To increase this clients charge ?

[Boomboomi]

I have a very awkward situation . I am a cleaner and I took on a lady a year ago who had a difficult situation.
I also look after her cat when I am when she is away and there is an agreement that I care for the cat as she knows me

At the time for my own reasons and her then limited financial situation - single parent , I agreed to work for her add hoc for way below my charge.

We have become friendly.

With the cost of living and I said that I would need to nominally put my price sessions up , but that they would still remain below the going rate , v significantly

This appeared to have caused upset on a personal level for which I am sorry
She has said things like ‘ I thought we were friends, and that she struggles with money Although I know that she works hard she does not have what I would see as a frugal lifestyle as she does go out for meals , has nails done regularly, etc.

I think that I have ‘ offended’ her and she has indicated that I am less of a friend but being transactional.

I absolutely see that lines between business and friendship have been blurred .I have tried to say that my need to increase the charge slightly in no way means that I care less for her or her pet - the latter being the crux of the matter as I have agreed to care for him in her will .

was i bu? And any advice?
My plan is to keep repeating that I genuinely care for her pet but also need to earn .
( Every session I do means that i get paid less than my normal wage - this will continue with the increase- but I would just earn a little more to make it more manageable).

Suggest you tell her you have thought a lot about what she said and that you agree business is getting in the way of your friendship. So for that reason, you can't work for her anymore. That is transactional anyway, regardless of how much (or little) she pays you. See how long she continues the friendship.

Hopefully, she does. And she can find a full-price cleaner in the meantime!

By the way, a real friend doesn't take money out of your pocket.

She's the one being transactional. The mark of a real mate is they don't demand mates' rates. My suspicion is she will only consider you a friend as long as you are doing her favours. Your favours are getting smaller which in her world view makes you less of a friend. If you were to stop cleaning for her altogether I expect you wouldn't see her for dust, which actually might be quite informative and healthy for you. It would be interesting to see if she hung around anyway - if you giving her less of your labour could be "forgivable" in her eyes, or if you are still worth her time at all if not giving her free labour. But it's not my life to go messing with.

You need to think carefully about what you want to achieve here. I thought the assertive messaged you posted at 13.05 was excellent. As a friend you are allowed to have feelings. She shouldn't get to have ALL the upsides of the friendship, and you all the downsides of it also being a professional relationship. But some people are just takers and people rarely value what they get for free (or cheap).

OP, you seem like such a good soul. She has used you, manipulated you and completely undervalued you.

She sees herself above you and isn't your friend, not remotely.

I would sever the arrangement. Things will only be awkward anyway. You will easily fill her spot, and with someone more than happy to pay the going rate and what you are worth.

Dear fuckface, I have thought about all you said and have decided not to work/clean for you anymore. I'll drop your keys back..... Enjoy the rest of your time away. Boom.

Don't engage with her anymore or mention looking after the cat. Life is hard and stressful enough, without drama and shit from someone who isn't worthy of any more of your time and good will.

Why are you not calling her out on all the luxuries she enjoys that you can't afford? I think you need to say that since the transactional nature of the arrangement is upsetting her best there is no transaction at all and you will stop cleaning for her but continue your commitment to care for her cat. I strongly suspect she will try to manipulate you to continue cleaning. Ask her how many of her other friends clean for her - none, of course - and then state that is the type of friendship you want. Don't be surprised if she drops you like a hot potato apart from when she goes away and wants free cat sitting.

She is taking the piss. Big time

if having nails done prob every 3w at £30+ she can afford you

or drop to every other week at full wage

as an aside I have employed several of my friends to work cleaning alongside me and I have paid them a decent rate. One friend asked for more because that is what she got working privately for other clients, so I adjusted to keep in line. You dont short change friends, if anything you are generous to them because you appreciate that mixing friendship and business is risky, and you want to make sure that nobody feels they are being taken advantage of.

About the cat in the will. Is she leaving you money to pay for vet bills, insurance, food etc? Because that’s what normally happens.

I think you should tell her you’ll have to let her go. Get yourself a full paying client, you shouldn’t be out of pocket on her behalf especially as she isn’t at all grateful for it. Say you want to keep friendship and business separate from here on in, so it’s best you part ways cleaning/pet care wise.

She is pretending to be your "friend" to take advantage of you financially. You are kind to her to your own detriment and she is a CF.
I would keep it simple.
You can clean for her at the same rate as all your other clients. If she thinks thats too expensive and can't afford it, then she can find another cleaner.

Forget the business about the cat!. I wouldn't be looking after her cat, she is massively taking you for a mug. Do you know how much people pay for catteries and cat sitters?

Paying you for your cleaning service is transactional. You are providing a service she needs to pay.
She is a cf and chancer trying to manipulate you into seriously undercharging her, using your friendship as a bargaining chip. Bo real friend would do this.
You are not cleaning as a favour it is your job and livelihood.
She is an Awful woman, and for me I would see this interaction as ending the friendship

What's hard for you to get your head round, because you're wired up differently, OP (thank goodness!), is that there is no point telling her how you feel. She is absolutely not the slightest bit interested in your feelings. She just wants to get a job done as cheaply as possible, at your expense. Don't be fooled by her friendly gestures (gifts, wine). She is no friend.

@Boomboomi
She knows shes got a person who she can string along by the way she's treated you
And the cats welfare is just emotional blackmail to keep you in your place
So you'll do/accept whatever she asks because of the cat
But believe me
My cat didn't care who was what as long as she got fed and sat in the most comfortable chair in the room
If I were you
I'd find new more appreciating clients
And leave her to her version of a "poverty lifestyle"
Let her eat cake

I would keep it neutral, not because she doesn't deserve to hear that you're upset, but because I suspect it will just give her ammunition to make you feel worse.

"Lucy, I'm sorry you felt offended that I have had to increase my prices. I put it off as long as I could. My business decisions have no bearing on our friendship, which I value. I completely understand that this may be too much for you and please don't feel obliged to continue with our arrangement - there is no obligation to continue the cleaning sessions. If you could let me know by next week if you want me to continue, that would be great."

Don't give her the emotion that she's looking for.

Lougle ·
Brilliant . Thanks . That sounds so reasonable. If she says well i cant afford it I imagine she will get upset and ask do I not care about her or pet , but I think this really makes sense .

OP she is an adult, you are not responsible for her emotional stability. Equally you are running a business offering cleaning services, she does not need to understand your perspective.

Your prices are your prices, either you think your time and skills are worth the rate you charge or you are scamming your customers, which I don't think is the case, I'm just making a point. Have some confidence in yourself and value your time.

If she cannot afford to pay the going rate she cannot afford your services. She is free to make choices about how she prioritises her spending but you don't have to cut your rates so that she can have her cake and eat it.

I would drop her as a client, it's clearly costing you money and stress. Tell her you value her friendship but it is no longer financially viable for you to provide your service at a discounted rate to anyone. If you do not make a decision about this now you will be cleaning for her at whatever the slightly increased rate is forever because you won't dare discuss increases in the future after this episode.

FWIW I think she is very emotionally manipulative and frankly it cringe inducing for a grown adult to behave the way she has. If she drops you as a friend you will have to accept that she's been clear about how little she values you.

Primarily you need to remember that no matter how much you might like a client you are running a business. Are you happy to leave your heating off this winter so that someone else doesn't have to choose between a manicure and a cleaner?

She isn't some impoverished 90+ with limited means struggling to pay a cleaner they really need. She's a working person who can take herself off on holiday.

The sooner the scales fall from your eyes about her @Boomboomi , the better it will be for you, because she is really not your friend.

I bet the damn cat isn't in her will. Just another string in her tiny violin!

And don’t worry about the cat. She can change her will

cats don’t care and are fickle

as long as fed

I was thinking the same thing.
Can't you tell her that you're not as available as per your usual arrangement as due to the cost of living you've had to take on full paying clients.
Remember ... you're running a business to live..not running a bloody charity

she wont die if she doesnt have a cleaner. Its a luxury that the majority of us would love, but cant afford.

Frankly I would be very surprised.
She is claiming poverty - despite eating out, getting nails done etc. Is it likely she would spend money on putting the cat in her will?
Mmmmm.

This is it, a real friend wouldn't devalue you or your work she would support your business if she was a real friend. She is not genuine.

She is treating you as slave labour because she wants a cleaner for £5 per hour below your rate and is bartering for that by offering 'friendship'. She will no longer be offering friendship when you are not offering cheap labour to her.

Let her enjoy her holiday and all her other luxuries but do not let her have any part of your hard work for free, she pays what it is or she goes.

Leave this job, just make excuses along the lines of 'just got an offer of a long-term assignment, can't fit you in anymore'. She is no friend of yours. And in the future do not 'go below going rates' - what is this need to compete with yourself? Why?

She is playing on your friendship Op, making you feel guilty even though it sounds like she can afford an increase. Stick to your guns, increase your rate or give her notice and find another client who is willing to pay the going rate

If she can't afford a cleaner she needs to whip out her hoover and live within her means