To dump new BF over funny sex noises

[Anapplepieaday]

I type this as I luxuriate in bed on a Saturday morning. The kids are at their dad's, I am at home, and my new man of a couple of months standing has recently left.
He is a lovely man. Well, no massive red flags at this stage anyway. But his sex noises give me the ick and it is honestly making me wonder whether I can carry it on!
I know that's shallow but he makes this kind of repeated "Ooooh yeah, Ooooh yeah, Ooooh yeah' thing at the end in exactly the same way each time, and now I know it's coming (if you know what I mean) I struggle not to laugh or want to clamp my legs shut and crawl into a hole.
I know it's not his fault and would be the worst reason I've ever broken up with anyone. And it would be a waste of an otherwise nice thing we have, but is it even possible to change? Is it like how you sound when you sneeze?!
This morning I almost said something, but what can I say?!

Then just as he's getting to the end...
"Will you pay for us to go to the Maldives?"
"Oooh yeah!"

Then afterwards I would remind him of his solemn promise.

This and Alan Partridge have ended me 😂

Just be honest and tell him.

Are you bonking the Churchill Insurance dog?
Oh YES!!

Ooh no. There are trivial reasons to dump someone. This is not one of them.

That gave me the ick just reading that. Tell him it’s a turn off

Echo time. Tiny spooky voice, start a split second before he finishes what he's saying, trail it off at the end.

This would bring me more joy than any actual sex. Brilliant idea.

I think you need to have a word with him as otherwise I feel like the whole act you are just going to be thinking about when those words are coming and its going to become something you dont enjoy. Maybe when hes about to say it, just put your hand over his mouth in the moment lol

Try going on top, and use a pillow as a muffler.

I suppose it is better than the thread posted on here years ago where the OP's other half made pirate noises during sex😆If it gives you the ick @Anapplepieaday there is really no getting over that.

Going against the grain but I wouldn’t say anything.

I’d hate a guy to judge the faces I make or noises I make.

There are genuinely things you can’t help.

I am always turned on by knowing a man’s tell tale signs but I’ve never been with someone where those signs are a turn off.

If you really can’t get past it then you’re going to have to end it but I definitely wouldn’t say why.

Pirate noises? He might just be from the westcountry.

Or treat it like a call and response channelling a Swiss 80s electronic duo?

BF “oooh yeah”
You “The moon, beautiful”

Oh yeah

Oh lordy, I think that would make me laugh. Especially after reading this thread! I'm not wanting to take a prurient interest in your sex life, but is it the volume? I'm assuming it's not under his breath. You say 'sex noises ' in your thread title, so is he saying it in a weird way (is there a good way?!)? Or making other noises. Hmmm I think you may have to say something, but I don't know how!

I suppose it's better than a friend's ex who would shout YEEHAW at the crucial moment.

And no, he wasn't a cowboy, he was from Brighton 😂

It isn't massively loud but it's definitely not under his breath. I guess it's normal conversational volume.
He doesn't say it in a weird way like in a funny accent or whatever. But saying Ooooh yeah repeatedly in any form is weird! He makes no other unusual noises, just the Ooooh yeahs and then the traditional grunt!

I agree. If you say something its the end of your relationship as he'll never be able to relax in bed again. It also sounds pretty normal so im not sure what the problem is, unless he's literally shouting at the top of his voice. Is it the volume thats the problem?

I think if I otherwise liked him I'd have to say something first rather than leap to ending it immediately.

Could you try the tack that the neighbours have reported hearing him and this has made you uncomfortable?

If not it would have to me a discussion done as diplomatically as possible - I'd probably just ask if he is aware he is quite loud and say that I don't think there's anything wrong with that per se but I find it distracting and it takes me out of the moment.

If he didn't tone it down or stop I would end it though, it would give me the ick. Sex is so much better when it is not performative.

the traditional grunt

😂😂

This wouldn't bother me. It's better than a silent partner when you can't tell if he's enjoying it or not. I much prefer a vocal man.

That made me laugh too 😆

I agree.

I’m struggling to see what the issue is unless he’s being really loud or putting on a silly voice.

I personally would like this and be saying words of encouragement knowing that he was enjoying himself.

I’m really surprised by the responses but perhaps it’s simply because he’s a man.

That's me done

I presumed it was a universal love language?