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Got into an argument and got reported to the police... what do you think?

319 replies

FairyonaFrog · 31/08/2026 13:00

This happened last week and it has been on my mind. I would like some feedback as I'm too embarrassed to discuss it with family and friends.

I was driving to a smallish, local town for some shopping. I wanted to park in a side road that has limited access and I was looking for the way in. I got confused looking for the entry way and ended up committed a traffic offense in which I mounted and crossed the pavement (I could go into more detail on this, but it's a bit complicated to explain the exact layout of the road). I immediately realised my mistake and drove off the other side. No one was involved, no pedestrians, no other cars, but it was a stupid mistake and I felt a bit shaken afterwards.

A couple of minutes later, I was buying a parking ticket at the machine, and I was approached by a random bloke, who asked me, quite forcefully "was that just you, in that blue car, who drove across the pavement?". I was a bit taken aback, but answered honestly - I said, yes it was me, I made a stupid mistake, I was confused by the road layout.

As I walked back to my car, he followed me and continued to go on. He said "that could have been really dangerous", I said yes, sorry, repeated I had made a mistake, and explained again that I had been confused, and that I wasn't from the town and didn't visit often so was unfamiliar with the road layout. He then said "it's lucky no-one was injured", and I said that there was no-one there (I'm starting to get pretty irritated at this point). He then kept saying "I've never seen anything like it, it's the most unbelievable thing I've ever seen in my life". By now I'm really pissed off with him, and suggest that if that's the case maybe he should get a f*ing life (I'm not proud of myself). We then shortly arrived at my car, at which point he said "Well, you should be more careful", and I said as a parting shot (really cross now) "Well you should be more careful or you'll get punched in the face". (Double meaning here - that's how he was making me feel, but also, if he goes around accosting people like this, it's likely to happen in the future). At this point he walked off, possibly smirking.

I should also add that my elderly mum was in the car, waiting for me in the passenger seat and she told me afterwards that he had approached her and demanded if she was driving, before finding me at the parking machine.

Anyway, I drove home home later, pretty upset about the whole thing and fully aware that it wasn't my finest hour. About 2 hours later there's a ring on my doorbell and it's the police. The guy has reported me for threatening him. I think he must have given them the car registration and I got the impression a police car went past my house later and saw my car on the drive!

I was, of course, horrified. I told the police the whole story as above, and they listened, and were actually sympathetic to me (or seemed to be), and told me they would be taking things no further and closing the report down. They even seemed to agree that the guy is, in fact, inviting trouble by approaching people like this. I wonder if he is already known to them for being a constant complainer.

I can't believe it though. I feel now that I was deliberately goaded. I mean, what did he expect by harassing a stranger - if he was that worried about my driving he should have gone straight to the police. What was he hoping to achieve?

I also feel really ashamed of myself for losing my temper and rising to him (I'm actively trying to get less irritated with people in day to day life), and I feel pretty stupid for making the driving mistake in the first place.

I'd just be really interested to hear what people think about this situation. Was I out of order or was he?

OP posts:
ResilientWallflower · 31/08/2026 16:55

lindalidl · 31/08/2026 16:47

This is very similar to the thread last week that seemed to escalate very quickly, no disabled space free so parked over 2 spaces and told some kid his Dad was a cunt for parking too close. Oh and the one who had an altercation in a shop over taking food from the back. I don’t actually believe any of these threads FWIW.

I thought both of those posters were pretty reasonable actually. Who wants to buy something that goes out of date tomorrow when there's fresher stuff at the back? And I've lost count of the number of threads here about people who insists on parking right up close to you in an empty car park. All three OPs lost their temper in the course of dealing with something all normal people would find frustrating. What's less believable is people who claim they never ever lose their cool in stressful situations, when, let's face it, modern life is overflowing with provocations.

bananaboats · 31/08/2026 16:55

Surprised at the people on here saying YANBU! Dangerous driving & threatening someone sounds like you were well out of order and im not surprised he called the police!

Sunnyskies882 · 31/08/2026 16:58

DebbieSavage · 31/08/2026 13:10

U did nothing wrong hun I would have reported that man for sexual harassment he had no wright following u around like that hope ur OK ❤

WTF?? Sexual harassment?

Hellohelga · 31/08/2026 17:05

Ok it wasn’t your finest hour but you were flustered and wound up and he harassed you. There was no harm done in the end apart from some bad feeling. For next time have a stock get out expression. Ok you’ve had your say, now please stop harassing/ following me/ swearing at me. Keep I’ll call the police in reserve. Once you make it clear a man is being threatening they usually back off.

zigazigaaaing · 31/08/2026 17:06

I don’t really have any sympathy, I mean the guy seems like a busy body but to be fair as a buggy pusher on my road I would have also said something to you as this is so dangerous. Also you then threatened physical violence? not classy

Daisywhatsyouranswer · 31/08/2026 17:07

Sunnyskies882 · 31/08/2026 16:58

WTF?? Sexual harassment?

It gives every woman a bad name when a woman wants to falsely accuse a man like that, it’s awful

Spiffingdarling88 · 31/08/2026 17:12

bananaboats · 31/08/2026 16:55

Surprised at the people on here saying YANBU! Dangerous driving & threatening someone sounds like you were well out of order and im not surprised he called the police!

That's not quite how it played out. She made a mistake, no one was in danger. She apologised to the man - who by the way was unaffected by the incident. He carried on following her and goading her. Had it been another man (Which we all know, he wouldn't of carried on following) he would have been punched in the face.

Daisywhatsyouranswer · 31/08/2026 17:13

Spiffingdarling88 · 31/08/2026 17:12

That's not quite how it played out. She made a mistake, no one was in danger. She apologised to the man - who by the way was unaffected by the incident. He carried on following her and goading her. Had it been another man (Which we all know, he wouldn't of carried on following) he would have been punched in the face.

Oh give over, what a ridiculous statement, no man I know would have punched him in the face, I’m sorry you only know men like that. But the men I know are more capable of self restraint

WildFatball · 31/08/2026 17:15

You sound weirdly over polite and meek on the one hand (admitting to a random aggressive man a mistake you had made) and overly aggressive on the other (threatening him with violence). It is fucking annoying when people drive really badly, and driving on the pavement is completely out of order under any circumstances. However there's no way I would have been admitting anything to a random aggressive man. It sounds like you both wound each other up but he had done nothing wrong other than call you out for dangerous driving.

Spiffingdarling88 · 31/08/2026 17:16

Daisywhatsyouranswer · 31/08/2026 17:13

Oh give over, what a ridiculous statement, no man I know would have punched him in the face, I’m sorry you only know men like that. But the men I know are more capable of self restraint

Male violence doesn't exist .... okay then. You carry on in your little bubble.

AngelaP71 · 31/08/2026 17:19

Daisywhatsyouranswer · 31/08/2026 17:13

Oh give over, what a ridiculous statement, no man I know would have punched him in the face, I’m sorry you only know men like that. But the men I know are more capable of self restraint

Some men definitely would. Maybe none that you know, but a significant proportion definitely would.

I've seen two drivers get out of their cars and start fighting each other because of some perceived bad driving/rudeness/whatever!

DeterminedRat · 31/08/2026 17:24

mcmooberry · 31/08/2026 16:27

She has stated that it would have been more dangerous to continue going onwards, maybe it was a one way system so safer to turn round.

The OP drives across footpaths and threatens to punch people, she doesn't sound like a person who has a grasp on what is appropriate.

ginasevern · 31/08/2026 17:26

@RogueFemale "As PPs have said, he wouldn't have dared hassle a man like this."

It would be nice to think he'd pick on the wrong one but of course he won't. He'll continue to jizz in his pants by intimidating women. Bonus points if they've got their elderly mother with them.

AgentJohnson · 31/08/2026 17:29

He was a busybody and after the initial exchange there was no need to engage with him further.

If you are quick to profanity and threats of violence, then you really need to work on this. He could have equally matched your behaviour and his report to the Police would have been the least of your worries.

kombuchabucha · 31/08/2026 17:31

He was definitely goading you which was out of order, but you were out of order to swear at him and imply you would punch him in the face.

I can see that an interaction like that would really catch you off guard though, and we all say stupid things in the spur of the moment, especially if we feel under attack.

It might have been better to ignore him or say "please stop following me" after you'd replied to him once or twice, but you never know how these things could escalate and he sounds like an unpredictable weirdo.

Daisywhatsyouranswer · 31/08/2026 17:32

kombuchabucha · 31/08/2026 17:31

He was definitely goading you which was out of order, but you were out of order to swear at him and imply you would punch him in the face.

I can see that an interaction like that would really catch you off guard though, and we all say stupid things in the spur of the moment, especially if we feel under attack.

It might have been better to ignore him or say "please stop following me" after you'd replied to him once or twice, but you never know how these things could escalate and he sounds like an unpredictable weirdo.

Really? You think he was the unpredictable 0ne? Confused

SummerHols2026 · 31/08/2026 17:35

WindsorGreatPark · 31/08/2026 13:10

Are you the same poster who had the police turn up because you told a teenage boy to tell his dad he was a cunt after parking badly in a supermarket car park?

Or is this a new MN engagement farming technique with stories about police turning up 2 hours after a minor dispute?

Either way, don't swear at people and threaten them and the police won't turn up on your doorstep.

Edited

I wondered the same! So many stories of people doing something wrong and then losing their shit when called out on it.

Butchyrestingface · 31/08/2026 17:37

nopiesleftinthisvehicle · 31/08/2026 13:09

Well he isn't harangueing "people", he's bullying two females - one of whom is elderly.
If you had been a 6 foot bloke built like the proverbial, he would have kept his mouth shut.

Twat.

If you had been a 6 foot bloke built like the proverbial, he would have kept his mouth shut.

That's the part I probably would have pointed out to him, rather than a not-so-oblique threat to punch him in the face.

Butchyrestingface · 31/08/2026 17:38

DebbieSavage · 31/08/2026 13:10

U did nothing wrong hun I would have reported that man for sexual harassment he had no wright following u around like that hope ur OK ❤

You don't have the faintest idea what sexual harassment is.

DebbieSavage · 31/08/2026 17:45

Butchyrestingface · 31/08/2026 17:38

You don't have the faintest idea what sexual harassment is.

Yes i do actually, what a horrible thing to say. Please apologise to me or I will report your comment for the trauma that it has caused me.

Smoosha · 31/08/2026 17:45

Roseshavethorns · 31/08/2026 16:42

What you did was incredibly dangerous. You could have done a 3 (or 33) point turn, presumably you would have said if it was a one way street, and driven out safely. It was only by sheer luck that there wasn't an extremely serious accident.
The bloke absolutely shouldn't have continued to confront you. You were also very wrong in the way you reacted to him.
I wonder if he got a real fright watching what you did and that's why he took it to the police. Most people would realise that aggressively confronting an elderly lady in the passenger seat of a car and then a lone female who, before you threatened him, was posing no danger to him whatsoever is completely unacceptable. So I wonder why he would report himself to the police in this instance when he was risking a counter accusation? Perhaps he thought your driving was so dangerous that he really had no choice.
We all make mistakes behind the wheel. If we are lucky we get away without tragic consequences. I guess in this instance all you can do is be thankful you got away with it and learn from the experience.

I agree that what she did was wrong even if a mistake. But was it really so so dangerous and only sheer luck there wasn’t an extremely serious accident? As others have pointed out people drive over pavements all the time when leaving driveways. The driver just needs to make sure they look and drive slowly. If the OP could see there was zero pedestrians around then it wasn’t extremely dangerous although yes she still shouldn’t have done it. It was wrong, and if she had been caught by police and got a ticket/points then I wouldn’t disagree with that. But no one here has any idea what the OP could see and if there was any actual risk.

TheIceBear · 31/08/2026 17:46

So inappropriate the way he acted . If he said it once it’s one thing but following you around and going on and on about it is quite threatening to a woman on her own . I’m not surprised you told him to F off . I don’t condone the punch comment but he sounds incredibly irritating. And it’s ridiculous he told the police about this what a complete and utter waste of police time .

MrsVBS · 31/08/2026 17:46

It’s always men who harass women, I can guarantee if you’d been a six foot rugby player man he would never have approached you, yes you shouldn’t have sworn at him but he was harassing you, shame the police haven’t got anything better to attend to.

Fortheloveoffrogs · 31/08/2026 17:46

Aluna · 31/08/2026 15:08

But if you’re not dysregulated you don’t dysregulate under pressure.

Dysregulation is a state, not a trait, and with enough pressure and goading, any one of us can dysregulate.

Fortheloveoffrogs · 31/08/2026 17:50

zigazigaaaing · 31/08/2026 17:06

I don’t really have any sympathy, I mean the guy seems like a busy body but to be fair as a buggy pusher on my road I would have also said something to you as this is so dangerous. Also you then threatened physical violence? not classy

Fair enough to say something. And when the OP agreed that she’d made a mistake and apologised to you, what would you do? Have another go? Then if the OP apologised again and explained it was an error, what would you do?

I hope you’d say ‘fair enough’ and move on. Or would you also follow her, berating her and telling her off until she reached her car? 🤔