Got into an argument and got reported to the police... what do you think?

[FairyonaFrog]

This happened last week and it has been on my mind. I would like some feedback as I'm too embarrassed to discuss it with family and friends.

I was driving to a smallish, local town for some shopping. I wanted to park in a side road that has limited access and I was looking for the way in. I got confused looking for the entry way and ended up committed a traffic offense in which I mounted and crossed the pavement (I could go into more detail on this, but it's a bit complicated to explain the exact layout of the road). I immediately realised my mistake and drove off the other side. No one was involved, no pedestrians, no other cars, but it was a stupid mistake and I felt a bit shaken afterwards.

A couple of minutes later, I was buying a parking ticket at the machine, and I was approached by a random bloke, who asked me, quite forcefully "was that just you, in that blue car, who drove across the pavement?". I was a bit taken aback, but answered honestly - I said, yes it was me, I made a stupid mistake, I was confused by the road layout.

As I walked back to my car, he followed me and continued to go on. He said "that could have been really dangerous", I said yes, sorry, repeated I had made a mistake, and explained again that I had been confused, and that I wasn't from the town and didn't visit often so was unfamiliar with the road layout. He then said "it's lucky no-one was injured", and I said that there was no-one there (I'm starting to get pretty irritated at this point). He then kept saying "I've never seen anything like it, it's the most unbelievable thing I've ever seen in my life". By now I'm really pissed off with him, and suggest that if that's the case maybe he should get a f*ing life (I'm not proud of myself). We then shortly arrived at my car, at which point he said "Well, you should be more careful", and I said as a parting shot (really cross now) "Well you should be more careful or you'll get punched in the face". (Double meaning here - that's how he was making me feel, but also, if he goes around accosting people like this, it's likely to happen in the future). At this point he walked off, possibly smirking.

I should also add that my elderly mum was in the car, waiting for me in the passenger seat and she told me afterwards that he had approached her and demanded if she was driving, before finding me at the parking machine.

Anyway, I drove home home later, pretty upset about the whole thing and fully aware that it wasn't my finest hour. About 2 hours later there's a ring on my doorbell and it's the police. The guy has reported me for threatening him. I think he must have given them the car registration and I got the impression a police car went past my house later and saw my car on the drive!

I was, of course, horrified. I told the police the whole story as above, and they listened, and were actually sympathetic to me (or seemed to be), and told me they would be taking things no further and closing the report down. They even seemed to agree that the guy is, in fact, inviting trouble by approaching people like this. I wonder if he is already known to them for being a constant complainer.

I can't believe it though. I feel now that I was deliberately goaded. I mean, what did he expect by harassing a stranger - if he was that worried about my driving he should have gone straight to the police. What was he hoping to achieve?

I also feel really ashamed of myself for losing my temper and rising to him (I'm actively trying to get less irritated with people in day to day life), and I feel pretty stupid for making the driving mistake in the first place.

I'd just be really interested to hear what people think about this situation. Was I out of order or was he?

😂

I think you are very lucky the police decided not to take this any further. Dangerous driving coupled with threatening behaviour isn't anything to be proud of.

Agree and as my DH always says to me, you never know how people will react in road rage (you know what I mean!) incidents-look at that young lad who was stabbed, he wasn’t even driving, his gf was. You shouldn’t have threatened him, that was a step too far.

OP are you middle aged or overweight or built like a brick shit house and when was the last time you punched someone? Did the police give you any reason to believe that the man that reported you felt threatened?

What a pathetic little man. Chances are he won't get pinched in the face because I can't see him acting that way to a bloke. I'd have been fucking raging about him harassing my elderly mother and would have said the same or worse.

Edit: I'm not gonna correct that typo because someone pinching him hard in the face would probably sort him right out.

Oh god, YA so NBU. Firstly, if you drive for enough years everyone makes a stupid driving mistake eventually. It's what you do next that counts. From what you say, panicking and reversing out would have been more dangerous, so proceeding carefully, given there were no pedestrians or other cars around was the right call. Secondly, there is no way he would have harangued you or your elderly mum if you'd been a man, so he's a total cunt just for that. Thirdly, it's completely obvious that what you said, while intemperate, was not an actual threat. In fact, it could more realistically be construed as friendly advice. Bonus points if you called him 'pal'. And fourthly, it sounds as though the police agree. So put it out of your head and enjoy the thought of his head exploding eventually from all the self-righteous rage he's clearly carrying around for reasons entirely unrelated to you or your driving.

Did you ask him "What has it got to do with you?" That is what I would have said to anyone following me around and haranguing me.

He sounds like a pillock but you were in the wrong driving across the pavement. There must have been an actual way into the car park.

He is a nosey busy body and I would have felt threatened too . It was probably the highlight of his day to bully two women , try to forget it .

FFS.

She threatened him.

The law or even social mores don't rest on 'well he can't have felt threatened because you as a woman can't threaten a man'.

Because what? Even if she did punch him in the face it wouldn't really hurt because he's a man? Or because he could punch her back harder?

You do realise threats and violence aren't judged on how much it might actually hurt?

Let me guess, you're one of those people who say DV can't happen to men from women because it wouldn't really hurt and they wouldn't really feel threatened?

A lot of people on this thread as usual, minimising aggression and violence from women because 'well they could just punch the woman and knock her out'.

The people usually who think boys and men can't be victims of DV, SA or rape because 'they could just fight back'.

She has stated that it would have been more dangerous to continue going onwards, maybe it was a one way system so safer to turn round.

Haven't RTFT, but the point when you said you were sorry and had misread the road layout was clearly the point for the man to back off. Clearly it would have been better not to say what you did, but I'm not surprised you lost your temper. The man sounds like someone who actively goes looking for arguments (though I strongly suspect that if it had been a burly man driving as you did, the man in the street would have said nothing at all).

Is this a joke? She drove dangerously, mounted a pavement and when called out on it threatened to punch someone in the face!!!
She’s very lucky the police didn’t take it further.

Obviously you made a mistake and you have discussed this with the police. It’s done and dusted. This man took it too far. I see bad stuff all of the time (people are such bad drivers and so rude and impatient). I could easily report things to the police but clearly like most of us I don’t (unless obviously it was serious). Forgive yourself and move on. Obviously the threat wasn’t a good idea but equally he pushed it too far. Be kind to yourself and move on.

You made a mistake. You accepted it, and apologised. He's an aggressive misogynistic bully. He would not have done what he did if you'd been male. Some poor woman has to live with that. Look on the bright side - you don't ever have to see him again.

People make mistakes when driving all the time. I’m assuming you checked/knew there was no one actually on the pavement when you drove on it, so no harm done.

He had no business chasing you down to admonish you, bet he wouldn’t have dared if it was a man, the cheeky fucker deserved all that was said to him and thankfully the police dealt with it sensibly.

Ffs, the drama! The police didn’t take it further for a reason.

So what? It's not like she did it on purpose? Yet he on the other hand continued to follow a vulnerable woman down the street who clearly wasn't interested in engaging until she felt forced to defend herself in order to get the pervert to go away. It's textbook sexual harassment and the pathetic bully should be in prison for making women feel unsafe on the street.

Disgusting to see fellow women defend him. Some people just can't see outside the patriarchy clearly.

Endangering people’s lives, ffs, she drove on a bit of pavement, she wasn’t blindfolded. 😂

Think you've gone in a bit deeper there than the actual scenario warranted.

What you did was incredibly dangerous. You could have done a 3 (or 33) point turn, presumably you would have said if it was a one way street, and driven out safely. It was only by sheer luck that there wasn't an extremely serious accident.
The bloke absolutely shouldn't have continued to confront you. You were also very wrong in the way you reacted to him.
I wonder if he got a real fright watching what you did and that's why he took it to the police. Most people would realise that aggressively confronting an elderly lady in the passenger seat of a car and then a lone female who, before you threatened him, was posing no danger to him whatsoever is completely unacceptable. So I wonder why he would report himself to the police in this instance when he was risking a counter accusation? Perhaps he thought your driving was so dangerous that he really had no choice.
We all make mistakes behind the wheel. If we are lucky we get away without tragic consequences. I guess in this instance all you can do is be thankful you got away with it and learn from the experience.

You were both out of order.

This is very similar to the thread last week that seemed to escalate very quickly, no disabled space free so parked over 2 spaces and told some kid his Dad was a cunt for parking too close. Oh and the one who had an altercation in a shop over taking food from the back. I don’t actually believe any of these threads FWIW.

How is it "incredibly dangerous"/risking an "extremely serious accident"? There were no pedestrians, no other cars, if there had been she would presumably not have driven into their path.

People are so dramatic on here.

Absolutely stunned if it’s true the police basically agreed with you he deserved it as he was a complainer. What the hell did I jist read. I really hope that’s your interpretation and very far from reality.

yes he was annoying but you don’t go around threatening to punch people who annoy you

And this would be one of the reasons why women are often not believed about genuine sexual harassment. Absolutely ridiculous to accuse him of something entirely different.