Family holiday - fed up already and not even got there yet!

[Stressedmumma88]

Going on holiday with dh and dc (8 and 5)

Dh is in a strop as i have had to bring my work laptop as a back up as a couple of things in my role that the person who is covering may not be able to do due to some family things, person is a close friend of mine so have taken it purely in case I need to do it (would be an hour max) I shouldn't need to and if i do have agreed with line manager I get a days holiday back

Then we both worked half days today, I've wfh and logged on early to finish at 11, also finished packing the cases, sorted the kids bags out, sorted the pets out, done the bins a load of other stuff. Dh got home from his half way (can't wfh) and has moaned that I've done nothing all day as he spent 20 minutes trying to sort thr hive out and had to carry 2 cases down the stairs. We both loaded the car.

Now on a train and all he's done is said how I don't travel well (I travel for my role a lot so know what I am doing!) And that I'm lazy.

Would rather be at work

Why did you let him order a meal your child didnt want?

You should of told the person taking the order that he didnt want that??

Yes this!

He sounds utterly useless and incompetent but you need to step in where the kids are affected because that's a priority, but THEN tell him to buck his ideas up and fast because shiftless, incompetent men are NOT husband/father material and can soon find themselves single again!

My DH was like this, controlling, putting me down, miserable. We're now getting divorced and my anxiety has now gone away. Leave him, it won't get better. He doesn't like you and it gets worse.

To be fair, this may actually have happened but was omitted by OP because the subject was her DH’s idiocy, not how she dealt with it.

Why would you pack his case??

I don't know any woman with children 8 and 5 who manages to be lazy (perhaps if you were well known to social services). Your husband is clearly an arse.

Do you really want to be with this man?! He sounds AWFUL

has he always been like this or is it a recent thing.

This

It sounds like your DH doesn't cope well with stress. It may be he will "chill out" once he is on holiday but I think you do at some point need to have a conversation with him about his behaviour. He has absolutely no right to call you lazy (it's abusive) and I would be making it very clear what relative contributions were made to preparing for the holiday

My husband did this on our holiday, started taking work phone calls. I was livid.
This was OUR family holiday . Its not that bloody important it couldnt wit a week There is no loyalty, they'd replace anyone tomorrow
He never did it again

@Stressedmumma88 have you murdered him yet??

Exactly! I just went to Tunisia for a week on my own with my 7 year old after years of ruined holidays with his Dad it was bliss!

I agree that both of you are letting your kids down. If you are scared of your DH, then why agree to the holiday/to take your lap top? If not, then why are you dragging your kids through this shit. You're both massively letting them down.

The thread by a newly single mum finding it so much easier to take the DC away alone was so eye-opening.
It's true - going away on holiday used to be a major stress, involving DH marching round the house yelling at everyone about how we'd be late, where's this, where's that, why haven't you done this etc (rather than doing it/finding it himself).
After he left, it was a revelation to find that you can get away on holiday without all that stress. You can pack, clean house, sort pets, get DC in the car and just GO. All quite calmly, even enjoyably.
Husbands like this are nothing but balls of stress and anger, god knows why - perhaps they'd rather stay at home.

Is he usually such a sh*t?
If not, you need to find out pronto what is bugging him, it's not fair on you and the kiddies if he's going to spoil the holiday.

Men can't multitask. They find it difficult to o even think of doing two things at once. Typical holiday gripes. Forget it, get off your phone and enjoy your holiday.

I disagree, he sounds lazy and useless in general and this is the OP's life! She has easier happier times without him dragging on her as a dead weight, he doesn't help her at all!

It won't be interesting though will it? Just an unspecified time until he cheers up or a big argument ensues which means you both are responsible. Listen to him, repeat bacj to him what he's moaning about. You don't like us using reusable water bottles why? Let him flap about talking shite. Repeat the jobs you did this morning, to him, ask him why that makes you lazy if you packed his case? You would be a fool to lift a wet towel, hang outfits up or pack his return case. Call him lazy when he doesn't do your bidding, give him an option to join in your plans once then do what your doing, if that means you have kids with you one day, he does the solo parenting the next and you relax. You can't change his behavior you you can your reaction to it. He seems to be comfortable enough with you to call you names and voice his disappointment at you. Give it a try, tell him how he makes you feel