AIBU to be angry about comments on my granddaughters' names?

[Ellenay]

So, I have 5 grandchildren, this weekend I’m looking after all of them, my daughter and her husband are away to a wedding in France and my son and his wife have booked a little spa weekend.

I popped in to see some of my friends with them as I don’t often have the children and my friends like seeing them.

One of my friends had some other friends I’ve not met before over but we joined them. After introducing the children and then being sent to the kitchen to get a lollipop, one of these friends said oh don’t all the girls have little showgirl names, I must have looked a bit shocked as someone else then jumped in and said oh she doesn’t mean p*rnstar just very moulin rouge.

I just said I thought their names were lovely and moved on but now I’m back home I’m furious, I’m furious I didn’t give her a piece of my mind.

AIBU to think this is an absurd thing to say about children’s names?!

So as Lolita - but you wouldn't call your daughter that...

Life is too short. If this is all you have to worry about, then you are very lucky. I personally would not give it a second thought. The important thing is, your family like the children's names and that is all that matters xx

I was wondering this? To me Beyoncé, Taylor, Arianna, Lorde, Monroe? Show girl names. Is there a theme of ‘famous names’ when all 5 kids are together. I only ask as a few years ago there were multiple women at work on the same floor pregnant and due at the same time and when the birth announcements were shared! Separately, someone pointed out we had all the names of the lads from one direction! They would all be teenagers now! Office humour!

YABU. I don't understand why people get upset about people not liking certain names, especially if the parents choose a name they know is outlandish. If someone said they didn't like my name, I wouldn't take offense, I didn't like it myself growing up lol.

It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of the name, except for the human to whom it belongs.

I think ‘showgirl’ name is a bit of a euphemism for prostitute name. Rude and sneery.

That's a VERY bitchy and judgemental comment to make.
I don't like the names but it doesn't matter: why would anyone say that??? Did the "friend" want you to feel inadequate or anything? I just cull people like that from my life.

You have a fair point, but you are being quite spiky to a poster who is trying to support you here?

Really? A showgirl isn't a prostitute. Maybe you should get out more.

Roll your eyes and take no notice. Some people are unable to keep their mouths shut.

You don't say how old the woman who made the comment was, but people do tend to have ideas about different names, often linked to when they grew up, either names they encountered or cultural references, and they also often group into types of names. Some people think some names are very girly names or old lady names, for example. It's not necessarily negatively and will often say they have a preference for e.g. old fashioned names.

Lola and Ruby are very common names these days, and Roxy isn't unusual, and if I heard someone had daughters with those three names I would definitely consider them the same sort of name, but lots of people (on Mumsnet) think that they have to give their children names that go together.

Could be worse. I work with someone who called their baby girl Sapphire 😂 Thank goodness I didn’t reply “Haha, good one”. They’re so middle of the road, normal name people too.

Also know someone in the same town with two girls, Mercedes and Porsche (spelt like the car, not the Shakespeare character) 😆

I wouldn't care.

Strangers don't upset me.

Those names don't conjure up show girl or prostitute to me. So I don't know what she was on about.

Ruby reminds me of Ruby in Anne of Green Gables

Roxy has a show business feel to it.

My son used to do sport with a girl called Lola - (and a friend has a dog called Lola).

OP Being called a showgirl name is a compliment. Look at all the female leads in West End musicals over the years dancing and singing. Dancers in shows are great too.
I like your grandaughters names. Maybe the person who was a bit abrasive to you wishes she has 5 granddaughters and is jealous of you?

I personally hate showgirl/burlesque names- Lola, Star, Marnie (especially hate that one- it reminds me of a silly 1920s flapper). Although, I also hate "middle class" names such as Oliver, Jasper and Joanna, so hey ho....

Nobody put @Thundertoast in the corner!!

I know a few kids with those names, I like Ruby especially. It was a mean comment with the intention of putting you down when you were feeling proud about your grandkids. Listen to Annalisa Barbieri’s podcast on envy as might help to understand what was going on in that exchange and why you came away feeling bad about it. It likely says much more about them than about you or your lovely grandkids - perhaps they couldn’t tolerate your happiness in your grandchildren for whatever reason and so deliberately rained on your parade to make you feel bad. Either that or they’re just bloody stupid and rude. It’s definitely not a normal response to a happy moment. So your instinct is right, it’s not really about the names at all, which are all perfectly nice, so take no notice of the original mean comment or the typical mumsnet pile on here.

I would have assumed “Roxy” was a nickname for Roxanne. I think all three names are fine. As a teacher, I’ve encountered far, far worse. A friend of mine named her daughter “Edna” after the grandmother who raised her. People gave her a hard time. Edna herself has no problem with it.

FWIW @Ellenay I love all three names. I agree with you that this woman should have just kept quiet, it was rude to comment in any way that might have been interpreted as negative. It sounds to me like it’s her problem, she’s got a spiteful streak because she feels inadequate.

My cousin & their spouse named both thier girls really awful names, and I assumed they’d grow on me… they haven’t .. and it’s been more than a decade… I wouldn’t say I didn’t like the names though. Although I think most of the family have privately commented!
We can’t all like all names. I think some people comment before they think..
No point being furious after the event though

So if it wasn’t an insult what is wrong with Roxy or Lola as a name?

Norhing. But names can have connotations (these can change over time/apply in different circles or circumstances etc etc). And you are upset because someone has pointed out what those names connote to her, which lost have agreed demonstrates a lack of manners (or at least, lack of filter) on her part. But many names are like that. If the girls were Elizabeth, Alexandra and Mary, people would be saying “ooh - very regal and queenly”. If they were Victoria, Geri and Melanie, people would say “ooh - like the Spice Girls”. You get the drift. Your friend was a bit tactless, but I don’t think it should be seen as more than that on any level.

I like the names; they are also showgirl names. Lola is Copacabana; Roxy is Roxie Hart; Ruby is the name for quite a few burlesque artists!

honestly, given the songs “Whatever Lola Wants”/the Kinks’ “Lola”, “Roxanne”, and “Ruby Tuesday”, showgirl isn’t bad. Maybe she shouldn’t have said it but surely ANYONE who calls their three daughters those names has thought they’re glam theatrical showgirl names! It’s like taking your grandsons Solomon, Tobit, and Isaiah round and being offended when someone says “those are very Old Testament names…”

Ruby is actually loved on MN.

I notice that because I am personally not a fan as it makes me think of Ruby Wax (who is perfectly nice, but just not my idea of a little girl).

Lola is quite sweet in the Charlie and Lola dvds.

Roxy sounds really tough to me, more than showgirl, but also like the sort of character that might have been in that very retro FAME series.

But none of them are really unusual these days.