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Got into an argument and got reported to the police... what do you think?

319 replies

FairyonaFrog · 31/08/2026 13:00

This happened last week and it has been on my mind. I would like some feedback as I'm too embarrassed to discuss it with family and friends.

I was driving to a smallish, local town for some shopping. I wanted to park in a side road that has limited access and I was looking for the way in. I got confused looking for the entry way and ended up committed a traffic offense in which I mounted and crossed the pavement (I could go into more detail on this, but it's a bit complicated to explain the exact layout of the road). I immediately realised my mistake and drove off the other side. No one was involved, no pedestrians, no other cars, but it was a stupid mistake and I felt a bit shaken afterwards.

A couple of minutes later, I was buying a parking ticket at the machine, and I was approached by a random bloke, who asked me, quite forcefully "was that just you, in that blue car, who drove across the pavement?". I was a bit taken aback, but answered honestly - I said, yes it was me, I made a stupid mistake, I was confused by the road layout.

As I walked back to my car, he followed me and continued to go on. He said "that could have been really dangerous", I said yes, sorry, repeated I had made a mistake, and explained again that I had been confused, and that I wasn't from the town and didn't visit often so was unfamiliar with the road layout. He then said "it's lucky no-one was injured", and I said that there was no-one there (I'm starting to get pretty irritated at this point). He then kept saying "I've never seen anything like it, it's the most unbelievable thing I've ever seen in my life". By now I'm really pissed off with him, and suggest that if that's the case maybe he should get a f*ing life (I'm not proud of myself). We then shortly arrived at my car, at which point he said "Well, you should be more careful", and I said as a parting shot (really cross now) "Well you should be more careful or you'll get punched in the face". (Double meaning here - that's how he was making me feel, but also, if he goes around accosting people like this, it's likely to happen in the future). At this point he walked off, possibly smirking.

I should also add that my elderly mum was in the car, waiting for me in the passenger seat and she told me afterwards that he had approached her and demanded if she was driving, before finding me at the parking machine.

Anyway, I drove home home later, pretty upset about the whole thing and fully aware that it wasn't my finest hour. About 2 hours later there's a ring on my doorbell and it's the police. The guy has reported me for threatening him. I think he must have given them the car registration and I got the impression a police car went past my house later and saw my car on the drive!

I was, of course, horrified. I told the police the whole story as above, and they listened, and were actually sympathetic to me (or seemed to be), and told me they would be taking things no further and closing the report down. They even seemed to agree that the guy is, in fact, inviting trouble by approaching people like this. I wonder if he is already known to them for being a constant complainer.

I can't believe it though. I feel now that I was deliberately goaded. I mean, what did he expect by harassing a stranger - if he was that worried about my driving he should have gone straight to the police. What was he hoping to achieve?

I also feel really ashamed of myself for losing my temper and rising to him (I'm actively trying to get less irritated with people in day to day life), and I feel pretty stupid for making the driving mistake in the first place.

I'd just be really interested to hear what people think about this situation. Was I out of order or was he?

OP posts:
thepigeonofwisdom · 31/08/2026 14:13

Without knowing the road layout or exactly what you did, I did something that sounds similar in a city centre once. I hadn't realised that since my last visit there, a certain point in the road had been pedestrianised. The car in front of me obviously hadn't either. People make mistakes.

I wouldn't have lost my rag with him. I find the best tactic in that sort of situation is to be deadpan.

"I know, it was a mistake".

"Yes, I made a mistake"

"Yes, I know, it was a mistake"
Give them nothing to feed off and they tend to b*gger off.

And I would've been annoyed, and I do agree he was a busybody. If I had have seen someone make that sort of mistake I would feel quite sympathetic toward them, it can really shake you up once you realise that you're doing wrong on the road!

The 'someone could've been injured' thing, I am not sure with that statement. I mean, even if you do mount the pavement, you can't injure someone who isn't there and if you saw someone walking on a bit of pavement, road or whatever you're hardly going to drive straight into them regardless of whether you know the layout or not!

LaurieFairyCake · 31/08/2026 14:14

You didn’t threaten him, if you said it exactly as you said then that’s not a threat.

obv he wouldn’t have done it if you were a bloke

WerewolfOfLoudon · 31/08/2026 14:14

GinaandGin · 31/08/2026 14:07

He should have kept his nose out and stopped rhyming on and goading
He contributed to it

A decent person would have pointed out the error and asked if driver was lost/advised them how to properly get to their destination.

This man definitely didn't fall into the category of decent.

@FairyonaFrog tried polite engagement, that was her second mistake. Wankers pointedly admonishing female drivers are best ignored completely. There is a reason women used to keep their car key between their fingers.

Sam9769 · 31/08/2026 14:17

I think that this bloke was an absolute arse and was deliberately goading you.
You unfortunately reacted and he used that as an excuse to call the cops.
He knew full well that you and your mother were no threat to him.
I have to say that I am shocked that the cops rocked up on your doorstep two hours later (maybe he knew them) as it's often impossible to get them to attend a real emergency within two hours.
Take a valuable lesson from this incident. There are plenty of nutters out there.
When they approach you don't engage with them.
Chalk it up to experience and enjoy the rest of the bank holiday

shockthemonkey · 31/08/2026 14:18

DressOrSkirt · 31/08/2026 13:58

More dangerous for who? It would definitely be safer for pedestrians if you didn't drive across a pavement.

That may not be the case. In my town there’s a street where you are required to get out of parking spaces by driving forward across a pedestrian pavement (actually mounting and descending the other side) rather than reverse obliquely into the road. I have been stopped and reprimanded by the police for reversing out and they did actually say to me “what do you think this pavement is for?”. When I ventured “uh, pedestrians?” they got annoyed as they thought I was being cheeky.

OP did say the situation was more complicated than can be easily described verbally. I suspect she is not the first person to make that mistake, and going by how rattled she was by it (even before the unpleasant man accosted her) she won’t be doing it again.

OP, I agree that bastard would’ve left you alone had you been a large man. Provocative behaviour on his part.

Fortheloveoffrogs · 31/08/2026 14:19

Anyahyacinth · 31/08/2026 14:02

This ^^

The idea that someone can "goad" you to threats of violence is unacceptable. You literally had a vehicle to get into and go..ignoring him all the way.

Perhaps HIS elderly mother uses that pavement? Perhaps he thought if I'd been there moments earlier I'd have been injured.

Its funny how we can try and divert attention rather than just admit to ourselves we made mistakes...dangerous driving and threats of violence instead of "what could I have done differently?"

She has admitted her mistake. She feels awful about it. She admitted it to the man and the police. She had taken full accountability.

He goaded and goaded a woman, who probably looked flustered and distressed from the description of how she says she felt. She then snapped. It’s something called reactive abuse.

And I would bet my life savings that this man wouldn’t have harassed her like that if she’d been a man bigger than him!

PlacidPenelope · 31/08/2026 14:19

UncleColm · 31/08/2026 14:04

You were very unreasonable and I can't believe anyone thinks otherwise. I wish I could be a bit more like that man - you did something very unsafe and he called you on it.

I can understand that you got annoyed but you could have stayed quiet. And then you threatened to punch him!!!! He was probably concerned for your elderly mother - I would definitely be concerned in this scenario.

You don't think the OP is aware of what she did? You think she needed it pointing out to her? Calling her on it achieves what exactly? Does it change the fact she did it?

Like the man in this case you just want to shame her and make her grovel and feel worse than she already did, she knew she'd made a mistake, no-one was hurt, no-one died, I doubt the OP would ever or will ever repeat that mistake.

He was probably concerned for your elderly mother - I would definitely be concerned in this scenario. No he wasn't and neither are you, pull the other one it's got bells on it.

user1464187087 · 31/08/2026 14:21

DebbieSavage · 31/08/2026 13:10

U did nothing wrong hun I would have reported that man for sexual harassment he had no wright following u around like that hope ur OK ❤

Where is the sexual element in this?

AngelaP71 · 31/08/2026 14:21

Something like this happened to me years ago (though without threats of punching in the face), and it was a woman who approached me. It was an unfamiliar place for me and yes I had made a silly mistake and gone when I shouldn't have, but nothing happened. This woman approached my parked car, banged on the window and started haranguing me, threatening to report to police, etc. I acknowledged I'd made a mistake, I wasn't aggressive at all.

I had my phone in my hand (after having parked) and she then started claiming to have seen me using my phone while driving, which was totally untrue. I said "well, if you're just going to make stuff up". She marched off still threatening to report to police, I said fine, you do that. I was a bit shaken but never heard any more about it.

Minokee · 31/08/2026 14:22

He was an arsehole OP, think nothing of it.

In the same league as the guy who sat on my daughters bag when she had it on the seat next to her on the train when the rest of the train was almost empty. Had she been a 6ft guy he would not have done so but a 5ft teen girl, easy pickings.

Most of us have got mixed up in unfamiliar places and while most would claim not to have driven on a pavement plenty of us have got flustered in similar situations.

browneyes77 · 31/08/2026 14:23

CooperCopperCapper · 31/08/2026 14:06

Two things can be true at the same time which some posters seem to have difficulty grasping! The OP clearly knows her driving was poor and she’s lucky nothing happened to a pedestrian or another car as a result. However, it can also be true that the man was wrong to continue to remonstrate and then FOLLOW the OP back to her car to continue to have a go about something that she had already admitted to and the incident hadn’t ACTUALLY caused any harm. As other posters have said, I bet the man’s behaviour would have been markedly different if the OP had been a strapping male!

Exactly this!

WiddlinDiddlin · 31/08/2026 14:23

I'd have had some smart-mouthed and offensive replies for him as well!

You made a mistake, none of us is immune to a visit from the fuck-up fairy.

It wasn't this chaps job, nor place, to harangue you about it, if he thought there was a problem he should have just phoned the police and let them deal with it (and they would almost certainly have told him to go away, unless in mounting the pavement you ploughed through a group of pedestrians!).

I also do not think 'if you keep harassing strangers in public you might get a punch to the face one day' is in fact a threat to punch someone in the face, and very clearly the police agree, as they do take actual threats pretty seriously.

DandyFatball · 31/08/2026 14:25

Shortbreadel · 31/08/2026 14:10

I don't think you were out of order for what you said.
I think as women we are trying to be stronger and more confident and stop letting me treat us poorly. You admitted your mistake and apologised. He talked to you like crap. Why should you back down and just take it. You stood your ground, good for you. He was in the wrong for being threatening towards you.

I think as women we can do that, without acting like the kind of men we complain about.

Telling someone to get a fucking life and suggesting they should be punched in the face is not being stronger and confident, it's being aggressive and threatening.

Lots of women saying you weren't out of order OP, I'd have said worse and wishing violence on someone of any sex is not okay.

It certainly shouldn't be celebrated.

If he'd sworn at OP or threatened her, MN would be up in arms making all kinds of assumptions but the excuses OP has made are exactly the kind that aggressive and violent men would make 'I'm not proud of myself but..she pushed me to my limit, I said sorry but she wouldn't let it go, I tried to walk away but she kept on'.

If this was piston heads or whatever male forum and a bunch of blokes were saying 'well you were as bad as each other, can't say I blame you mate, i'd have said worse, bet she wouldn't talk to a woman like that, she only did it to wind you up cause you're a bloke because then when you get angry she can cry victim and say you frightened her' it would be completely unacceptable.

It should be here too.

Imaginary86 · 31/08/2026 14:25

He should have left you alone after you apologised the first time

Sam9769 · 31/08/2026 14:28

FairyonaFrog · 31/08/2026 13:27

I absolutely agree with this. I wish I had done that.

If you'd have lied it would have made the situation far worse. He knew it was you! He would have accused you of lying and it would have escalated. Just don't engage. "Sorry, I'm in a hurry" and walk off.

concertinacornflake · 31/08/2026 14:29

This is an example of how learning to stay calm saves a lot of trouble!

Sam9769 · 31/08/2026 14:30

concertinacornflake · 31/08/2026 14:29

This is an example of how learning to stay calm saves a lot of trouble!

Agreed ,even though this arse knew that she was no threat to him!

Armorlux · 31/08/2026 14:32

Have the people saying that OP could have knocked down a pedestrian, lost their ability to understand that there weren't any pedestrians to knock down at that moment? Had there been,OP would have stopped,just like when they walk into the road.

OP he was / is an arse with a fragile ego that you happened to prick. Such men can't bear a woman to stand up to them in any way, so he did the equivalent of running to mummy (police) to get you into trouble. Pathetic.
It didn't work and he ought to be told off for wasting their time.

Just move on and stop worrying about it.

IStillHearTheWaves · 31/08/2026 14:34

Datetime · 31/08/2026 14:10

It’s crazy how some posters will tie themselves in knots trying to defend OP just because he was an OP.

OP committed a crime by driving on the pavement.
She then used threatening language.

I think it was overkill to ring the police but he technically did nothing wrong by doing so.

Some posters just cannot be unbiased.

Compeltely agree.

Plenty of men get into arguments with each over dangerous driving. Maybe someone living in the area is sick of people driving like dicks and not giving a shit? No-one was hurt on this occasion and that was pure luck. I'd be annoyed if I'd seen that sort of driving on my street and might be inclined to say something too. I wouldn't care whether the driver was male or female.

Laurmolonlabe · 31/08/2026 14:36

It's very hard not to lose your temper in a situation like this- but never threaten, busybodies like that love reporting things and wasting police time, next time be exasperated by all means, but don't threaten.

QueenietheGreat · 31/08/2026 14:36

@FairyonaFrog
Man's a spiteful petty twat who likes to berate what he'd call "safe bets"
I'm not a driver but you've owned up to what happened
And even the police saw your point when you explained to them
My guess he's the sort that hectors constantly and if married could have a truly long-suffering wife ( although she may be as awful - eergh!)
Anyways,
I'm laying bets if your mother and self had been two muscle-bound male gym buddies
This would never have happened
The naff knob that he is!

DeterminedRat · 31/08/2026 14:38

Mumsnet is funny. OP mounts a path and drives over it rather than extend her journey and drive around the correct way then threatens to punch someone and still it's the man who is wrong 😭💀

If she ran over the man people would be saying 'It's not your fault he was aggressively standing there to goad you'.

Katemax82 · 31/08/2026 14:38

This sort of thing winds me up. Why do men feel it's their job to bollock women for making traffic violations?! My step dad will honk his horn if a car 3 cars ahead of him makes a mistake. Fuck em

DeterminedRat · 31/08/2026 14:41

Katemax82 · 31/08/2026 14:38

This sort of thing winds me up. Why do men feel it's their job to bollock women for making traffic violations?! My step dad will honk his horn if a car 3 cars ahead of him makes a mistake. Fuck em

How does he know that it's a woman driving badly 3 cars ahead of him?

Kokonimater · 31/08/2026 14:41

Well done you.
he was a bully.
I would’ve felt and done the same as you but wouldn’t have said I’d punch him in the face. I would’ve found a way to insult him.
iIgnore everyone here on their high horse.