AIBU to wonder if very enthusiastic bouncey older people are putting it on?

[mullandwonder]

Do you think older really enthusiastic bouncy happy people are faking it on some level and miserable behind closed door?

I'm not talking about enthusiasm of youth but older people who are those sort of life and soul people that always seem to be cracking jokes and thrilled with everything. A bit like Alec Baldwin's character in Friends who sees lights in a traffic jam and starts going on about a thousand twinkling fairies or something.

I was wondering about it because over the years I've read a few biographies where people who were like this in public were revealed to be misearable depressives at home.

I suppose being that bouncy and childlike would be exhausting full time so maybe its not possible.

Anyone lived with anyone like this? Can you fake it? I read one thing where the person said they just took a decision to be happy. Is that realistic? can we all make ourselves very enthusiastic about life just by 'deciding'?

I don't know a single soul like that Alec Baldwin character in Friends, let alone 'older' people who are like this.

Weird thread.

I think a lot of people chose to be miserable bastards, definitely. Therefore, by definition, you can choose not to be a miserable bastard.

I did the very same in Sainsburys! A very kind young person sorted it out for me.

I'm like you @VimesandhisCardboardBootsi love a good wedding, I'm the last one to clear the dance floor and can talk to anybody. But I know to schedule a lot of down time afterwards. I was known to be social and went out a lot but had to cut back a lot. That for me was one of the hardest parts of motherhood, I was robbed of the downtime. I don't just mean physical rest I mean quiet time too. Every few months I disappear for about 24 hours so I can just be with myself and this powers up the other (better) part of me. I have never been fake, I love meeting new people and I love chatting and socialising but I simply don't have that much energy all the time.

I watched Joanna Lumley in Japan last week and found her enthusiasm simply charming. Not annoying at all, it can just be personality!

Alec Baldwin? Robin Williams? It's almost as if actors are actually acting when you see them on screen. Maybe they don't act when they are at home and not working.

I guess I can be a bit like that. It’s not a front, I genuinely get overexcited over little things and can be a bit puppy like. I can also get very ,very low and there’s a lot of dark, bad stuff in my background.I’m also pretty pragmatic and a realist , leaning towards pessimistic but also “ohhh look! Squirrel!”. It’s not a front, more like not permanently being in one state or the other.

Well I’ve cut back on seeing people a lot. Live in the country . AuADHD and been horribly ignored at times . So I used to have a ,in my eyes, friendly welcoming smile when out but now realise it was masking an anxious ‘what shall I say next ‘ worry - so don’t go out socialising so much and don’t bother with the smile -much happier and telaxed

I always have a secret day off shortly before Christmas.

Book a days holiday from work, don't tell DP or DD, and then "leave for work" at the normal time. Go for a nice walk, cooked breakfast in a greasy spoon, then off to Waterstones for a book, which I then sit in the pub and read all afternoon.

It's been a tradition for nearly 20 years at this point, and DP knows I do it, but never the exact date.

It's just 8 hours where I have absolutely no responsibilities, but can soak up the Christmas atmosphere. It sets me up for the following few weeks of days filled with people.

@VimesandhisCardboardBootsoh I love that plan! A secret day.

I haven't read the thread. But it's not an older person thing @mullandwonder You just think it is because you expect older people to fade into the background and stay in their lane.

Bouncy people (real or fake) come in all ages. If someone was an extravert personality at 30, they are likely to remain that way in their 70s. But for some reason you can't accept an old person being that way.

I’ve literally been banged up in a psychiatric hospital with severe depression. I cry everyday. I constantly feel wretched and I’ve had the sort of shit life you’d think I’d made up if I told you even half of it.

You’d never know it. I’m fucking hillarious and the life and soul of the party. I’d tell you about my next upcoming painful medical procedure with a smile and a joke and have you laughing along.

I used to do write comedy for a living.

I piss myself off to be honest. I do it because I’ve leaned that no one gives a shit. No one cares what I’m going through. So if I want the company of others, being happy is the only way and I’ve been doing it most of my life so I can’t turn it off.

Well I'm 57 and according to someone I work with I'm "irritatingly cheerful" I'm alive, I'm in pretty good health, I've got a lovely OH and kids and some great friends. Maybe I'm a bit too much but 90% of the time my positives outweigh any negatives. If I'm a bit bouncy it's genuine.

My mum is 71 happy positive full of fun... you shoukd take a leaf out of her book she definitely doesn't fake it.
Its called having a positive attitude regardless of life's hurdles you should try it .

I'm pretty sure these bouncy older people that you speak of, were also bouncy young people.

People age.

Ah you meant older as in me (46). I was naturally like this until life started beating me down a bit. So actually I don’t know if you can be after life getting at you which means I don’t know if people are naturally like it really!!

I'm mid 50s. And quite possibly more enthusiastic and bouncy now than any time since junior school!

I also notice that random people out and about friendlier to me now. I think I look smilier and more relaxed.

I'm not ultra - bouncy though. So it depends what you mean.

My BF can be positive in pretty much any situation. He said years ago he had a phase when he was really fed up with life and friend basically told him to snap out of it, that he wasn't helping himself. So he decided from that say on to think positively. He says he just took the decision to be happy.

Which is a worry, because In my life I've known two people take their own life and they were both he life and soul. Absolutely no one who only knew them casually would have ever known how much they struggled.

Yes, when I tried to take my life, people were shocked because I am “always so happy”.

It’s just a front. I tried so many times in the past to tell people how bad I felt. People don’t like it, they either don’t know what to say or don’t care, either way, they pull away and it’s so lonely. So you pretend to be happy, no one cares how you actually feel.

Wow I’ve never related to a post more!