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Got into an argument and got reported to the police... what do you think?

319 replies

FairyonaFrog · 31/08/2026 13:00

This happened last week and it has been on my mind. I would like some feedback as I'm too embarrassed to discuss it with family and friends.

I was driving to a smallish, local town for some shopping. I wanted to park in a side road that has limited access and I was looking for the way in. I got confused looking for the entry way and ended up committed a traffic offense in which I mounted and crossed the pavement (I could go into more detail on this, but it's a bit complicated to explain the exact layout of the road). I immediately realised my mistake and drove off the other side. No one was involved, no pedestrians, no other cars, but it was a stupid mistake and I felt a bit shaken afterwards.

A couple of minutes later, I was buying a parking ticket at the machine, and I was approached by a random bloke, who asked me, quite forcefully "was that just you, in that blue car, who drove across the pavement?". I was a bit taken aback, but answered honestly - I said, yes it was me, I made a stupid mistake, I was confused by the road layout.

As I walked back to my car, he followed me and continued to go on. He said "that could have been really dangerous", I said yes, sorry, repeated I had made a mistake, and explained again that I had been confused, and that I wasn't from the town and didn't visit often so was unfamiliar with the road layout. He then said "it's lucky no-one was injured", and I said that there was no-one there (I'm starting to get pretty irritated at this point). He then kept saying "I've never seen anything like it, it's the most unbelievable thing I've ever seen in my life". By now I'm really pissed off with him, and suggest that if that's the case maybe he should get a f*ing life (I'm not proud of myself). We then shortly arrived at my car, at which point he said "Well, you should be more careful", and I said as a parting shot (really cross now) "Well you should be more careful or you'll get punched in the face". (Double meaning here - that's how he was making me feel, but also, if he goes around accosting people like this, it's likely to happen in the future). At this point he walked off, possibly smirking.

I should also add that my elderly mum was in the car, waiting for me in the passenger seat and she told me afterwards that he had approached her and demanded if she was driving, before finding me at the parking machine.

Anyway, I drove home home later, pretty upset about the whole thing and fully aware that it wasn't my finest hour. About 2 hours later there's a ring on my doorbell and it's the police. The guy has reported me for threatening him. I think he must have given them the car registration and I got the impression a police car went past my house later and saw my car on the drive!

I was, of course, horrified. I told the police the whole story as above, and they listened, and were actually sympathetic to me (or seemed to be), and told me they would be taking things no further and closing the report down. They even seemed to agree that the guy is, in fact, inviting trouble by approaching people like this. I wonder if he is already known to them for being a constant complainer.

I can't believe it though. I feel now that I was deliberately goaded. I mean, what did he expect by harassing a stranger - if he was that worried about my driving he should have gone straight to the police. What was he hoping to achieve?

I also feel really ashamed of myself for losing my temper and rising to him (I'm actively trying to get less irritated with people in day to day life), and I feel pretty stupid for making the driving mistake in the first place.

I'd just be really interested to hear what people think about this situation. Was I out of order or was he?

OP posts:
NannyOf8Girls · 31/08/2026 13:57

I reckon if you'd been a strapping male he would not have tackled you like he did!

DressOrSkirt · 31/08/2026 13:58

FairyonaFrog · 31/08/2026 13:24

Thank you for the supportive posts. I do agree that he probably wouldn't have approached me if I was a man.

I also agree with the people saying I shouldn't have sworn or spoken threateningly (for what it's worth, I think it was obvious I wasn't actually going to hit him, they were words spoken in anger, we were already parting ways as I had arrived back at my car).

Just to clarify a couple of things - I wasn't moving towards him or making threatening actions, I was walking away. I do feel in hindsight that he was trying to make me say something like that, so that he could go and report me.

I do also know that I should not have driven on the pavement. It was not deliberate, I drove up what I thought was an access way, and immediately realised I should not have, but I had to carry on as it would have been more dangerous to reverse back into the road. But it was a really stupid mistake, I know that, and I agree that I was already feeling upset and probably defensive about it when he approached me.

More dangerous for who? It would definitely be safer for pedestrians if you didn't drive across a pavement.

mcmooberry · 31/08/2026 13:58

I would have told him to shut the FU for keeping on at me in the way he did after acknowledging the mistake/potential danger as you did. You have told us that it would have been more dangerous of you to keep going once you realised your mistake so surely he should also have realised that. Assume you were also checking around your car to ensure you didn't hit another car or a pedestrian as you crossed the pavement, it wasn't just pure luck that you didn't.
Hopefully you will have picked up some tips from this thread about what to say going forward, as I have.

Cardhey · 31/08/2026 14:00

How on earth did you manage to drive on a pavement??!! That’s worrying.

DandyFatball · 31/08/2026 14:00

DebbieSavage · 31/08/2026 13:48

Following a woman round when she dont want it is sexual harassment, she should av reported it to the police and got the man arrested. They're is no excuse in this day and age to be behaving like that.

No, it isn't sexual harassment. He didn't use any sexual words or gestures that would make it sexual.

He was an arse. So was OP. He wasn't guilty of anything criminal, OP could have been had the Police chosen to take it that way.

Supernintendochalmers1 · 31/08/2026 14:02

Some of these replies 🙄
He should have backed off once you explained you were confused and subsequently apologised. Instead, he carried on. What a strange man. What was he expecting exactly?

LakieLady · 31/08/2026 14:02

TinaWarriorPrincess · 31/08/2026 13:31

Following a woman and harassing her is also dangerous and illegal.

Absolutely.

A man following a lone woman for the purpose of haranguing her is a bully. He'd pointed out what the OP had done wrong, and should have left it at that. And I'm sure the OP wouldn't have driven over the pavement if there had been anyone on it.

Anyahyacinth · 31/08/2026 14:02

Medicalgrademusic · 31/08/2026 13:04

I think you were more out of order than him. I don't understand how you can accidentally drive over a pavement. If you can't work out how to get in somewhere because a pavement is in the way you don't just drive over it. What you said was a clear threat too, you basically threatened to punch him in the face.

I think you were lucky the police were sympathetic actually

This ^^

The idea that someone can "goad" you to threats of violence is unacceptable. You literally had a vehicle to get into and go..ignoring him all the way.

Perhaps HIS elderly mother uses that pavement? Perhaps he thought if I'd been there moments earlier I'd have been injured.

Its funny how we can try and divert attention rather than just admit to ourselves we made mistakes...dangerous driving and threats of violence instead of "what could I have done differently?"

UncleColm · 31/08/2026 14:04

You were very unreasonable and I can't believe anyone thinks otherwise. I wish I could be a bit more like that man - you did something very unsafe and he called you on it.

I can understand that you got annoyed but you could have stayed quiet. And then you threatened to punch him!!!! He was probably concerned for your elderly mother - I would definitely be concerned in this scenario.

Level1469 · 31/08/2026 14:04

I absolutely wouldn't have driven over the pavement.

But I think he was a sanctimonious preachy little twat, and I like your response.

Dollymylove · 31/08/2026 14:05

With hindsight would probably have been better just blanking him, walking to uour car and driving off.
You made a mistake uou didnt kill anyone. , although some of the PPs are acting as if you did.
As stated upthread, this tosser wouldnt have made a peep if you were a big burly bloke!!

Absolutelynot2 · 31/08/2026 14:05

He abused, harassed and frightened you, and the next time he approaches a woman with the intent of abusing, harassing and frightening her, it would be splendid if the universe ensured that he did receive a punch to the face.

Oh, and look out for men wearing meta glasses, they're approaching women to terrorise them for content on social media.

CooperCopperCapper · 31/08/2026 14:06

Two things can be true at the same time which some posters seem to have difficulty grasping! The OP clearly knows her driving was poor and she’s lucky nothing happened to a pedestrian or another car as a result. However, it can also be true that the man was wrong to continue to remonstrate and then FOLLOW the OP back to her car to continue to have a go about something that she had already admitted to and the incident hadn’t ACTUALLY caused any harm. As other posters have said, I bet the man’s behaviour would have been markedly different if the OP had been a strapping male!

HazelHedgehog · 31/08/2026 14:07

Don't think about. You made a mistake, no one was hurt. The guy is an arse with nothing else todo than search for an argument. What did he want you to do, turn back time and undo the driving error.

GinaandGin · 31/08/2026 14:07

He should have kept his nose out and stopped rhyming on and goading
He contributed to it

WerewolfOfLoudon · 31/08/2026 14:08

TheDivergentEnigma · 31/08/2026 13:42

They can be, I've seen it, a few times.

Some can hold their own very well.

I have worked in some interesting places with some interesting people!

I'm starting to think if more women threatened to punch men for their intimidating behaviour there would be less abused women. We'd have less threads on here asking if men laying hands on them is domestic abuse after years of verbal abuse.

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 31/08/2026 14:09

I can almost guarantee he wouldn’t have harassed you like that if you’d been a man.

Octavia64 · 31/08/2026 14:10

Road rage is a thing with males as well.

people do get out of cars and have a go at other men for driving badly so I wouldn’t assume he’d only do this to women.

SweetMotherofAbrahamLincoln · 31/08/2026 14:10

The most unbelievable thing he’d ever seen?! What a sheltered life he’s led, bless him - must be really hard for him being so utterly perfect and having to share the planet with us humans who make mistakes. I would absolutely have sworn at him. Don’t let him cloud your mind any further, there are arseholes EVERYWHERE.

Datetime · 31/08/2026 14:10

DandyFatball · 31/08/2026 14:00

No, it isn't sexual harassment. He didn't use any sexual words or gestures that would make it sexual.

He was an arse. So was OP. He wasn't guilty of anything criminal, OP could have been had the Police chosen to take it that way.

It’s crazy how some posters will tie themselves in knots trying to defend OP just because he was an OP.

OP committed a crime by driving on the pavement.
She then used threatening language.

I think it was overkill to ring the police but he technically did nothing wrong by doing so.

Some posters just cannot be unbiased.

aliasfrog · 31/08/2026 14:10

Yanbu. He was harassing you.

fumingrightnow1 · 31/08/2026 14:10

Its fine for him to say something it is not fine for him to follow you and keep saying it. You made a mistake just like every other person on the planet . You did well to control yourself as much as you did this would really of pissed me off and others are right if you had been a bloke he wouldn't have said a word.

Shortbreadel · 31/08/2026 14:10

I don't think you were out of order for what you said.
I think as women we are trying to be stronger and more confident and stop letting me treat us poorly. You admitted your mistake and apologised. He talked to you like crap. Why should you back down and just take it. You stood your ground, good for you. He was in the wrong for being threatening towards you.

Thegirlwhowent · 31/08/2026 14:12

DebbieSavage · 31/08/2026 13:10

U did nothing wrong hun I would have reported that man for sexual harassment he had no wright following u around like that hope ur OK ❤

That was not sexual harassment.

beeble347 · 31/08/2026 14:12

I'm sure he would have reacted just the same way if you were a 6' bloke... JK he's one of those arsehole men who saw and relished the opportunity to berate a woman in public. I think you were perfectly reasonable and apologising until he kept following you and harassing you. Funnily enough I've seen DH make worse innocent mistakes while driving - he's even had a man get out of his car as if to fight him, take one look at him and get back in.

Yes you made a mistake but you'd admitted it multiple times already. A real stretch to call the punched in the face thing a threat from you and I'm glad the officer saw sense.

I had a van driver do a 3 point turn ahead of me and follow me home and block me in twice shouting at me (once to my left and then he moved in front of my car so I couldn't continue to manoeuvre into my driveway until he left). I had been in the wrong lane on a roundabout and hadn't realised. I'd only passed my test a month prior and we'd just moved into our house near to this roundabout - it's a weird one where there are 3 lanes approaching the roundabout after you exit from a dual carriageway. I needed to go second exit straight over the roundabout so was in the middle of 3 lanes. Actually the left and middle lane are both for the first exit only and the right lane for all other exits.

Interestingly, DH who'd been driving at least 17 years when we moved in had been making the same mistake each time we'd driven that way together. So had his dad, and we watched my BIL do it recently when we were travelling home in separate cars. Poorly planned roundabout but despite me admitting "you could be right but this is not how I'd handle it" while this man was literally bright red, spitting angry and shouting at me, he carried on just the same.

I've also been shoulder barged out of nowhere by a large man in public (as a student on a very wide pavement with loads of room) - I think it's the same spectrum of man who does this or pushes woman down stairs or in front of tubes in public.