To increase this clients charge ?

[Boomboomi]

I have a very awkward situation . I am a cleaner and I took on a lady a year ago who had a difficult situation.
I also look after her cat when I am when she is away and there is an agreement that I care for the cat as she knows me

At the time for my own reasons and her then limited financial situation - single parent , I agreed to work for her add hoc for way below my charge.

We have become friendly.

With the cost of living and I said that I would need to nominally put my price sessions up , but that they would still remain below the going rate , v significantly

This appeared to have caused upset on a personal level for which I am sorry
She has said things like ‘ I thought we were friends, and that she struggles with money Although I know that she works hard she does not have what I would see as a frugal lifestyle as she does go out for meals , has nails done regularly, etc.

I think that I have ‘ offended’ her and she has indicated that I am less of a friend but being transactional.

I absolutely see that lines between business and friendship have been blurred .I have tried to say that my need to increase the charge slightly in no way means that I care less for her or her pet - the latter being the crux of the matter as I have agreed to care for him in her will .

was i bu? And any advice?
My plan is to keep repeating that I genuinely care for her pet but also need to earn .
( Every session I do means that i get paid less than my normal wage - this will continue with the increase- but I would just earn a little more to make it more manageable).

As a professional you do not have to put up with abuse from clients. If a client of mine insulted me I would get rid of them. There is no 'keep if professional' after this. You don't have to get into emotionally with her (and I definitely wouldn't!), but that doesn't mean you have to keep her as a client either.

It's not worth the upset.

Do you still consider her to be a friend even after starting this thread and receiving loads of replies saying that she is clearly a manipulative user who is taking advantage of you?

My take on the situation is that she is a bad client and an even worse friend.

She's no friend. Step away.

I mean this kindly OP, but please give your head a shake.

NO ONE who had an ounce of respect for you or considered you an equal friend, would be texting you such nasty, belittling bullshit.

She thinks you are a jumped up cleaner who has dared to think you should be paid fairly.

Your purpose is to be useful and used.
She has zero respect for you and you really are deluded if you think you are.

Listen to everyone, including your friends.
We can see how little she regards you.

Those texts are disgraceful.

Don't sacrifice your self esteem and respect for such a user.

I'd be making little digs
'Your nails look lovely! How much were they?' then answer Oh, I couldn't afford those with what I earn.
and then Oh how lucky you are to be able to go out to eat....I struggle for a week's groceries.
and then later, Sometimes, the people you thought were friends you find don't value you at all and are ready to stitch you up and short change you... it's so sad.......
Then after guilt tripping her, just say you feel bad she would have to go without to pay your new rates, so in order to help her out, you're going to stop cleaning for her to save her money... did she's not to feel bad as you can make up the difference from your other clients....but don't worry you'll always help look after her gorgeous cat.... in a warm and innocent way...😊

It is not being mean to charge your usual rate, nor does it mean you are not their family/friend. If she felt that way about you she wouldn't allow it - I have many times employed my brother to do some work for us, he's brilliant at what he does and I would rather pay him than anyone else. However I am not having him losing out financially by working for me! I insist on him charging us properly.

What, so act like a passive aggressive childish twat even though OP is entirely justified and plain speaking will suffice?

Nah.

She expects you to manage on less money, although she herself cannot?
Seriously my dear, please toughen up, for your own sake.
And friends do not hold to ransom 'I gave you the cleaning job when you were starting out etc. etc.' BS she was getting a lower rate!

She is guilt tripping you - and succeeding!!!

You are running a business- stop feeling ashamed or embarrassed about it. She’s taking the proverbial. I would end this right now and give her both barrels to be honest. She would have had a very frank retort from me about not appreciating being guilt tripped with talk of poverty by someone who gets her nails done and goes on holiday. She is trying it on big style - surely you can see that?

She will no doubt have to rethink her views if she has to pay someone else - don’t forget that.

I think you need to say a fond farewell to the cat and move on.

I like this!
But maybe more gently, you could, when you talk to her, note these things.
After all, you could equally roll out the guilt: she's choosing nails over your livelihood, she's making this transactional, she's asking you to choose her friendship over your income which you would never ask a friend to do, she goes away and she eats out while you can't and when you need this slight increase she can't prioritise you.
You wouldn't guilt a friend like that.
Neither should she.
She's firmly in the wrong here op
I'd figure out what you actually want (I would not want to continue at the low rate even with a slight increase). Might be best to say yes, let's not mix friendship and business because one person working for the other is inherently transactional, always will be, and isn't working, so let's just be friends, how about coffee on x day?

Hi Barbara,
Looking forward to a face to face catch up when you’re back, think it will be much easier for both of us to talk things through.
In advance of that, it would be good if we could both think about how we are going to move forward happily - your friendship is important to me, as is your cat!
Just to be clear - I believe that the best option for both of us at this stage is that I stop working for you. I have accepted a much lower rate of pay for some time now, and I’m not able to offer this any more. Bills need paying and I am going to look for more hours at my going rate.
I also feel that working for you complicates our friendship more than necessary; I would not for example take on a friend as a paying client as I like to keep my work and social lives separate. In light of this, I would like to stop working for you and preserve our friendship.
I will of course honour all arrangements made about the cat; I’d be delighted to care for it should that ever be required.
Let me know when you are free for a chat/catch up/coffee and we can discuss it all then. Love Boomi x

I dont normally comment but your post hit me.
This is where you say, even if we're being friendly. This is also my livelihood so as a friend think of my situation and be considerate to me as I am to you. If she don't see your side of the story, that person is all me me me.
BOUNCE

I get the feeling that, if you were to say mixing business and friendship isn't working for you so you're not going to keep her as a client so that your friendship doesn't become transactional, and mean it, she would drop you before you could blink.

First post is correct. You need to terminate everything to do with this piss taking freeloader who is most certainly not your friend.

Services like yours are in high demand.

There is nothing to discuss. She has no respect for you, your time/effort/your finances. IMO you need to completely detach. The fact that you are attached to her pet is unfortunate, but you will be able to move on.

What an absolute bellended idiot this woman is. She has someone who genuinely loves her pet to look after him whilst she’s away. Giving top quality care. And she treats you like shit on her shoe. You can’t get through to people like that.

It’s only awkward because she’s manipulated you into feeling that way. You can terminate everything with one message and the job is done.

Stop doing her cleaning. It's the only way out of this. Paying somebody when your friends all too often runs into difficulties.

I don't think you are really friends- she is taking advantage of you , if she can afford to eat out regularly and have her nails done she can afford going rate- end of story.
She is trying to make it an emotional issue- she just doesn't want to pay full price and she is willing to destroy you friendship and your peace of mind to fascilitate that.
Your'e only failing is failing to see she is a user and have allowed her to blur the personal and professional in order to save herself money.
I would step away completely-from the pet as well, but if you don't feel you can do that tell her she has to pay the going rate because you are running a business and it has nothing to do with money- if she can't afford it then clean less often, that is what normal people (who are not emotional manipulators) do if they can't afford a cleaner every wek- they have one less often, or not at all.

She seems to have blurred the lines between friendship and employment.
I think you need to explain that whilst your friendship comes free, your cleaning services don’t. And if she wants you to clean for her she has to pay what you can manage with.
But the friendship is non charging and you are happy to hang out with her on your time for free?

Put the prices up to the normal rate, if she complains to her friends what is she going to say - that you’re charging her the going rate? They pay that already, and they are obviously happy with it.

I voted YANBU because I understand what youre asking. However I think youre being unfair to yourself. Shes immediately said, she is hurt youd make this transactional by needing to charge more but shes making this transactional by devaluing the work you do for her.

I think before you got close giving her such a discount was generous but daft. And tbh her saying you arent worth what you charge and shes worth free services is entitled, selfish and suggests you arent as close as you think you if your worth to her is tied to her ability to take advantage of you.

Id lay it out, you were generous when you could be because youre kind. But moneys now an issue for you and she can pay your worth or if she cant afford it you will cease being her cleaner and take work where you can be paid, but youre happy to be her friend and even help with the cat. Or id sack her off because her financial troubles shouldnt become your troubles

She is manipulating you. I’d walk away.

She's really manipulative. A true friend would not expect you to continue to work for way under the going rate with the CoL constantly on the rise.

I'd just step away and get a new client at a proper rate. Keep things professional with new clients, and tell the woman that it's best not to mix business and pleasure, as you had no intention of upsetting her.

A close friend of mine expected me to do some work for her at short notice for no pay at all. She is extremely rich - a multimillionaire. She was so offended that I didn't drop all my clients and immediately devot two unpaid weeks to her project (for which she was being paid high six figures herself. Eventually I did a rush job spending hours after work every night. She gave me some boxes of pencils and a jigsaw that had obviously been given to her as unwanted gifts by way of thanks. I still see her. We are still friends, but my opinion of her changed, and I suspect her opinion of me did too, as my rush job was nowhere near the professional standards she anticipated. She had no idea how rude her expectation was.

OP you have to live, earn a living and you have your own bills to pay.
Despite your close friendship, you need to see this as your livelihood and your business.
She is penalising you - for her own benefit.
Honestly she should feel ashamed of herself.
she is selfishly turning this on herself, rather than thinking about you.

(I had a wealthy client who told me “I would need to rethink my dog care rates” (downwards!)
I just flatly replied that after tax, insurance, national insurance and overheads I was already charging the minimum - and anything less meant it would be unviable.

Please say to your lady that you love her pet and of course you will look after it, but your cleaning business has to be viable as it’s your livelihood.
Leave that hanging, as a statement. You don’t need to justify further. Let her think on it.