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Original poster

Holiday or wedding?

104 replies

Holidayandwedding · 16/08/2026 09:43

If your sisters wedding was booked for a time you were on a month long holiday that has taken a lot of planning, would you cancel the holiday or go to the wedding? The holiday includes our adult children, one who will just have finished A levels and one who will have just graduated, which is why we planned it for when we have. We have already planned and booked things to do, have concert tickets and have planned things with friends over there.

We have had the holiday booked for a while and the wedding date has only just been announced. We hadn’t told my family about the holiday yet as we were waiting til we saw them. When we saw them last week, they told us about the wedding straight away and then obviously we had to tell them it clashed with our holiday dates. My parents and sister can’t believe we are prepared to miss the wedding. Are we being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Eclipseydo · 23/08/2026 15:30

Holidayandwedding · 23/08/2026 14:46

Quick update, I offered to fly back for the wedding but they’re not happy with that as they want me here for the days before and they want all of us not just me. I’ve offered to help organise, go dress shopping and anything else that’s needed but none of that is good enough. There is nothing else I can do. They won’t accept that they should have told us they were looking at dates again, the date can’t be changed and they’ve hardly spoken to me since.

Edited

I'm so sorry OP.
Time you put your family first and enjoyed the holiday.
Their behaviour is not normal.

Be wary of being manipulated here.
Do not allow them to try and spoil your holiday.

Is this a pattern?
It reads as really strange behaviour.

Do they gang up a bit on you generally?
It seems weird to be a complete one off.

Even my nephew 5 years ago gave a july 2024 heads up as the month he and his girlfriend were looking to marry and they would get back asap with a date.
He did this to everyone in the family and closest friends.
Thats what you do when you really want people to make it.

outerspacepotato · 23/08/2026 15:42

Holidayandwedding · 23/08/2026 14:46

Quick update, I offered to fly back for the wedding but they’re not happy with that as they want me here for the days before and they want all of us not just me. I’ve offered to help organise, go dress shopping and anything else that’s needed but none of that is good enough. There is nothing else I can do. They won’t accept that they should have told us they were looking at dates again, the date can’t be changed and they’ve hardly spoken to me since.

Edited

If a compromise isn't good enough for them, they're being unreasonable and I'd give them nothing. You tried, go on your holiday.

They've gone into controlling territory. You should be able to say no without them having a fit and not talking to you. That's pretty childish.

It sounds like they want you there to do a lot of the work, not just to enjoy the wedding. But why do they want your whole family there? Main character syndrome where your whole family gets dictated to? Is your sister the Golden Child?

Don't cancel for them when they're the ones being so unreasonable.

Wingingit73 · 23/08/2026 17:28

Send your apologies and have an amazing holiday

2026letsgo · 23/08/2026 19:51

Ridiculous. They’ve had 6 years to make sure everyone could attend. It also can’t be that big a deal as they left it so long.

Go on holiday and enjoy. They’ll get over it.

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