AIBU to wonder if very enthusiastic bouncey older people are putting it on?

[mullandwonder]

Do you think older really enthusiastic bouncy happy people are faking it on some level and miserable behind closed door?

I'm not talking about enthusiasm of youth but older people who are those sort of life and soul people that always seem to be cracking jokes and thrilled with everything. A bit like Alec Baldwin's character in Friends who sees lights in a traffic jam and starts going on about a thousand twinkling fairies or something.

I was wondering about it because over the years I've read a few biographies where people who were like this in public were revealed to be misearable depressives at home.

I suppose being that bouncy and childlike would be exhausting full time so maybe its not possible.

Anyone lived with anyone like this? Can you fake it? I read one thing where the person said they just took a decision to be happy. Is that realistic? can we all make ourselves very enthusiastic about life just by 'deciding'?

Alec Baldwin was like Santa Claus on Prozac at Disneyland getting laid.

OP still not clarified who she considers an oldie? Another ageist thread then.

I think people learn to compartmentalise. I have been dealing with one of the most stressful situations in one area of my life for the last few months, like close to a nervous breakdown. In that time I’ve still managed to go to parties, socialise, exercise, go on holiday and generally do joyful things.

I’m in my mid 70s, very active and loving life. I’m very fortunate never to have had any significant mental health problems and although I’ve had my fair share of challenges over the years I can honestly say I’m pretty happy.

If they are depressed, and thats a big if, its part of recommended beahvioural treatment in any case to 'fake it' because you then condition yourself, your behaviour, your emotions, your mind to see positivity, to start to feel it, believe it and spread it around. The happier and cheerier you are, the more you get that reflected back at you

I'm older and choose to be happy.
You'd never know I have a dead son. So yes I'm probably one of those annoying aging fuckers OP dislikes.

some people are just very upbeat, happy people. My aunt was one. she died in her late 90s and was the happiest cheekiest woman I've ever known. So full of fun.

My husband is only in his 60s so not old old but he is also a very happy person. chuckles away all the time. I don't expect him to change any time soon.

I'm a grumpy old cow myself so it's nice that one of us is chirpy :D

Nope, they've been bouncy all their lives and aren't going to change their personality just because older!

My neighbour is 90, wears denim short shorts and leopard print trainers, always wears sparkly blue eyeshadow and has long hair. She’s also as fit as a flea, wickedly funny and is excellent company! We walk our dogs together sometimes and our 60-year age gap feels like nothing at all because she is so much fun to be around.

Are you coming back OP or do you just want everyone else to discuss this?

My 84 year old mother is enthusiastic and energetic. She always has been. It can be a it exhausting tbh. It isn't fake, she isn't pretending.

Why would they? And even if they did, why would ‘older’ people put it on more than anyone else!? Just weird.

I believe studies have shown that people in their 50s-70s generally report being happier than younger age groups, though in 80s it tends to decline due to ill health.

How many “older” people have you met who are like this character in Friends?

It sounds utterly bizarre as does your question.

Should older people be quietly pottering about visiting garden centres and having cream teas?

Wait a minute, that is exactly how I like to spend my time …

Although I do mix in a bit of politics, a bit of caring, a lot of reading and research and a spot of carriage driving too.

Is that acceptable older person behaviour OP?

I would hate to offend de youf.

I actually find there are more happy, funny, bouncy older people than younger people. Even just on my morning bus, all the older people are so smiley and chatting together.

I don't think this is a genuine thread, but yes.
Now I am in my 50s, I have learnt the importance of grabbing small joys.

I was using the word older as a shorthand to really mean settled adulthood - to make it clear that I wasn't talking about the enthusiasm of youth that most children and young people have. I meant 'older' in the sense of not in your early twenties but not 'old' in the sense of in your 90s.

I really meant any adult past that stage of life naiviety. Age precisely varies I guess but at any point when people have had enough life experience and difficulties that any youthful enthusiasm is gone and replaced by a more world weary sense of realism.

How many “older” people have you met who are like this character in Friends?
It sounds utterly bizarre as does your question.

I've met a few but they are mostly in the entertainment/performance industry.
Robin Williams and Peter Sellers are examples of the personality types I'm thinking about. Jim Carey, Jeff Goldblum that sort of almost childlike sense of play. The kind of people who you would imagine still jump up and down on a bed in their 50s just for fun.

@Ratherhaveacupofteaandabiscuit I think you've misunderstood my question. It was more - take Robin Williams as an example. Not the best example admittedly but what I am getting at. He presented publicly in interviews as great fun, hilarious, enthusiastic about everything, funny and joyful but he was obviously behind closed doors a very different and troubled person.

That was really what I was getting at - when you have that extreme happy joyful bouncy personality in adults, is it more likely to be a front?

I think your question should be: are entertainers and performers more enthusiastic and bouncy than other people? The answer is: yes.

Why the ageist framing of this question? "The enthusiasm of youth" is just as likely to be a mask for depression and anxiety. People are extrovert, introvert, and all things in between, whatever their age.

Is it not just extremes of feeling and personality?

Don't think Parker from friends was meant to be much older than the Friends were?
We all put on an act to extent. Older people are more likely to have serious, or minor, health issues that might understandably make them less bouncy and happy than younger people, but it's not always the case-some older ones are superfit, and some younger ones have problems.
Some think more (not all!) older people were taught to be polite and consider the feelings of others, before phrases about protecting your peace and only caring about yourself became popular, but I find people of all ages can act in different ways.

What's your issue exactly?

DH can be insufferably bouncy and silly enthusiastic at times. I've only recently managed to persuade him that cartwheels aren't such a great idea how he's over 70.

I find it quite sad that some people can never openly be real with people they know well - show pain or anguish - feel they always have to have the "jolly" mask. I can only think they feel they would be a burden or shunned if they admitted sometimes they aren't happy and ask for help.

Yes. It is our sacred duty.