AIBU - The Baby Bath Incident

[ExhaustedRaccoon]

SIL and I both have toddlers of a similar age ( only 3 months age difference) and I also have an 8 week old.

When the grandchildren were born, MIL bought lots of lovely baby things for us to share ( MIL lives abroad close to SIL and we are in the UK).

DP and I are currently on holiday and staying with MIL and DC. DS 2 ( the youngest ) has had severe colic and reflux and during the wee small hours of searching the internet, I read a nice warm bath before bed can sometimes relax the baby. At this point, I am willing to try anything. MIL only has a shower and a sit on things for the baby borrowed from SIL.

I remembered about the lovely bath with a pillow MIL purchased and asked where it was. She said SIL had borrowed it. MIL messaged SIL to ask if she could bring it back please. SIL said no, she still uses it. MIL explained our colic situation and how we are all incredibly sleep deprived and also how she is the one who bought the baby bath and she still refused to bring it back ( we are only here for two weeks so she would get it back!) she suggested we buy our own.

SIL has just moved house and has a lovely big bath in her second bathroom she could use for DN.

DP got a bit annoyed and messaged SIL saying he will come to pick it up himself and they ended up having an argument about it.

AIBU to think SIL is being incredibly unreasonable and childish about a bloody baby bath? Children’s things are not cheap here and we will only be using it for two weeks to try an ease a bit of pain for our DS2 which she clearly doesn’t care about!

Your SIL is being ridiculous but don't set too much store in the bath curing the problem.

Just pop into town & buy a bloody washing up bowl he’s 8 weeks old he’s going to be fine in that it’ll be clean ocd hubby can remain calm child can bathe & you can relax & leave sil to enjoy the baby bath that she’s probably sold

Erm, you just don’t drop them. Just like how you don’t drop them when you get them out of the bath. You just don’t drop your baby. And no one is really that slippery - trying to think now.. I think I sort of washed one side of his body whilst holding him on one hip, rinsed, then swapped sides. Two days after a c section too! Then we got a baby bath seat with holes in, then later he sat on the shower floor..now he stands up.

So a bath will ease colic but a sink will aggravate? 🙄 This is all a fuss over nothing, just put the baby in the sink you don't need "correct apparatus" as a great many comments have confirmed, you are being ridiculous.

Yes your SIL is being a bit of a dick, I can’t imagine why any adult would not let a baby use a bath if needed. As others have said she’s either already got rid of it/ given it away and now she’s been caught out or there is some other underlying issue she has with either you or her brother. Babies have been bathed in sinks for generations without issue but if you are not confident enough to soak your baby in a sink or large plastic container for fear of him not being supported properly or slipping from your hands then your only other option is to drive the 2 hour round trip to somewhere with a baby store and pay over the odds for another bath…. I hope it helps him feel better

I just wouldn't have the confidence.

When you get them out of the bath, you aren't wet, the floor isn't wet, your feet aren't wet. Your feet are dry and on firm dry ground and the only wet thing is baby so you can focus everything on holding them firmly. I'd just feel challenged by also focusing on not slipping on a wet floor myself.#

Sitting in the shower seems not so bad, but I'd have to hand them to someone before attempting to stand up again.

In terms of colic have you seen any of the videos by Nicolas Grimaldi and Osteopath
www.facebook.com/share/19G6PSgygj/

I never had a baby bath. DD came in the bath with me or DH from birth. DH worked away so I was often doing it by myself. Not once did I drop her.

MIL doesn't have a bath, so that won't work for OP.

I find it weird that the majority of people on here are getting angry and frustrated with OP when it's SIL who's behaved extremely badly and dishonestly. She's basically stolen MIL's property. MIL bought it for her house to be used when the grandkids visited. OP was made aware that MIL's baby equipment was available for her stays.

SIL helped herself to the bath while MIL was out of the country and is refusing to give it back to her. In what world is that less annoying than OP not wanting to relax her baby in the sink? It's not getting the baby clean that was her need, it was to relax her baby in a comfortable baby bath with a bath cushion.

If I was MIL I'd be furious with SIL, who's continued to refuse to return it, even after MIL pointed out that it was her property.

Not once did I drop her.

Well once would be rather more than enough!

It obviously works for some people but I would feel very insecure being wet and slippery on a hard floor with a wet, slippery baby in my wet hands.

I’ve seen baby inflatables but they are usually inflatable seats, not small boats. But anyway they’re in a rural Italian village she said. The sink is fine 🤷‍♀️

Best response so far

I get that the sink is used to wash dishes but isn’t it normal to disinfect and keep the kitchen sink clean and hygienic. All mine have had kitchen sink baths was honestly the most convenient and easiest way to bath little ones. I was bought a baby bath with our eldest was the worst thing I had ever used, hurts your back for one. Where I understand your MIL’s frustration because let’s face it she bought it, just use the sink. It really isn’t such a big deal. In my experience of colic babies, years of sleep deprivation of having multiple children in a short space of time when you are as desperate as you are saying you both are you would just use the kitchen sink x

That's why you put a towel on the bottom of the sink. If the floor is slippery, stand on a towel.

I'm not sure there is a slipping issue with a sink is there?

The other pp was talking about the adult getting in the shower with the baby.

I’m sorry but I’m not washing my 8 week in a sink, where he will become slippery with the water and possibly aggravate any colic/reflux he has. I’d rather be safe and use the correct apparatus that are made for babies!

Honestly, you are being utterly ridiculous. Do you think baby baths have existed forever? Generations were happily bathed otherwise, including myself as I lived in a multi-generational household as a baby with grandparents who distrusted ‘new fangled things’🤣. Never hurt anyone and certainly won’t worsen colic or reflux (no idea how you figure this), but also, likely won’t help it either. You seem to be dying in a hill you just don’t need to be on.

If you you the handbasin/sink in the bathroom, there really is no difference OP.

Athough years ago people did use a kitchen sink, I can see that could seem unhygienic - but less because of food remnants having been in there, and more because of baby's pooey bottom where the cutlery etc will later be washed.

Absolutely worked for our baby too, 3 sessions in 12 days and it cured weeks of constant crying

Over the decades we’ve had a few through with snapped necks, so I really wouldn’t risk it. Too high a price in the event (albeit rare) that something goes wrong.

Why does she still need a baby bath for a toddler?

Has,she got rid of it given it to someone else she won't using that for a toddler.
I think she is telling porkies and doesn't have it anymore or you would without a doubt bring it over to help with a 8 week old x

That’s a chiropractor not an osteopath

both you and your sister sound ridiculously precious. 🙄

She has sold it and doesn't want to admit it 100%!

As a reflux sufferer, I can tell you that relaxing is the reverse of helpful. I frequently get it just at the point when I drift off to sleep, presumably because at that point all my muscles relax including the one preventing stomach contents from coming back up my oesophagus. So I'm really sceptical that the warm bath thing will help at all.