Holiday or wedding?

[Holidayandwedding]

If your sisters wedding was booked for a time you were on a month long holiday that has taken a lot of planning, would you cancel the holiday or go to the wedding? The holiday includes our adult children, one who will just have finished A levels and one who will have just graduated, which is why we planned it for when we have. We have already planned and booked things to do, have concert tickets and have planned things with friends over there.

We have had the holiday booked for a while and the wedding date has only just been announced. We hadn’t told my family about the holiday yet as we were waiting til we saw them. When we saw them last week, they told us about the wedding straight away and then obviously we had to tell them it clashed with our holiday dates. My parents and sister can’t believe we are prepared to miss the wedding. Are we being unreasonable?

Could they live-stream the wedding so you can watch the ceremony from overseas, plus get involved in the prep, such as wedding dress buying and hen do etc.

Then go on holiday and have a fabulous time!

I presume your mum is willing to completely finance any cancellation/rearrangement costs you incur?

No, thought not…

I wouldn't miss my sisters wedding for anything - but we are close. it depends how close you are for me really.

How far in the future is the date?

i'm with pp - it was up to her to check if she wanted to be sure people would be there.

In your shoes? go on the holiday. Wish her well, invite her and husband over for dinner when you get back.

Holiday

its more than just a holiday, it’s a long planned celebration of your children’s achievements and also involves other peoples lives.

Non of my siblings were at my wedding & i was only at one of theirs, it didn’t change their or my days.

It's unfortunate that they didn't double check as this can happen, people have lives and they have been engaged years.

When you really care about close family been there, you do a quick check.

No way I would mess up my holiday.

6 years? She's taking the piss. The wedding may not even happen.

Who's to say your sister wont change her mind. You'll change your holiday then the wedding could change dayes and you will miss out for no reason.
It would be easier for them to change the wedding if they really want you there.

Over 90% of respondents think you are not being unreasonable. You booked your holiday first, enjoy your holiday!

Get them to change their dates. If they want you there they'll do that. I wouldn't change my plans if they don't or won't try to arrange a different date. Instead I'd bring them out to a fancy dinner, give them a good pressie, and watch the wedding on Whatsapp or similar.

I wouldn't be emotionally blackmailed by someone who just didn't ask immediate family if they would be ok with the proposed date. Bad planning on their part.

You don't sound devastated if you can't be there, and that's perfectly fine. You can be photoshopped into photos these days and all. 😊

Presumably a month long holiday for 4+ adults might cost as much as a wedding. In your circumstances I wouldn’t go.

Personally I would go on the holiday; explain to her you booked & paid for it; you’ve booked lots of excursions & if you cancel you’ll lose too much money; sure she’ll be upset but life goes on you can FaceTime her before the wedding & chat to her & see her in her dress etc buy her something special for her to open whilst she’s getting ready on the day something she can wear. Your holiday is a month long & effects your whole family her wedding is one day & she has so many other people to fuss over her

Had you not mentioned to your Mum that you had a holiday booked? Or is a month long holiday, involving everyone, a usual holiday for you?

No way would I cancel my holiday for a glorified party