So angry what is wrong with some parents

[fumingrightnow1]

My dd14 was supposed to be sleeping at a friend's tonight. They have had an argument and she said let's just leave it and go to sleep her friend told her she had to leave so she's walked home and just come in the door at gone 10pm. I can't believe the mum didn't step in and do anything or let me know and I would've got her. I've said to dd why didn't you call me but she just shrugged and said she was fine walking and didn't want to stand outside waiting for me. Its about a 10 minute walk. I don't let her out on her own at this time of night. As a parent i would have stepped in and can't believe this other mum did nothing.

So you allowed your 11 year-old go on sleepovers to another household and you don't even even have the parents details?

This girl is now 14 so that ship has sailed.

I wouldn't think a 14 year old would have her mother exchange information with the other mother. In any case, the OP didn't action this or suggest it so being annoyed at this other mother for not magicking up the information is a bit unfair. You left your daughter in charge and she did as she thought best. If this doesn't work for you, you need to talk to your daughter about it. .

I have the address. I know what school the dd goes to I know where the mum works. I am able to contact my dd through her mobile

If she’s anything like me… she checks her FB messages once in a blue moon ie once a year if that!

I imagine that your DD, the friend and their groups of friends have been snap chatting about this spat last night… all day

Me too, I was surprised when OP said she would contact her through FB!!!

Ok though, what if your daughter’s phone was dead, or she injured herself and the other mum was unable to unlock her phone to call you.

I would insist if my daughter was going somewhere the parent had my number and I could contact them too. I would also confirm the sleepover was happening as at that age they can do anything.

Maybe her 14 year old is allowed to walk home alone and she has no issue with what happened.

Thats why you need to talk to the other parent and make sure your child is safe.

Then i would expect the other parent to deal with it and ask my daughter for my number.

What do people use now i always use messenger to contact people

They have

But as this latest scenario demonstrates (IF it really did go down as your daughter conveyed) would demonstrate maybe you should have a rethink about this expectation

And I suspect the friend has a very different version

How would she ask your daughter to unlock her phone if something serious had happened?

Huh? How would she do that if your daughter was lying on the floor injured?

I think you genuinely need to decide if your daughter has autonomy as a young woman or is still under an adult's care when not in your home. You can't have it both ways.

whatsapp.

Quite a lot of my friends no longer have FB.

She’s probably wondering why you are blaming her for your DD disobeying your rule about not walking home alone at that time of night. At 14 your DD is responsible for the situation she put herself in.

And OP’s daughter has demonstrated that she doesn’t follow simple rules set by her mum

Pick up DC from where?

I think it’s likely, yes.

Or very likely she hasn’t even received the message and will get it and wonder what it was all about when she next logs in to Facebook in 2028…!

The mum may not have realised she has gone?

I almost never have my daughter's friends in my car - they make their own way around town on the bus or by walking. So it can vary wildly.

My daughter isn't particularly social (autistic) so I am sure is slower to launch than many other teens, but the majority of my friends with teenagers wouldn't know all their kids' friends - and certainly not their parents!