low wall he'd decided to walk along and badly gashed his leg to the point he was in severe pain and didn't want to walk on it. I actually suspect the inclination of a 5 year old witnessing this sitation might be to run home and get mum, which is hopefully ok, but as I said, up to the OP to judge based on local knowledge.

No It is too much responsibility for a twelve year old. Walking home but not to play outside. Some adults take their eyes off their children for a few seconds and something serious happens.

Yes, I would if they were both my children. Does 12 year old have access to a mobile in case of emergency? Is 12 year old usually responsible? If so, I see no problem.

We would, it would be very unusual for a parent to be supervising if there was an older sibling at the park.

No. I had this gap between two of mine and wouldn't have done it, despite my older child being sensible. For one thing, my younger child knew they were only big sister and I wouldn't guarantee they'd do as they were told. For another, accidents happen and its too much responsibility for a 12 year old.

Even kids that live on the same street as the school aren't allowed to leave alone until year 5 here! And no siblings of school age can collect.
(I do think thats a bit OTT!)

I personally wouldn't, I dont even let my 9 year old and 11 year old go to our local park. There's so many horrible kids around these days I wouldn't want to risk it

Probably but it really depends on the 12 year old, some are super sensible others easily led. My dc took their younger cousin who was only a toddler as a 12/13 year old

I let my dd take ds to the park when she was 14 and ds was 6. The park is diagonally opposite my house and at that stage, ds could have used DD’s phone to call me or he could have safely crossed the road and walked the 1 minute home on his own if he had to.

But when ds was 5, I don’t think he could have figured out that if dd was hurt he needed to walk home or use her phone to call me.

Also I considered if ds got hurt, how guilty dd would feel even though it was my responsibility.

On the whole my ds is far more independent than many kids his age and has quite a lot of common sense. But he is also still only young and prone to doing random and unpredictable silly things.

No I wouldn't. DS1 (10) is desperate to be able to take DS2 (6) to the playground by himself. He's allowed to go by himself but not to take DS2 without me.

I've said potentially when they are 12 and 8. They'd be fine at the park (busy park with a cafe) but there's a busy road to cross to get there.

Yes.

I think my 5yo would run home for help in this situation, or very possibly run to the friend's house which is very near by the park. I would not be keen on that where we live now (they would need to cross tram tracks) but in our old house, where it was a very quiet residential cul de sac, I wouldn't mind. In fact for that park, I'd probably let 8 & 5yo go alone.

But if he's there with you, you could get hurt too?

Presumably the parent is less likely to swing from play equipment than a 13 year old, and obviously has a more developed brain so can risk assess better. Adults and young teens are different

I used to take my toddler cousins to the park at that age. I would expect they will be fine, especially with a phone to call you if there is a problem

So the 12 year old is already trusted to walk the younger one home from school and you leave them home alone together.
I'm not sure why the park is any more dangerous than what they do already

Strict instructions on behaviour, what time to return and what is expected in an emergency.

As long as the 12 year old is comfortable I see no issue based on my own kids and your replies.

Oooh I seem to have caused quite a debate!

I would just like to point out that having them both at home with me while I work is a one off end of the hols/inset day/lack of childcare situation - they haven't been stuck indoors for the full 6 weeks!