Family holiday - fed up already and not even got there yet!

[Stressedmumma88]

Going on holiday with dh and dc (8 and 5)

Dh is in a strop as i have had to bring my work laptop as a back up as a couple of things in my role that the person who is covering may not be able to do due to some family things, person is a close friend of mine so have taken it purely in case I need to do it (would be an hour max) I shouldn't need to and if i do have agreed with line manager I get a days holiday back

Then we both worked half days today, I've wfh and logged on early to finish at 11, also finished packing the cases, sorted the kids bags out, sorted the pets out, done the bins a load of other stuff. Dh got home from his half way (can't wfh) and has moaned that I've done nothing all day as he spent 20 minutes trying to sort thr hive out and had to carry 2 cases down the stairs. We both loaded the car.

Now on a train and all he's done is said how I don't travel well (I travel for my role a lot so know what I am doing!) And that I'm lazy.

Would rather be at work

Wow. I'd be getting off at the next stop and leaving him to it.

Trying to work a half day and then leave on holiday is universally a complete nightmare.

It leaves you too stretched. One thing if you only have to think about yourself - but if also needing to get everyone to the right place, it’s massively stressful.

Is he always like this or is it a once off/out of character ? I’d be having a quick chat and tell him to stop or you’ll go home and leave him to it. Did you pack for him or did he do it himself ?

This sounds like a lot of people I know!

I have always suggested an app called Equal House to them. My family use it as well so can't recommend it enough

He doesn't travel well but won't admit it

I have been away with the kids by myself a few times and it's been so easy

The moaning about the share of work is a usual thing

He’s sounds like a peach! Is he always like this or just a one off? Just wondering if he suffers with travel anxiety or something?

I'd be telling him straight that if he thinks that

Packing for yourself
Packing for the kids
Sorting the pets
Working while wrangling overexcited kids all morning
Tidying and emptying bins
Stripping beds/ sorting laundry/ hoovering (or whatever else you did)

as well as no doubt being in charge of organizing & booking the holiday, making sure everyones passport is up to date etc

is bloody 'being lazy', then you simply can't wait until you arrive at your destination and fuck off for a few hours to let him actually DO something ffs!!!

Ignore him! Where you off too?

I'd be asking him just wtf is so difficult about sorting hive, and carrying packed & ready suitcases to the bloody car, because that's ALL he fucking did !

I bet you actually packed his case too, didn't you OP???🙄

The hive, a first I thought that was a bee hive that you had but now I’m thinking it’s the heating system?

either way he’s done nothing compared to you.

i hate going away as all this packing, booking, organising falls down to me and the stress of it all makes me hate holidays.

sounds like he could have travel anxiety and that’s making him unreasonable

Why not just knock off on Friday, casually get yourselves organised over the weekend, then head off today after a nice brunch?

A half day of work before finishing off the packing was always going to be a shitty way to start.

YABU because the plan was silly.

What is the hive?

Are you the higher earner by any chance or have better working hours than him ?

Hive that controls heating etc I'd imagine

I'm in the US. We refer to it at HVAC (heating, ventilation and air conditioning). Is Hive an acronym?

Well assuming it's not a beehive, it's likely something he can pointlessly faff with so in his tiny mind he's 'busy doing something useful' so couldn't possibly empty the bins, or pack for his DCs holiday.

My first assumption was that it was a beehive. Not owning one, I have no idea what type of work is required with it before you leave for a holiday!

What's with these horrible men?

Remember we all just have jobs and you would be replaced before your coffin is in the ground

I think that Hive is the brand name for the wifi controller. So basically, he had to turn the heating off. Would have taken about 10 seconds.

Hive is a popular brand of heating thermostat. Although I'm not sure what interaction it needs at this time of year. It's very warm in the UK at the moment so Hives will have generally sat dormant for months until the temperature drops enough for people's heating to kick in again. I predict this will happen a week today, because it's the last bank holiday of the summer.

Oh I hope it gets better for you. I’ve got a post on at the moment and I’ve been ripped a new bum hole by many. But the holiday started very much like yours. OH in a fouls mood that they expect to to forget once they are no longer in it. Blaming me for having no insect repellent despite me making sure the kids had EVERYTHING they needed. Your husband should be glad you have a job where you’re important, it means you bring money into the home. They never are happy though are they? Work too much - unhappy. Stay at home - snide comments about not working.

Hive is a system to control your heating and hot water. You control it from an app on your phone so no need to worry about it before leaving, you could just as well do it on the train.

Thanks!

Christ isn’t it sometimes all just a lot easier and more peaceful without them? Even with the kids to deal with. If this is the sort of shit he always pulls you seriously need to be considering the future. My blood is boiling for you.