Family holiday - fed up already and not even got there yet!

[Stressedmumma88]

Going on holiday with dh and dc (8 and 5)

Dh is in a strop as i have had to bring my work laptop as a back up as a couple of things in my role that the person who is covering may not be able to do due to some family things, person is a close friend of mine so have taken it purely in case I need to do it (would be an hour max) I shouldn't need to and if i do have agreed with line manager I get a days holiday back

Then we both worked half days today, I've wfh and logged on early to finish at 11, also finished packing the cases, sorted the kids bags out, sorted the pets out, done the bins a load of other stuff. Dh got home from his half way (can't wfh) and has moaned that I've done nothing all day as he spent 20 minutes trying to sort thr hive out and had to carry 2 cases down the stairs. We both loaded the car.

Now on a train and all he's done is said how I don't travel well (I travel for my role a lot so know what I am doing!) And that I'm lazy.

Would rather be at work

Ideally you should have both taken the morning off work. Saying you've wfh and organised the cases etc doesn't give credulence to your role. Hey I wfh so can do all the arrangements, but DP doesn't so can't do these things.

Sure you will have, but getting everything ready prior and on the day last minute stuff is quick and easy to do.

Preparing for holidays is stressful, me and DH know this and whatever we say during this time we draw a line and move on to enjoy it. 😉

Or put him off at the next stop and going with the kids

But this man has done nothing but to help with preparations. You’re practically excusing this man’s bullying behaviour. Imagine asking a child (or anyone) what they’d like for dinner and then ordering something else.

A glass of wine isn’t going to solve this.

I’m astounded at how many men don’t pack for themselves, I’d never pack for my hubby, he’s not a child (ok sometimes). He’s worked away ever since I’ve known him, he has it down to a T. Some men are still little boys, I don’t blame you for taking the kids on your own previously, so much less stress. It’s like having another child to deal with 🤷‍♀️

You’re not helpless and you have agency. Try to act like it, if not for yourself, do it for your DS.

Genuine question: why are you allowing him to treat you and your kids this way?

I’d be saying to him, if he isn’t happy on the holiday with your to FO home and leave you and the kids to enjoy yourselves.

This @Stressedmumma88

Sad - but true😔

LTB. Not joking!

When he said you had done nothing, did you list all the numerous things you had managed to get done alongside working a half day? When he had only done two things? What did he say?

Is he usually like this? Or is it just when travelling? If this is his normal MO then I cannot for the life of me understand why you are with him. He sounds absolutely awful.

As an aside, I have never packed for DH but he always talks his packing through with me as if expecting my input. It used to really annoy me - why on earth did I pack for myself and the kids and organise the dog and then have to help him too? However, I realised (having listened to a talk) that it was part of how he processes - nowt to do with me and he didnt really need my help/input. It has transformed the run up to holidays for me.