To increase this clients charge ?

[Boomboomi]

I have a very awkward situation . I am a cleaner and I took on a lady a year ago who had a difficult situation.
I also look after her cat when I am when she is away and there is an agreement that I care for the cat as she knows me

At the time for my own reasons and her then limited financial situation - single parent , I agreed to work for her add hoc for way below my charge.

We have become friendly.

With the cost of living and I said that I would need to nominally put my price sessions up , but that they would still remain below the going rate , v significantly

This appeared to have caused upset on a personal level for which I am sorry
She has said things like ‘ I thought we were friends, and that she struggles with money Although I know that she works hard she does not have what I would see as a frugal lifestyle as she does go out for meals , has nails done regularly, etc.

I think that I have ‘ offended’ her and she has indicated that I am less of a friend but being transactional.

I absolutely see that lines between business and friendship have been blurred .I have tried to say that my need to increase the charge slightly in no way means that I care less for her or her pet - the latter being the crux of the matter as I have agreed to care for him in her will .

was i bu? And any advice?
My plan is to keep repeating that I genuinely care for her pet but also need to earn .
( Every session I do means that i get paid less than my normal wage - this will continue with the increase- but I would just earn a little more to make it more manageable).

Thank you all for your perspective s.
This totally surprised me and I feel awful.
She indicated she had been crying.
I am sometimes poor at texts and so I said that and sent her another acknowledging that and sending a further , very clear text, reassuring of my friendship.
This is not acknowledged as she needs to chill on her holiday and not feel upset .
I feel like I have tried to calm the waters. But- dread going forward .

She can get a cat sitter online in 5 mins. Shes using you for discounted domestic help. You need to step back.

If you are a self-employed business owner, you need to toughen up. You need to be able to handle difficult conversations with clients.

Never confuse friendship with business.
As others have said, drop her as a client, keep the friendship if you want to, but if this woman really is a "friend" then why are you dreading a difficult face-to-face conversation? That is not how a friend should make you feel.
And if she is not really a friend, just an overly-friendly client, then you need to put your hard business hat on and have that conversation.

I'm also self employed and do at times offer a lower rate. Mostly, I don't raise my rate from my starting rate BUT that is because there is always an end point to my work (around 2 years) so I just raise the rate for new clients.

However, if I were taking on a job for a long term role, I would absolutely raise my price at times, and have done in the past.

I would ask yourself if she genuinely IS a friend. Do you go out for coffee together? Do you socialise outside of your cleaning/cat sitting times together? Do you text/message about things other than cleaning/the cat?

If the answer to those things is no, then you aren't her friend. And as much as you love her cat, you don't need to work for her for an unreasonable rate.

When I've had unreasonable clients before, I've had to explain to them that what I earn from them is my income. It keeps the roof over MY head. And honestly, a cleaner isn't an essential. If she can't afford 4 hours a week with the £5 an hour raise, maybe she should cut down to 3 hours (or however much she has/can afford).

She sounds petulant and spoiled to me.

To be fair - forgot this bit - she often buys me a drink when we are out to say thank you for all I do for her pet. And sometimes gifts .

If she was REALLY a good person and a good friend, she would have proactively opened a conversation about pricing at some point in the last few years given all the talk about the cost of living crisis, as she would have been concerned she wasnt paying you fairly! This reaction is because she was well aware she was getting a deal and was pleased she was still getting away with it.

I think you should remind her that you have to keep a roof over your head too, and that while you happily pet sit for free you can’t do everything for free. Tell her you can afford to do her house for less than other people are paying, which is the new price youve stated out of loyalty/friendship, but you can’t afford to keep it at the original price. I’d say that you value the friendship, but if things like this are going to happen, where the friendship is being affected perhaps it is better that she finds someone else to clean and you just become a friend only who will pet sit for you.

I don't have a cleaner as I can't afford one. Your friend is being utterly ridiculous claiming that your minor increase will see her going homeless. She might just have to clean her own house like the majority of people do, if she's a bit skint.

I'd tell her you can't clean for her any more but you'd like to stay friends. No offence OP but I bet you won't see her for dust.

Drinks and gifts don't pay the bills. I get paid my normal full rate from my clients - and some of my regulars give me Christmas gifts and cash on top.

I'd stop texting. She can afford a holiday but can't afford a fiver a week more...?

A real friend would champion you and not try to exploit you. I am in a business where I provide a service and my real friends would not try to get that service cheaper. They would be more than happy to pay
me and knowing that they were receiving a professional treatment from a friend (beauty) if they felt uncomfortable coming to me (price etc) they would go elsewhere no issues. She is not a friend - she is a freeloader. You got all your other clients, she is not your saviour and you are making money as you are good at what you do. Charge her full price or a slight reduction if you can cover with other jobs

edit: she is not nice so I would recommend you stop working for her and move on. I would say end the friendship but I don’t think it is a friendship

Have just read the whole thread.
Thank you all .
I feel that I am not so BU now and also that I am dealing with with an emotional based situation.
I do find it hard to understand why she can have nails done etc but not pay me more - I guess she assumed the arrangement would stay the same .
She works very hard , treats herself a lot in my view , but those are her priorities and we are all different so I get that.

She is taking the piss, and being manipulative saying she has been crying. End the cleaning relationship, tell her you can no longer afford to work for the money she pays. A true friend wouldn’t take advantage of you.

Bless you.

I don't have loads of money and I'm having some work done on my house (it's essential and for safety reasons not decorative or making it any bigger) and I would never ask or expect the labourers to take less pay. When decisions need to be made they give me the options so I can make the right choice with my budget in mind and have throughout been great at finding the cheapest but safest way to do things.

Real friends don't take advantage of each other. She is a client who you became friendly with. If she's behaving this way towards you while still affording to go out for meals, she is absolutely taking the piss and you need to end this client relationship or she needs to pay the full price.

It was very kind of you to help her when she needed it but you are not a charity, this is your livelihood and I think she's taking advantage of your good nature and generosity. Her reaction should have been "thank you, I understand".

As nice as that is, it doesn't pay your bills. I buy my friends drinks sometimes, small gifts sometimes if I see something I think they would like. I do these things because I want to, they are not payment for services they have provided.

Honestly, stop working for her. You don't owe her anything and trowelling it on that she supported you when you were starting out is BS. If she really wanted to support your business she would pay the going rate.

She may have said you're named as looking after the pet in the will but have you seen it? Could it be another way of manipulating you? Also unless she is really old the likelihood of the pet outlasting her is very small so you probably would never be asked to do it. Plus in the remote chance you are, it wouldn't be awkward as she wouldn't be there to hand it over.

She's trying to make you feel guilty for trying to make a living. A true friend would support you and either pay the going rate (or a little below if you want) or free up your availability if they can't afford you. No guilt trips.

It really seems like she is emotionally manipulating you. If she was really a true friend, she would understand that you have to earn a living, and that it is your work. Mates rates can get really tricky when it is one way, as you are giving something cheaply and therefore costing yourself the difference with what you could otherwise earn.

Obviously paying you £5 more isn't going to lose the roof over her head if she can afford nail appointments etc, she is choosing to prioritise her nails over paying you more to look after her cat. That is a choice, and priorities that don't match yours.

I think you need to consider if you are really friends or friendly. Is it a two way relationship, or one way with her taking more than she gives?

My hairdresser is a friend and charges me the same rate as everyone. I have no issue when she raises her prices, as all,her bills for products, rent, electricity etc have gone up. It’s a business arrangement.

Run your cleaning business as a business and stop with the mates rates. The cat sitting is possibly slightly different, however I wouldn’t worry too much about the will and you looking after the cat, as it will most likely die before she does. The whole cat/will thing is her emotionally manipulating you.

She is using emotional blackmail to pay you less! Stop working for her. You can still take the cat - if she also provides for it in the Will. It is quite likely though she is making this up! Tell her - she actually needs to pay more than going rate if she is such a good friend - not less. These friendships and Wills can work both ways!

You are running a business you need to treat it like a business not a charity providing budget pet care and cleaning services. If you have been delivering cut price services to her for any length of time she knows full well that you have more than paid back early “support”.

Practice what you want to say and write it if speaking is too difficult. She is using your friendship and fondness of the pet to get cheap care and cleaning services. If the animal is willed to you is she also providing for its care or do you get to pick up all the costs of an ageing cat as well?

She's being really unfair to you and trying to manipulate you so that YOU end up worse off and SHE ends up better off. That's not friendship. I'm sure she does genuinely like you, but she is using you a bit. Do you see that? Many people would feel angry at her reaction but you're upset and feeling guilty. Why do you think that is?

Eta - I'm "friends" with my cleaner and have increased her rate multiple times without her asking - because that is the right thing to do to a friend, not penny pinch!

She is completely manipulating you.

You’ve lost a customer and a friend I'm afraid, if she was ever really your friend that is. She saw you coming.

Yes! When i worked in a restaurant I used to despise all the people who came in and happily expected and accepted massive freebies from a small business owned by a bloke who worked like a trojan just to keep his head above water - I've always thought "mate's rates", especially for anything long term, should be at least as much as normal rates, cos why would you rip off your "mate"?

By the way, if you struggle with texts then chatgpt is really good for this - you can just write down what you want to say without worrying about how it sounds, then ask to reword it. Then edit so it doesn't sound like a bot wrote it 😂

With how much you are defending her, I’m starting to think this is a reverse.

Her priority should be paying the people around her for the services she provides. You also work very hard, and deserve to be paid. And every hour you work for her for next to nothing, you are funding her holidays. Ask her if she would agree to her boss paying her less so she was funding their lifestyle.

She may have been your first client, but she clearly isn’t your last. Frankly, I’d be asking her to pay full price, maybe with a nominal discount or I’d be binning her off. Forget the cat, if you want a pet, go and get one.