How to overcome using childcare as coercive control.

[Emotionstorn]

Single mum to SEN child 7yo
dad piece of shit refusing to watch child so I can do anything

school holidays
I’m drowning
my mum asked me to the theatre tonight. he’s kicked off spat his dummy out and gone home leaving child here. Can’t go.
genuinely had enough. When does this get better when will I have a life and friends again

As a single parent you would get 85% off childcare for your child to go to nursery wouldn’t you? Can’t believe your mam takes money off you for helping. I’m sure it would cost you less to use the 85% discount and you could even work more days or if you need a break, don’t.
And definitely take him to the CMS, I bet he’ll then suddenly decide he wants his child more. What an arsehole.

Can you not change your Monday and Tuesday hours at all they are long unsociable shifts?

Sorry OP just saw your child is now school age.

Op is a single mum

Stop speaking to him. He is abusive.

do not let him into your house. Ever. He takes her to his or he chooses not to see her. Does he work? Can you go through cms for maintenance as you have her 100%. Set up a parenting app and do not talk to him beyond that.

reach out to old friends. Socialising with the children was all i did when they were young.

stop telling your mum everything!

Agreed. You can claim uc and work but possibly work less give yourself a breather

I think you should see someone. How are you feeling today?

This sounds sensible.
It may seem difficult but I know from experience there are plenty of dads like this and it is still possible to bring up a SEN child. Good advice not to tell him anything as he can use any info to be awkward, and I wouldn’t have him in my house.
Seek advice from anyone who might help - Social Services, school, local voluntary groups, maybe church - help is out there.