AIBU to be angry about comments on my granddaughters' names?

[Ellenay]

So, I have 5 grandchildren, this weekend I’m looking after all of them, my daughter and her husband are away to a wedding in France and my son and his wife have booked a little spa weekend.

I popped in to see some of my friends with them as I don’t often have the children and my friends like seeing them.

One of my friends had some other friends I’ve not met before over but we joined them. After introducing the children and then being sent to the kitchen to get a lollipop, one of these friends said oh don’t all the girls have little showgirl names, I must have looked a bit shocked as someone else then jumped in and said oh she doesn’t mean p*rnstar just very moulin rouge.

I just said I thought their names were lovely and moved on but now I’m back home I’m furious, I’m furious I didn’t give her a piece of my mind.

AIBU to think this is an absurd thing to say about children’s names?!

I think it was a neutral comment personally and you are overreacting. Having revealed the names they are ‘showgirl’ names but that doesn’t automatically mean negative! Could have meant glam, etc

They’re also (esp Lola and Ruby) pretty common names for girls nowadays so anyone associating them with showgirls rather than a popular name for girls in the 2010s/20s is just showing their age!

This OP.

Yes, there is a showgirl link. Yes I think your friend, given her age, probably intended to be a bit snide (if I am honest)

BUT for all of that, and putting aside that incident, I don't think you need to worry that too many people will think anything too negative - certainly not in your granddaughters' worlds. Those names are back in circulation and relatively uncontroversial. Having three of them together amps up the associations a bit, but they are nonetheless not particularly eyebrow-raising in and of themselves - a bit like John doesn't scream Biblical, but if his brothers were Matthew, Luke and Mark it amps up that feel. But again, normal names in and of themselves.

So she’s a …. Showgirl 🤣🤣🤣

Ignore the hurtful comments. We all have such different taste in names. I was reading a thread yesterday in which both of my children’s names had been listed as names people don’t like. They are quite standard names but still not liked!! I don’t care!

There are some exceptionally rude people on here. I don't know what they get out of it.

The original comment made was ill-judged, probably not meant to be offensive, but I can understand you feeling sensitive about remarks about the names of children you love.

My daughter said the name of my new granddaughter (her niece) was a "middle-aged woman" name 😄 which I was a little miffed about. (I don't agree by the way, I think it's a beautiful and classic name!)

My friend's bulldogs are called Lola and Roxy

Aw Barry! It doesn't end well for poor Lola does it...
"Still in the dress she used to wear, faded feathers in her hair, she sits there so refined, and drinks herself half blind. She lost her youth and she lost her Tony. Now she's Lost. Her. Mind. at the Copa!"

Agree!

I've had a read down a bit as I needed to know the names before commenting.... I was betting on Lola and I was right! One is 1970 the Kinks and one 1978 Barry Manilow.

Basically anyone over 50 hears
"Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair
And a dress cut down to there
She would merengue and do the cha-cha
And while she tried to be a star
Tony always tended bar"

Or

"I met her in a club down in old Soho
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like Coca-Cola
C-O-L-A, Cola
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice, she said, "Lola"
L-O-L-A, Lola
Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo-Lola"

Younger people don't make the same association, or have taken the name from the kids TV show Charlie & Lola, as a nice normal name.

Yes it was rude to say, but frankly what everyone over 50 is thinking!

Maybe you had doubts about the names initially, and now it's been spoken aloud it's just reminded you?

Have you ever heard of an independent music artist called Taylor Swift OP? Her recent album The Life of a Showgirl talks of the hopes and dreams of a dancer/singer in the spotlight and parallels of her own (and Sabrina Carpenter’s) lives on stage. None of it is low class, chavvy or in any way derogatory. Showgirl is used to signify someone committed, extremely talented and highly focused on her craft. I wouldn’t have taken that as an insult at all, so every poster insisting it’s meant as a criticism or insult has a very narrow or old fashioned view of the term showgirl.

Lola and Ruby have been around forever (and Roxy too for all I know). My grandmother was Lola, and she was a no-nonsense Scottish farmer. I also knew a Ruby who was a teacher who would be in her 90s now. Both women who had great careers without being held back by their names.

I called my third girl Jozefeen. I wanted a boy all three times and he was going to be Jozef. When I had my last baby and it was another girl my DH said we had to use the name I had been hanging on to for 8 years, and to spell it the same way. I've been accused of being "Showgirly". I didn't care it was my choice. My second daughter called her daughter Shelby. Which wasn't very familiar in UK at the time and again they said it was "Showgirly" she's 25 now and actually loves being in musicals shows but says its not showgirly enough. It doesn't matter what others say even if it upsets you or others as long as you, your grandchildren and their parents are happy with the name its not worth getting all het up over.

The names are not awful, they are lovely. My guess your ‘friend’ is jealous. I am picturing 3 gorgeous, engaging little girls.

the inherent misogyny is pathetic, if someone commented a particular name was very ‘estate’, or very ‘ethnic’ everyone would be up in arms.
but it is ok to sneer at a little girls name being a bit ‘showgirl’ because somekne wrote a song about it, when you know exactly what she is insinuating

Well, Roxy is a character in Chicago, which is a musical….therefore a show girl name.

her name was Lola, she was a show girl….

so she’s not wrong is she??!

I love the name Shelby.

X

I think it was rude, and I can understand why you were annoyed OP. I don’t pass comment on children’s names unless it’s one I’ve never heard before and think is beautiful.
Don’t let it spoil your day with your grandchildren

A weird comment but please tell us what the names are.

Well, she was commenting on the names, not the little girls themselves. One name in a particular style might not have caught her notice, but if they are all similar, I can see why she might have remarked on it as a matter of interest. Unless I am missing context about her tone or face when she said it, I don't think it's something to be offended or cross about.

That said, it is rather lovely that you are so fiercely defensive of your lovely grand-daughters, but maybe save that energy for a time when it's needed.

Edited to say I have just seen that the names are Roxy, Lola and Ruby. What a pretty set of names. I can actually see why she thought showgirls! They would all suit a fabulous leading lady with her name up in lights. I think you may be seeing different connotations for showgirl than I am, though; I think they are great.

Or maybe it’s just a weird comment to make in the first place.

It really isn’t difficult to say ‘aww.. such lovely names’ or nothing at all.

’Showgirls’ isn’t exactly a term that is considered automatically a compliment regardless if she meant it as one or not.

She did. Yesterday.

Anyone else who's been reading this since page 1, getting really fed up of comments from posters who haven't rtft?

Please tell us what the names are?
Lola - Barry Manilow
Lola - The Kinks
Lola - Nabakov
Ruby - Kaiser Chiefs
Roxy - The Police
Roxy - Cyrano de Bergerac
All 3 names - East Enders
And the endless bloody quoting of the lyrics.

Perfectly valid observations but it's really irritating when people think they're being original by sharing something that's already been said dozens of times.

I would be furious too. You probably don’t like things about that woman but wouldn’t be so rude as to say.
“ i don’t like your name ,or hair style, or clothes , or name , , but I wouldn’t be so rude as to say so”

If I read the first line of THAT Barry Manilow song one more time on this thread, I may scream.

So, basically, you want everyone to agree with you. Have you been on MN long?

Of course you think the names are lovely, as they are the names of your beautiful granddaughters. However, the name Lola to most people immediately prompts their brain to the Copacabana song by Barry Manilow, or Lola by the Kinks, neither of which are referencing sweet innocent little girls. Sorry, but it's true. I agree she should have kept her opinions to herself, though.