AIBU to wonder if very enthusiastic bouncey older people are putting it on?

[mullandwonder]

Do you think older really enthusiastic bouncy happy people are faking it on some level and miserable behind closed door?

I'm not talking about enthusiasm of youth but older people who are those sort of life and soul people that always seem to be cracking jokes and thrilled with everything. A bit like Alec Baldwin's character in Friends who sees lights in a traffic jam and starts going on about a thousand twinkling fairies or something.

I was wondering about it because over the years I've read a few biographies where people who were like this in public were revealed to be misearable depressives at home.

I suppose being that bouncy and childlike would be exhausting full time so maybe its not possible.

Anyone lived with anyone like this? Can you fake it? I read one thing where the person said they just took a decision to be happy. Is that realistic? can we all make ourselves very enthusiastic about life just by 'deciding'?

What’s your definition of ‘older’?

Yeah we are all deep down miserable fuckers.

What a strange way of looking at 'older' people. They are allowed to be bouncy and happy. Or do you think they should all be miserable?

I think there are people who are genuinely like that. I also think there are some fakers who are miserable. You spend enough time around them and you will find out.

I never trust those endlessly over enthusiastic types no matter what age. They’re either fake or they’re over compensating.

Unless they are those upper class aristo “rah” types. Then they probably are just riffing off their wealth and privilege. Fair play.

I can be a bit like the Alex Baldwin character.

I have chronic depression and if my mind wanders my thoughts can get very dark.

I have to constantly distract myself with, “Oooo, I love her dress!” “Awwww, a squirrel!” and “What a lovely thatched cottage.

Sometimes I say it out loud.

Are some people who seem bouncy and happy in public actually putting it on? Yes, I'm sure, many.

Is this experience specific to, or more common for, older people (however we are defining that)? I doubt it. Don't have any evidence of it at all.

I wonder whether your perspective is skewed by the fact that older people are more likely be the ones who get interviewed about / write about their lives ar a time when they can be candid about how they really feel (ie their career is either winding down anyway or is so well-established that they don't have to pretend anymore).

I also think that it isn't always as simple as faking it. Some people just have periods of sharply different mood - whether that is fuelled by mental health, drug use, the rollercoaster of fame or whatever. It doesn't always mean that the energetic joyful half is somehow 'all fake' and the miserable half is somehow 'all real'.

Edited as posted too soon!

Older people like Alec Baldwin in friends?
He was 44!

I don’t know the Alec Baldwin character but I find over enthusiastic people a pain in the arse whatever age they are. But yes, I decide to be happy because what’s the point of moaning and worrying? Doesn’t solve anything and nobody gives a fuck so I just get on with it.

Robin Williams?

It's not unusual for very sad people to be very cheerful and funny. Whether you think of this as "putting it on" or not depends on how you view it, I guess. It suggests something fake or insincere but I don't think it is (again, Robin Williams). Humour is a defence against despair so it makes sense for despairing people to use it, partly to cope and partly to try to prevent despair from reaching others. A lot of humour is based around someone's pain, real or fictional, so where there's pain, there's comic potential. The real life crying clown.

And of course, sometimes even the best defence isn't enough and the pain can simply be too overwhelming. Did I mention Robin Williams?

Some people will genuinely have a zest for life…others will be like Robin Williams. Some plaster on a smile to cover tears, but I don’t know if you’d be able to work out which is which

I'd also like to know the answer to this.

Or they really are just happy with what they have

Depends on ‘older’.

I am enthusiastic, upbeat, positive and fun. And I go at a million miles an hour. It’s not put on it’s ADHD and a view that most people are good and it’s worthwhile to be kind and positive. I have my moments of complaining but on the whole I really am happy. People have said my personality is infectious and I have a lot of friends so no I don’t think it’s “put on”

BTW, I’m 44. The same age as Alec Baldwin was in that episode…

I’m nearly 80 and have never met anyone who behaves like that.

I'm happy. It makes me mostly pretty energetic & upbeat, to the extent that if im under the weather or having an off day people notice immediately.

I read one thing where the person said they just took a decision to be happy

This. I am pretty positive. I look for the good in a situation, keep things in perspective, don't dwell over much on my feelings etc. I mean theres always someone got it worse right? My grandad always taught me to appreciate simple things - good health, time with family, a home cooked meal, rain on the garden, a walk in the sun. Life is for living.

(Edited to say im not "older". Im 40... my mum is in her 70s though and she's the same despite not having it easy in life.)

Opposite here. I have all the joy bounce and enthusiasm of a child. But as an older person consider it my duty to go round with a face like a slapped arse, spreading misery 7 ways till Sunday to give young people something else to hate me for.

High five!

I’m 67, and I guess I could be called “bouncy”. Not faking it at all. I have to deal with some physical things that I didn’t have to cope with when I was younger. So what? I enjoy people. I’m interested in them. I like to learn new things. I enjoy spending time with people who are younger than me. They offer interesting insights. Plus, they’re just fun. Much of the time happiness is a choice. What will you decide to focus on? I’m too old to perform happy or bouncy for other people. It’s much easier to simply be happy and bouncy.

Someone once told me, “Happy people don’t need to be funny. The rest of us do.”

I fake it.

You are always right on the.money! 😂

Anyway, my 81 yr old mum is usually always cheery. She's not rich
Makes her very popular amongst family and friends. The grandkids actively.seek her out.

😆 🤣