Got into an argument and got reported to the police... what do you think?

[FairyonaFrog]

This happened last week and it has been on my mind. I would like some feedback as I'm too embarrassed to discuss it with family and friends.

I was driving to a smallish, local town for some shopping. I wanted to park in a side road that has limited access and I was looking for the way in. I got confused looking for the entry way and ended up committed a traffic offense in which I mounted and crossed the pavement (I could go into more detail on this, but it's a bit complicated to explain the exact layout of the road). I immediately realised my mistake and drove off the other side. No one was involved, no pedestrians, no other cars, but it was a stupid mistake and I felt a bit shaken afterwards.

A couple of minutes later, I was buying a parking ticket at the machine, and I was approached by a random bloke, who asked me, quite forcefully "was that just you, in that blue car, who drove across the pavement?". I was a bit taken aback, but answered honestly - I said, yes it was me, I made a stupid mistake, I was confused by the road layout.

As I walked back to my car, he followed me and continued to go on. He said "that could have been really dangerous", I said yes, sorry, repeated I had made a mistake, and explained again that I had been confused, and that I wasn't from the town and didn't visit often so was unfamiliar with the road layout. He then said "it's lucky no-one was injured", and I said that there was no-one there (I'm starting to get pretty irritated at this point). He then kept saying "I've never seen anything like it, it's the most unbelievable thing I've ever seen in my life". By now I'm really pissed off with him, and suggest that if that's the case maybe he should get a f*ing life (I'm not proud of myself). We then shortly arrived at my car, at which point he said "Well, you should be more careful", and I said as a parting shot (really cross now) "Well you should be more careful or you'll get punched in the face". (Double meaning here - that's how he was making me feel, but also, if he goes around accosting people like this, it's likely to happen in the future). At this point he walked off, possibly smirking.

I should also add that my elderly mum was in the car, waiting for me in the passenger seat and she told me afterwards that he had approached her and demanded if she was driving, before finding me at the parking machine.

Anyway, I drove home home later, pretty upset about the whole thing and fully aware that it wasn't my finest hour. About 2 hours later there's a ring on my doorbell and it's the police. The guy has reported me for threatening him. I think he must have given them the car registration and I got the impression a police car went past my house later and saw my car on the drive!

I was, of course, horrified. I told the police the whole story as above, and they listened, and were actually sympathetic to me (or seemed to be), and told me they would be taking things no further and closing the report down. They even seemed to agree that the guy is, in fact, inviting trouble by approaching people like this. I wonder if he is already known to them for being a constant complainer.

I can't believe it though. I feel now that I was deliberately goaded. I mean, what did he expect by harassing a stranger - if he was that worried about my driving he should have gone straight to the police. What was he hoping to achieve?

I also feel really ashamed of myself for losing my temper and rising to him (I'm actively trying to get less irritated with people in day to day life), and I feel pretty stupid for making the driving mistake in the first place.

I'd just be really interested to hear what people think about this situation. Was I out of order or was he?

Where do you live, you can't get the police out for actual crimes involving real criminals where I live 😂

It's reasonable to question what will happen the next time OP accidentally drives onto a pavement.

You think that is likely? You think the OP is hard wired to drive over pavements? Come on.

We don't know that there will be a next time. There's nothing in the OP's post to suggest that she regularly finds herself driving over a pavement when it's not permitted. It also appears from the OP's update that she was aware at all times that she was crossing a pavement (so presumably would have been looking out for pedestrians). Her mistake, as I understand it, was that she thought a dropped kerb was there to allow a passing point for cars when in fact it was there to help pedestrians pass easily between the service road and the main road. Without a photo we can't know how obvious it should have been that the dropped kerb was for use by pedestrians only.

Don't be silly. She made a mistake. Anyone's can make a mistake. She is unlikely to make the same one again.

It never fails to amaze me how much some people on here love to stick the boot in. Honestly think some posters must jump up and down with glee when they find something to be judgey about.

Yep. Very minor inconsequential spat in the street between two people that ultimately comes to naught, though?

They're straight on it like the proverbial fly to the proverbial dog poo.

I'm shocked at how blasé some posters are about driving across a pavement. Yes anyone can make a mistake, but it's reasonable to question people when they do.

You can question the mistake by why do you need to question this apparent next time? Why do you think there will definitely be a next time? I mentioned earlier when I accidentally drove down a one way street last year. I’ve been driving 28 years. Never done that before. So far I haven’t done it since. I also remember in about 2006 turning left in Manchester City centre and realised I was in a buses only area. I’ve never done that since in the past 20 years. Do you want to question what will happen next time I do either of those things?
I remember my mum driving straight through a red light when I was about 12. She was horrified when she realised. As far as I’m aware between the early 1990s and her death a few years ago she didn’t do that again. She certainly didn’t do it whenever I was in the car. In fact my mother never had an accident in her whole driving life except one time when someone drove into the back of her when she was stationary at traffic lights.
The OP is aware of what she did. I’m sure now she will make sure she never does that again. What else do you expect her to do? Quite often when a person does something wrong it makes them more alert to similar issues in the future.

I think the OP has explained in her update what happened. I think the key point here is that OP was at all times aware that she was crossing a pavement, so will presumably have taken an appropriate level of care to check there were no pedestrians. Her mistake was to mistake a dropped kerb passing point for pedestrians for a dropped kerb passing point for vehicles. From some of the comments on here you would think cars crossing pavements was an unknown phenomenon rather than something that happens millions of times a day as people enter and exit their driveways.

The difference is pedestrian behaviour.
If, as a pedestrian, you are aware that cars may be turning on to driveways etc you keep an eye out, hold on to children don't let them go ahead on scooters or bikes. If it is a pavement with no dropped kerbs you are less observant, more relaxed with children on scooters. No pedestrian approaches a crossing and expects a car to drive through the crossing and over the pavement. Children, in my experience, often run to a crossing so they can press the button and parents let them.
And the op's own admission that she was confused and stressed and actually drove through a pedestrian crossing point would imply it was even more dangerous than I first assumed.

I've had similar exchanges with men, giving them a piece of my mind when they are out of order, it might be unwise but it's just how you react in the moment. Don't worry about it further, OP.

@Smoosha @Ilmiocompleanno

The OP decided it was better to put pedestrians in danger than to reverse back onto a road, and is defending that decision.
What is there to show she wouldn't do the same again?

Pedestrian crossing point doesn’t necessarily mean it had traffic lights. It could just have been a dropped kerb only.

Also I live on a residential road where pretty much every house has a driveway. Children zoom on their bikes and rollerskates up and down all day long on this road without any direct parental supervision. No one seems to worry about them being hit by a car driving out a driveway.

But she’d need to make the same mistake in the first place in order to make the same decision again. And there’s nothing to say she would mistake a crossing point for an entrance again. It’s a very unusual situation in the first place.

I must admit that I had read the reference to "crossing point" as simply referring to a dropped kerb to enable wheelchair users to cross from the service road to the main road. If the OP is saying that she failed to notice a full pelican crossing, I agree that makes it a much worse mistake. If the OP is still reading, perhaps she'll come back and clarify!

As you have just said it was a mistake, which the OP admitted to and detailed why it happened. What more do you want?

You are not reasonably questioning you are making up what if scenarios of what might have happened and defending them by saying well that might be the case next time.

No-one is being blase about the OP driving over the pavement, like the OP it is accepted that it was wrong to do that but no-one was hurt, no-one died, the OP is fully aware of the mistake she made.

This just isn't true. She's shown pedestrian safety is at the bottom of her concerns when driving and there are lots of scenarios where that could put people in danger.

I want her to think about why she got so overwhelmed (and address that if needed) and why she decided pedestrian safety was unimportant which she has continued to defend.

I drove up a wrong way street last year. In theory a pedestrian may not have noticed me as they didn’t think they needed to look from the direction I was coming. So they could have stepped out in front of me. What do you want me to do? Stop driving for the rest of my life? Should the OP stop driving forever? Honestly I’m just not sure what you want her to do? She’s admitted fault. She’ll likely be thinking about her decisions for a while and what she could do differently. People make mistakes. And actually often learn from them. I’m not sure why you think the OP is destined to repeat this mistake over and over forever.

She did not decide pedestrian safety was unimportant.. There were no pedestrians there, and if there had been, I rather doubt she would have just carried on driving at them. She got briefly confused. It happens. We've all made mistakes.

I can't believe anyone thinks this man was some sort of hero for harassing the OP. If the OP had been male a physical fight may well have followed, he clearly only did it as he knew he could get away with it. Sadly OP you did play into his hands with the "threat" but luckily the police could understand what happened.

Honestly hope this public spirited arsehole tries it on some 6 foot guy next time.

No she hasn't shown that at all. Seriously give it a rest with the whipping of the OP, not only are you making up scenarios you are now making unwarranted accusations about the OP.

You must be the exception that walks amongst us that never makes a mistake, is 100% perfect 100% of the time.

Bloody hell, based on your OP it sounded like you accidentally mounted the kerb and quickly drove back off.

Instead, you drove down a pedestrian pavement. That is awful and until I read that bit, I thought he was being OTT but sounds like it was justified. You don’t do that OP. You don’t just drive over pedestrian areas because you don’t know the way.

And then you went on to threaten him?

Yeah, YABU. Wish the police give you a ticket for it.

I can clearly imagine the situation you were in. I would have done the same re: pavement and indeed I’m sure many people have done the same. Provided you weren’t being unsafe, which you checked out first. That man is not the police. Most people would have rolled their eyes and let you get on with your day. He was way over the top.

I agree. I can’t believe how harsh people are being. She was clearly stuck and stressed and checked there was no pedestrian or traffic around. It’s far from ideal. But she is being very reflective about it. I hate it when everyone thinks they are perfect and can’t understand another human getting into difficulty. I am a careful and decent driver. I am courteous and aware of my surroundings. I get how she could have got into this situation. It’s not ideal but we all make mistakes.