Would you let a 12 year old and 5 year old go to the playground together?

[NotmyrealNC]

NC in case I get called a terrible parent!

Both are very sensible, playground is 5 minutes from our house and 12 year old has a phone. I'll be WFH.

Last day of the summer holidays and wondering if this is okay? My brothers and I were certainly off all over the place at these ages in the 90s!

I think I'm leaning more towards yes given the answers so far!

Some more context - they are siblings and the 12 year old is very used to being out and about by herself. She's been walking to school alone since year 5 (about to go into year 8) and often goes around town/to the park/McDonald's etc with friends. Where we live is very safe and family friendly. I also sometimes leave her and the 5 year old home alone for 10/15 minutes while I pick up their younger sibling from nursery and they've always been fine.

My main concern is that the park has some rope swings but I'd give them strict instructions not to play on those.

My aunt was taken from a park when she was about 4 when being supervised by an older sibling.

Thankfully the lady who took her was experiencing mental health issues following the death of her child and took my aunt to the police station shortly after.

The older sibling has never been able to forget what nearly happened on ‘their watch’. It is entirely unfair to put that responsibility on a child.

The ‘bad thing’ is very unlikely but I would not take that risk.

I don't see why not. You've said they are sensible and it's a safe area. As long as the 12 year old is happy to keep an eye on the 5 year old and the 5 year old knows the 12 year old is in charge then I don't see an issue. You're a phone call and five minutes away. It's fine.

I think it's absolutely fine.

Depends on the children. Dd1 and ds would have been fine. They certainly walked up to the shops together a couple of times. I didn't let dd2 and ds together when they were 12 and 9 because they were far more likely to do something silly.

Yes, of course I would

I think it's broadly fine,but of course it depends on your DC. My 7 year old would have been fine at 5 with a 12 year old. My 6 year old I wouldn't trust even now, I don't think. He's not great at listening.

A pp has shared a story of a child being abducted from a playground - that is awful but thankfully very rare.

As parents we have to balance likelihood and severity all the time.

Your child getting abducted - maximum severity of awfulness, but thankfully very rare. The potential risk can be mitigated a little by the older child ringing for help with the phone.

Your child being cooped up at home too much leading to MH issues, screen addiction, perhaps bad physical health from lack of movement. Low-medium severity but actually quite high likelihood.

Children play out a lot less these days, partly because of our perception of risk. Is it worth it? We all need to balance our risks the way we see best.

No.
Too much responsibility for the older one

It shouldn't be expected and if the 12 year old didn't want to do it then I'd say no. But if she's happy to do it then I don't see a problem.

Why not?

Crazy responses. We live in Germany in a smallish village. Kinds go alone to school from 6 and I let my 8 and 5 year old out together into the woods close by or the skatepart down the road. As does everyone else.

It sounded like the OP expected it in this situation because she mentioned she was WFH. I would imagine she's not able to work with the younger children at home so the 12 year old taking the 5 year old out would be for her benefit, not because they've asked to take their sibling to the park. Apologies if I am mistaken but that's how I read it.

Where are you? Just out of curiosity, I've never heard of this before. Mine always got school bus so wouldn't have affected us anyway.

The only 5 year old looking children out without an adult locally are from the rough houses so I guess if that fits.

and school certainly wouldn’t let a under 16 year old pick up a primary aged child. Age 10 up they can walk alone but not collect a sibling.

No

You’ve never heard of schools setting rules to when children can walk alone? Really? It’s pretty common

Oh dear, did you mean to sound so awful...

Area wouldnt be safe

Factual comment from the local area. If the shoes fits it fits I guess.

A 5 year old is a huge responsibility for anyone, let alone a 12 year old. We go to the park often with my two kids (my eldest is almost 12) and my much younger nephew who is 5, and I wouldn't dream of leaving her alone to deal with him! They can be reckless, unpredictable and impossible to reason with at that age. My 11 year old and 9 year old go to the park and out and about unsupervised together and with their friends, but they're of a similar maturity level and neither one is ever responsible for the other. Obviously they look out for eachother and would never just leave the other if in trouble, but I'd never expect my eldest to be in charge of her younger sisters behaviour.

No. 12 year old is too young to be in charge.

Absolutely yes as long as the 12 year old is happy to watch the 5 year old and knows to come back straight away/call you if any issues.
When I was a toddler my parents took me abroad and also brought my 13 year old cousin to babysit me, while they went out, with no mobile phones (90s) in a foreign country!! Obviously I'm not saying that's ok but comparably going for a quick park trip is no issue in my eyes.

Not a chance

No.