AIBU to wonder if very enthusiastic bouncey older people are putting it on?

[mullandwonder]

Do you think older really enthusiastic bouncy happy people are faking it on some level and miserable behind closed door?

I'm not talking about enthusiasm of youth but older people who are those sort of life and soul people that always seem to be cracking jokes and thrilled with everything. A bit like Alec Baldwin's character in Friends who sees lights in a traffic jam and starts going on about a thousand twinkling fairies or something.

I was wondering about it because over the years I've read a few biographies where people who were like this in public were revealed to be misearable depressives at home.

I suppose being that bouncy and childlike would be exhausting full time so maybe its not possible.

Anyone lived with anyone like this? Can you fake it? I read one thing where the person said they just took a decision to be happy. Is that realistic? can we all make ourselves very enthusiastic about life just by 'deciding'?

I'm 70 and very bouncy and enthusiastic. Bad things happen to me sometimes but I soon bounce back. Mostly when things haven't gone my way I see the funny side of it. I find joy in simple things. This morning my friend described watching the antics of the hedgehogs in her garden. Magic. I'm a problem solver and avoid worrying.

I'm older and I don't like feeling miserable so I try to be happy and grateful for the good things in life. What do you want, OP? Older people to be miserable because they're older?

I work in a retirement home and one of the greatest joys of it is seeing how much they love whatever is going on around them. Today I had a lovely chat about vegetables and another chat about how the rain had made the grass green again. Our residents are between 85 and 102, and I know that their mentality and outlook on life is so different to anyone much younger. They do generally seem happier, maybe even sheltered, but overall they find happiness in the little things.

I don't know. I'm a happy enthusiastic person in my 60s but not at all bouncy and I keep it to myself. So not the life and soul of the party. Hate constantly smiley people actually. But really enjoy my life, full of energy. Does that count?

this really made me laugh!

You have to sign up to agree to do it othersise they take your state pension away.....not the public one, the secret one that keeps all us oldies in the lap of luxury that I am not supposed to be talking abou..............

I fear this is me. Tears of a clown spring to mind... I'm always friendly, smiley, always try to make other people laugh or lighten their load but the reality is my own mind is my worst enemy, it can take me to some pretty dark places. It's a constant struggle to not give into it.

Overly enthusiastic people are annoying to me to be honest and yes I suspect most of them have extreme lows, maybe not depression but energy slumps because it simply isn't possible to be like that all the time. I don't think its necessarily put on intentionally, some people get very energised socially. Some also think this is what others want from them. I find overly enthusiastic young people equally annoying too. I don't think the age element is really a big factor.

I am happy and enthusiastic lots of the time. I very rarely dwell on the shite that life keeps throwing at me (chronic illnesses, death, etc) . It's not a front. Of course I have times where I feel like rubbish but can shake it off usually quite fast. I don't hold grudges get sulky or get moody with anyone for long.
I have many, many friends and am very socialble so get to avoid the mardy fuckers that suck joy out of life.

People in general ‘perform’. I don’t think older people do this more than any other age group. In fact I’d say they do it way less. So those happy ones are probably actually happy!

Everyone is different. Some people genuinely have a more positive approach to life and just get on with things.

When was Alec Baldwin in Friends?

I have a relative who is permanently miserable, so I don’t want to be like that and sometimes find myself stuck in a bit of a Pollyanna loop of ‘I will find the joy in this thing even if it fucking kills me’ which might feel a bit fake to others?

But actually, ‘fake it till you make it’ works, when I’m around other people complaining I genuinely can find the goodness in things most of the time, and I don’t feel like I’m trying particularly, I just find if I step back (not literally) and look at it from a different angle, the joy is there as clear as day.

Some people are competitively miserable though, and to them, that is their joy.

We just watched a couple at the campsite do this. They were arguing and looked miserable then this woman came over to talk vans and they suddenly put on a whole different persona. Once she left they reverted back. It was very interesting.

I don't see the benefit of toxic positivity, which seems to be the stance of some posters, all this "ooo there's always someone worse off than you, look on the bright side" - just invalidating other people's feelings and experiences. It's as if "choosing" to be happy gives you the moral high ground. Sometimes things are shit - that doesn't mean that the sunset isn't beautiful or that you don't take pleasure from seeing your DC, but things can still be shit and difficult to cope with.

@mullandwonder

Perhaps you should consider that our 'life experience' is what makes us bouncy and enthusiastic. We have seen sadness and had 'bad things' happen in our lives but we have survived them. And we have learnt to appreciate the good things, the small joys, and the fact that we are still here and we're going to enjoy every damned minute of the rest of our lives.

By God, that last makes me so happy that I think I'm going to go out and skip up and down the street with a giddy smile and sing "Joy to the World" (the bullfrog one, not the Jesus one) at the top of my lungs. Is that enthusiastic and bouncy enough for ya?

I do my bit by going to the shops at the weekend, pushing my supermarket trolley into shelves and taking ages to find my credit card at the checkout.

I enjoy going to the supermarket between 12 and 2pm when workers are popping in quickly to get their sandwich/ salad whatever. Then I engage the till assistant in a lengthy and rambling dialogue about trivia while turning out my entire purse for all the vouchers I’ve saved. I’m just so upbeat and bubbly that they love me going to their till so we can have a nice chat.

I'm what you might describe as 'older' and find this sort of person really irritating. I know a few.

I also know a few younger people who are like this.

It tends to be more obvious in older people who are entertaining preschool age grandchildren at the park. Loud, giddy, everything is SUPER!! WOW!!

Even other toddlers at the park exchange eyerolls.

Solidarity sisters. I contribute to the cause by taking ages talking to the receptionist at the dr surgery and standing in shop doorways searching my handbag.

That was really what I was getting at - when you have that extreme happy joyful bouncy personality in adults, is it more likely to be a front?

I'm so glad I don't live in your narrow-minded suburban bigoted world. You're describing people with the rare quality of play & creativity.

Just go back to your boring life. There's nothing to bother you in that. You've obviously not had a creative original thought in your life.

I don't think it's just older people.

Yes, everyone over 45 is completely miserable and grumpy.

Oh we need the LOL response back!

Loving your work 🤣

The OP has made me really angry. So thank you sisters, for lightening up the thread and me