To increase this clients charge ?

[Boomboomi]

I have a very awkward situation . I am a cleaner and I took on a lady a year ago who had a difficult situation.
I also look after her cat when I am when she is away and there is an agreement that I care for the cat as she knows me

At the time for my own reasons and her then limited financial situation - single parent , I agreed to work for her add hoc for way below my charge.

We have become friendly.

With the cost of living and I said that I would need to nominally put my price sessions up , but that they would still remain below the going rate , v significantly

This appeared to have caused upset on a personal level for which I am sorry
She has said things like ‘ I thought we were friends, and that she struggles with money Although I know that she works hard she does not have what I would see as a frugal lifestyle as she does go out for meals , has nails done regularly, etc.

I think that I have ‘ offended’ her and she has indicated that I am less of a friend but being transactional.

I absolutely see that lines between business and friendship have been blurred .I have tried to say that my need to increase the charge slightly in no way means that I care less for her or her pet - the latter being the crux of the matter as I have agreed to care for him in her will .

was i bu? And any advice?
My plan is to keep repeating that I genuinely care for her pet but also need to earn .
( Every session I do means that i get paid less than my normal wage - this will continue with the increase- but I would just earn a little more to make it more manageable).

She's taking you for an absolute fool and YOU feel bad about it?!

MotherofPufflings

I dont know why I feel guilty when others may feel angry, to be honest.
I suppose its made me feel ashamed? Maybe I am too much of a people pleaser.
I am firm with all other clients tho. I suppose this was at the start,and am big animal lover and my own boundaries were loose as I genuinely love creatures.

I didnt want to comment however tell her i no longer providing services based on loyalty and friendship. It will have to be based on business only as this has caused some issue and contention on our friendship.
'Business means you provide her with a 'service' not gratis below my sub wage because i'm a considerate walkover and you go bitch all you want however these are my terms.'

Take your name of the will or notify her that you will do so. If not it means your still attached to the animal based on apathy. If you love animals find somewhere else like a shelter or whatnot

Great advice @Boomboomi, have you tried it? 🤔

She can afford to have her nails done, can afford a cleaner and go out for meals, so not on the breadline such that she is worthy of a reduced rate for cleaning.
The cat being in the will is not a legal commitment

Move on and block

"I feel that I am not so BU now".
You are not being unreasonable at all. Don't work for her unless she's paying market rate.

She is using you.

Friendship is not going to pay your bill and she is not even grateful that you have been offering her lower rates.

I would drop her as a client.

Is she an old lady?
Could you say you’re changing jobs and giving up cleaning ( or would she find out )
What about reducing the time you spend cleaning there ..cutting back on that .. for the same amount . I totally get the cat bit 🐾❤️

If she’s still working hard for her money then what are the chances of the cat outliving her anyway?

Shes using you. I’d just cancel the whole arrangement since it’s causing upset. She can get a new cleaner

You're not a friend to her. You are a source of cheap labour. Does she do an equivalent work in return?

Stop the cleaning work unless it's at your normal rate but say you will check on the cat & care for the cat for free as a favour.

If she thinks of you as a friend then she will get over it but if she's only 'friends' with you because you serve a purpose then move on.

She has money for nails to be done and to go on holiday……but takes offence because you want to put your cleaning rates up???? Sorry OP, but she is taking you for granted. Step away and let her find another mug to exploit! Good luck with your cleaning business 💐

Please don't feel ashamed, you have nothing to feel ashamed for. You have done her so many favours, because by the sounds of it you're a nice person who wants to do the right thing and be kind. But you deserve that people do the right thing by you and are kind to you too. Your need and deserve to earn a good living and it is not kind of your friend to try and get something for you by making you feel bad

She goes away,has nails done,goes out for meals! Shes mugging you off,she is no way hard up if she can afford all that. Dump the CF immediately, absolutely taking liberties,you deserve better

Sorry but this is so manipulating of this woman. Even if you are in the will (and you cannot know for certain even if she waves the document under your nose) as she can change this at any time - she has a great deal going here because she is saving herself a fortune in fees by not paying a pet sitter.

I would do as others suggest and just step back from this client entirely and learn from this not to get too involved with any going forward. I am a pet owner and utterly soppy and doting with mine - but this cat is not actually yours, so you will get over not seeing it within a week or so. I’ve also been a childminder and fostered close relationships with children and their parents over years. You detach pretty quickly once the contracted relationship ends, even though it is lovely to bump into them from time to time… it’s a paid, contractual relationship.

Step away.

BoredZelda
i am not defending and its 100% not a reverse. It s me looking for explanations as I don’t get it ..?? not defending .

Why do some people in this world get away with throwing their toys out the pram? Because they care a lot less about upsetting you than you care about upsetting them. She’s thinking only of herself and she doesn’t give a shit that you’ve given her a discount all this time. I’d be looking closely at whether you get anything out of this friendship.

Don't feel bad about it! I think she is using her emotions to mug you off! I am also friendly with my cleaner - but I pay her above the going rate because having her is important to me!

You can't live off gifts and friendship - you need to make your money! Charge her your going rate with just a small discount if you want to. If she won't pay that then you need to find work elsewhere. I know that sounds harsh but the occasional drink and a gift doesn't put food on the table or pay the rent.

OMG, you are being FAR too soft. This is your business, not a game. I am self employed. NO ONE gets mates rates, except for my SIL. You didn't even know this woman when you first gave her mates rates. Why on earth did you do that?

Just text her :

"Hey, sorry you feel offended, that wasn't my intention. I have now cleaned for you for a whole year at reduced rates, however, I can't justify turning away full paying clients who I could fill your slot with, because I really do need the money. Let me know whether you want to stay on the books or whether I should stop cleaning for you"

or

"Hi [Name], I'm sorry if my previous message upset you; I certainly didn't mean to offend! I just wanted to be upfront about my situation. I’ve really valued our arrangement over the past year, but as a business, I really need to look after my income and can't continue at the reduced rate. Have a think about whether you'd like to continue at the standard rate, or if you'd rather call it a day, and just let me know"

BTW - someone who eats out, gets nails done and has a cleaner, is not short of money! She's taking you for a fool, and you are behaving like one!!

Didn’t see this coming? She saw you coming @Boomboomi

Just because she puts something in her will doesn’t bind you to her.

Just because she turns on the waterworks to guilt you doesn’t mean you have to accept it.

”yes, you were one of my first clients. I still give you a discount, even if I increase the rate”

I’m very much someone who values loyalty, but she is absolutely morally blackmailing you here.

The business of the will is a red herring. Cats don't live much beyond 20 years and if this woman is working, eating out and going on holiday, I guess she isn't expecting to die any time soon! She will almost certainly outlive the cat. She is a user and a CF and, like other PPs, I feel you would be best to sever the relationship, especially since the barrage of guilt-inducing texts. I employ several people I have come to think of as friends, but I actually pay them above the going hourly rate and top up with gifts at Christmas and occasional ones through the year.

She is taking the absolute piss OP.
All the (fake) crying is complete manipulation. You sound lovely and she is taking total advantage of your good nature.
I would send her a text dropping her as a client, say it's not working for you and you need full paying customers. And ignore the cat/will bullshit. Just more manipulation.
Some people have no shame.

Hang on - are you looking after her cat for free?? Blimey, that is saving her £15 to £20 a day when she goes on holidays. You are crazy.

Wow, she sounds super manipulative and she doesn't care about you at all - she is asking you to subsidise her life without giving a thought as to how YOU are struggling!

I have friends who do work for me, and I literally tell them if they work extra hours to bill me the extra after I learned one had worked extra hours on something and wasn't going to bill me for it. If you work, you get paid - that's just how it should be.

Ditch this madwoman, forget about the pet in the will thing (did she really pay ovcer £100 to have that added to her will when she won't pay you £5 extra an hour? doubtful) and find a client who will pay you what you deserve.

I have friends but there's no way I'd be popping over to do their cleaning. She's taking advantage, blow the cat, find another client who pays the going rate.

She's taking advantage of you. A cleaner is a privilege. If she can't pay she cleans her own house. Dump her a client. She's no friend.