To increase this clients charge ?

[Boomboomi]

I have a very awkward situation . I am a cleaner and I took on a lady a year ago who had a difficult situation.
I also look after her cat when I am when she is away and there is an agreement that I care for the cat as she knows me

At the time for my own reasons and her then limited financial situation - single parent , I agreed to work for her add hoc for way below my charge.

We have become friendly.

With the cost of living and I said that I would need to nominally put my price sessions up , but that they would still remain below the going rate , v significantly

This appeared to have caused upset on a personal level for which I am sorry
She has said things like ‘ I thought we were friends, and that she struggles with money Although I know that she works hard she does not have what I would see as a frugal lifestyle as she does go out for meals , has nails done regularly, etc.

I think that I have ‘ offended’ her and she has indicated that I am less of a friend but being transactional.

I absolutely see that lines between business and friendship have been blurred .I have tried to say that my need to increase the charge slightly in no way means that I care less for her or her pet - the latter being the crux of the matter as I have agreed to care for him in her will .

was i bu? And any advice?
My plan is to keep repeating that I genuinely care for her pet but also need to earn .
( Every session I do means that i get paid less than my normal wage - this will continue with the increase- but I would just earn a little more to make it more manageable).

You're not family, and any decent family member would still pay the going rate.

All this texting from the comfort of her holiday! Such a bullshitter.

i agree with this, it is the sort of message I was thinking. I think you’d be better off cutting her off as she’ll be like this again next time you want to increase your prices.

And if you do keep cleaning for her charge your full current rate, she’s not your mate, SHE sounds transactional, and she doesn’t deserve a discount. I hope you’re not looking after the cat for free!

I do not expect my friends to clean my house. I’m sure you don’t either. So why would being friends mean you should clean for below your going rate?

I’d say “look Mary, my standard rate is £20 per hour, because we are friends I’m generously offering you mates rates of £15 per hour. By giving you those 4 hours a week, I’m already losing the extra £20 I’d make if I gave those hours to a client that pays full fees, for the sake of our friendship. If you can’t afford to have me clean anymore even at £15 per hour, I completely understand we need to end the arrangement, and I’ll offer your slot to another client. Please let me know.” Obviously put in the real numbers.

BTW - does she pay you extra to look after the cat?

Some one asked up thread if I dont have many friends or have low self esteem . Maybe the latter, but I do have loads of great friends.
This is not typical to me and I didn't expect it and have found confusing.

Usually when you find yourself confused by how a situation has come about it’s because you’ve been groomed.

You are slowly waking up to this realisation.

Is she paying you for pet sitting? or is it just the occasional drink/gift? If not she's not behaving like a friend by taking advantage of you.

Come on, you are being wayyyyyyyy waayyyy to nice about this!
You won't have a friendship after this because of the way she has behaved.
If she thinks of you as family why is she trying to screw you over financially?
If you are in the will then tough, if she dies you decide if you want to inherit a dog.

Having a cleaner is a luxury. If she can’t afford it, she should clean her own house. Tell her you need to work for the full market rate to pay your own bills. I doubt very much she has a formal will drawn up by a solicitor if she is this tight, but if she wants to pay to change it, so be it. Chances are she will outlive the pet by many years.

Friends don't screw each over like this and use them.

She is a grifter and you have absolutely been taken for a ride.

Best to send a message above that it would be a shame to spoil the friendship, so you will find someone else for the slot.

You won't see your "friend" for dust🙄.

Is it a cleaner? I was thinking dog walker?

she will have the ‘ privilege’ for doing so as she needs me

See? That language is very manipulative with a nasty edge to it. The crying and guilt tripping....no, not fair. "I thought we were family"...wail...no, you're not. She's now going to blank you until she gets home and fair enough no-one wants to deal with domestic issues whilst you're trying to enjoy your holiday but I'd be very cautious about her manipulating you further when she has you face to face.
She should appreciate that you do her a favour charging her well below market rate. Does she know how much you've saved her? And yet she can afford some of the nicer things in life because she 'works so hard'. Reframe that!
As for the cat, did she say it's in the will without consulting you? There is no legal obligation on your part but it's a cheek not to ask first (if, indeed, that's for real - it's all emotional blackmail). She's wily, you're maybe a bit soft and she's taking advantage of that.

Could you continue to look after her pet if you’re attached, but say for the sake of your friendship you need to stop cleaning? It is your job. She’s your friend too, but she’s not cleaning for you because that’s not her job, and if she can pay the going rate for nails, she can pay the going rate for a cleaner!

My sister and I have a small cleaning business. First rule is to never become over friendly with clients. We are friendly and kind especially to the older clients who often need a bit of extra help but they are work to us and cannot be anything more. I used to be a personal assistant for disabled people and the same rule applied. When you work in people’s homes it’s very easy to cross that line but you can bet your bottom dollar it will go tits up if you do.

Sadly this lady is manipulating you and taking the piss. We had a client like this, she was very good with her passive aggressive comments but she just wore us down in the end. We let her go last month and the relief was instant.

I’m confused. Is she the single parent or did you mean yourself?

Because if she’s a single parent but she can also afford a cleaner and a pet, I really don’t see what she’s struggling with.

How much has this cost you OP?
Exactly how much?
You are probably giving her a free holiday?
Is anyone giving you a free holiday?
Cat sitters are expensive.
It really benefits her to manipulate you.

Sounds like she cant afford a cleaner then

I’d leave it until she’s back and have a chat in person.

“Friend, I really value our friendship and I don’t want money to damage the relationship. For that reason I’m giving you X weeks notice that I’m going to stop cleaning for you. That way we can focus on our friendship and I can pet sit for you.”

You can then fill that slot with full rate paying client.

Isittimeformynapyet
My friends agree with much of this thread.
Have said things like
” dump her “
and just because she is emotional - does not mean I have to be responsible for it
manipulation also mentioned as well as the fact we can all have our weak spots
I guess I am struggling not to be compassionate of the emotional reaction she had - she is indicating she feels let down etc whcich is not a nice feeling .. and my own anxiety - my dh says am now scared of her .
Maybe compasion needs to be dealt with an i need to look at the potential manipulation- its just feels horrid that ot could be that
. i was thinking the lash out could be fear ( of loosing a good deal ?)
She was my first client amd said she had been my ‘ bread and butter’ and I think she sounds offended that I am now more busy with full oayimg clients and possibly angey as that to her means I am putting money
I
can
earn before friendship
.

I am going to be very forthright and repeat my stance -that she is still getting mates rates and the need to earn does not mean lackmof care.
I will stick to that .

Your daughter did well dealing with that rip off situation. OP keep reading this particular post and do the same thing.

Assertive response to this:
I do an excellent job for you, I am very reliable and for that I deserve a living wage. To be honest, there are so many chancers out there, I think you're lucky to have me.

This.

She's taking advantage of you.

Unless she is 90 you are both going to outlive the cat so what does it matter that she is leaving it to you in the will?

She is being very manipulative. Step away from cleaning saying you don't want a transactional relationship so it's better that take business out of it.

OP this woman is a user. She is not your friend. Id get out of the arrangement.

In a normal arrangement you say "my fees have gone up, they are now x". If they are not happy they can go elsewhere.

You need to tell her that her reaction has upset you and she clearly thinks it's Okay to underpay you which is not friend or family behaviour. Get another client and drop her.

Of course she's going to say she will pay (grudgingly) where else is she going to get cheap cleaning and pet care. Stop letting her manipulate you. My cleaner charges me £20/hr north west uk. Pet care would be extra.

At one point, I think you said that she has an adult daughter, but you don't know anything about their relationship? I think if you were 'family' you would know more about her. Have you ever in your friendship felt like you and she were 'family'? That close? Or do you think she's just trying to guilt trip you?

Expecting mates rates from someone who is doing a low-paying job is a massive pisstake. It's not like, say, being a shit-hot lawyer getting hundreds of pounds per hour and dispensing a bit of legal advice to you friends for free, or popping round to your nan's to have a look at the boiler on a sunday.

She 's a user. She could just as easily turn it round and say "I would have to pay a stranger x amount to clean my house, I would much rather give that money to a friend"

Bread and butter my arse. Cheap toast bread and margarine at best!