To think this comment from manager was completely inappropriate

[Banannanana]

I was eating a cake at work having eaten a sandwich and a donut four hours earlier. This is over the course of a 8 hour shift. My manager came in today and said “all you’ve done today is stuff your face” and laughed. He is a jokey type of guy always but AIBU to think this is too far? He’s a 50ish yo man and me a mid 20s woman for context. It massively upset me as I have previous issues with weight and eating (which he wasn’t to know). How do I raise this?

Struggling to explain why it’s hurt me so much as when I told my work friends they just went “oh yeah its a bit much but probably banter” so how do I put into words why I’m so
upset?

"You went from feeling safe, to unsafe"

Someone has used this phrase in this thread. What the actual fuck.

This type of fragility is so harmful...

No one is 'unsafe' because someone has commented on their food.

Slightly annoyed yes. Unsafe no.

Whether it was appropriate or not depends on the context and your relationship. If you have the kind of relationship where you joke and tease one another then it doesn't sound too bad given he doesn't know you have had issues with diet previously. However as a Manager, I wouldn't personally have said something like that, particularly to a much younger colleague, as I'd be conscious that some people may be upset by it.
Can you bring it up in your next 121 as a "just so you know, Roger, would you not joke about my eating habits or diet in the office in the future. It makes me a bit uncomfortable. Thanks" You don't have to make a big deal about it, don't have to share anything about your past issues and if he says anything other than "Oh, sorry, of course I won't do that again", he's a nobber and if he does make "jokey comments" in future you can go to HR.

Ah! So à ‘ safe space’ is a collusive space! I see! So this is why the echo chamber is in dominance and extremism is taking hold.

The comments on this thread are absolutely crazy, you're not being unreasonable at all, actually.

It is totally inappropriate for someone to comment on what you're eating or to say that you're stuffing your face, much less a manager. If you're looking for nuanced or balanced replies then MN is evidently not the place to do it, they're more concerned about calling people "snowflakes" 😂
Hope you're okay lovely x

Haven’t run away from the thread. Have come to accept I was being a bit sensitive due to issues with body image. Definitely a sensitive subject for me. Time to lose some weight I think!

When did I ever say I was going to HR? You’ve jumped to conclusions massively, of course I wouldn’t.

Point me to where I said I was running to Hr.

Good for you, OP, for heeding what people have said 😊

I like 'even my 5 year old son knows not to make personal remarks'.

Didn't say you did. You are being literal. I said running to them is like….

I'm with you OP. Grossly insensitive remark to make. As a manager he should know better that there are all sorts of reasons not to make personal comments. I'd probably say something along the lines of "Just a heads up Mr Manager, that it's never a good idea to comment on someone's eating habits, given how dangerous eating disorders can be".

When i was pregnant my boss said to me... no wonder youve got gestational diabetes all you do is eat!! 😱