To dump new BF over funny sex noises

[Anapplepieaday]

I type this as I luxuriate in bed on a Saturday morning. The kids are at their dad's, I am at home, and my new man of a couple of months standing has recently left.
He is a lovely man. Well, no massive red flags at this stage anyway. But his sex noises give me the ick and it is honestly making me wonder whether I can carry it on!
I know that's shallow but he makes this kind of repeated "Ooooh yeah, Ooooh yeah, Ooooh yeah' thing at the end in exactly the same way each time, and now I know it's coming (if you know what I mean) I struggle not to laugh or want to clamp my legs shut and crawl into a hole.
I know it's not his fault and would be the worst reason I've ever broken up with anyone. And it would be a waste of an otherwise nice thing we have, but is it even possible to change? Is it like how you sound when you sneeze?!
This morning I almost said something, but what can I say?!

The West Country didn't feature it was definitely pirate noises

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/115727-pirate-noises-during-sex

‘The town crier’ has ended me 😂

I think if you really, really liked this guy it wouldn't bother you this much. So the fact that you're thinking about ending things is maybe a sign that you're just not that into him? In which case, better to break up with him now before things get serious.

Ah OP, you’ve got to tell him. You sound like you’ve got a good sense of humour, I’m sure the two of you could have a laugh over it. It would be a shame to break up over this though.

Oh no, there’s nothing worse than when their appreciative noises turn you off. Having said that, I can’t abide a silent shagger either.

At least he's not saying something like "Back of the net!" 🤔😂 (imagine Alan Partridge)

My DP is quite noisy, at first I found it weird as previous DPs have been less vocal, but now I’m used to it I like it - except when he makes all his usual noises and then says “oh no, sorry” at the end. Puts a dampener on it!

Oh I thought "ooh arr" as opposed to "shiver me timbers you scurvy dog". 😄 .

Can you nominate a thread for classics based off the original post alone?

Genuine LOL 😂😂😂😂

Tell him you have a thing for Toby jugs and buy him the town crier outfit

😂😂
Yeah just tell him OP. Some people just don’t realise

🤣🤣🤣

This You're obviously not that into him if you have the ick already.

I would agree he's seen it somewhere and thinks it's the done thing. Is he quite young or not had many partners?

Oh god I once dated a bloke who had the most whiniest noise when he came, proper gave me the ick! Current dp is noisy but in a very guttural, animalistic way and I love it! Sexual chemistry has to be good for me otherwise I just can’t 🙈

If you really liked him and saw a future this wouldn’t put you off. The ick is a sign that you’re not that into it really. Move on !

It's funny what dampens the mood for us. I was with a guy who was silent throughout. I didn't want a running commentary, or vulgar sex talk, but a few little noises just to show he was enjoying himself would have been ok. He'd do a little, low volume grunt at the end and that was it.

the town cryer 😂😂😂

Get him to wear a powdered wig and ring a hand bell while he's on the job.

Could you just very ostentatiously put ear plugs in the moment he takes his pants off?

Austin Powers 'oohh yeat baby' or porn trained ? Would put me right off, I would see Austin or Alan Partridge in my head. Bleugh, I need to bleach my brain now.

An offer of battered cod and large chips?

Oh My God, Yes, Yes, YES

Sitting down and having the first taste?

Ohhhhh. That's soo goood. Oh, my god, I needed that.

NB. This may not be beneficial for the relationship, however.

So you say "yeah, yeah" and he says "ooh yeah, ooh yeah"? I can't see how he is any more off-putting than you. You both sound a bit Austin Powers.

I presume that would be what Partridge would say at the end.

Tell him it turns you the quieter a man is when he comes