Page 12 | AIBU - The Baby Bath Incident

PretendToBeToastWithMe · Yesterday 22:54

I think you are both being a bit precious over a baby bath. MIL was unreasonable to buy baby equipment to be “shared” by babies that live in different countries. You are both being unreasonable to make such a big deal over it.

Tbh I’m most surprised this is your second child and you think a bath before bed will solve your baby sleep problems. My guess is DP will go over, demand bath, cause family drama, and then you will find the bath does nothing. You are hanging way too much hope on the bath improving sleep for you all. Some babies just don’t sleep well until they are older.

disturbia · Yesterday 23:06

ExhaustedRaccoon · Yesterday 11:16

I’m sorry but I’m not washing my 8 week in a sink, where he will become slippery with the water and possibly aggravate any colic/reflux he has. I’d rather be safe and use the correct apparatus that are made for babies!

someone on here said I’m “fixated” on the idea of bathing to relieve colic. This is not the case. I’ve tried many things from trips to a private paediatrician here to massage and although there is slight relief, it’s like to try a bath to see if this helps him as I’m sure it has many babies! The only person making an issue out of it is my SIL who contradicts herself by saying she still uses it but then I a mother breath has said she doesn’t bathe her daughter, she has showers.

I cannot get my head around the fact she is so possessive over a bloody bath.

MIL did buy these things for the occasional stay over, and also because we stay a few times a year so she makes sure she has everything we need.

DIL took the bath when MIL came to stay with us for a few weeks, she did not ask and knew we were coming with DS1 2 months later and instead gave us a seat for him to sit on ( which she didn’t like) which at the time was fine as DS was older and found showering fun.

I haven’t made a big deal out of it and messaged her or spoken to her about it, I just wondered what peoples opinions were but obviously I’m being unreasonable for thinking she’s making a big thing of it by texting DP and MIL some rather rude texts insinuating her DC is far more important and she needs the bath… even though SIL stated she never baths her.

Your SIL ia being very unkind it wouldn't hurt her to give the bath to you for a couple of weeks to help your DS

Purplebunnie · Yesterday 23:29

I don't think your SIL still has the bath, she's either lost it in the move or sold it

saraclara · Yesterday 23:30

allthingsinmoderation · Yesterday 20:07

if your MIL bought the baby bath for communal use when staying with her,i think it should have been your MIL who asked your SIL to return the bath.
I think your SIL seems unreasonable given your circumstances not to return the bath.
On the other hand its probbaly not worth the argument, baby baths can be purchashed for a reasonable price (may not be as flashy as the one in question ) but adequate for the job. I think id do that rather than argue tthe toss with SIL

It WAS the MIL that asked for it back temporarily. And it sounds as though she challenged the initial refusal as well.

Melancholyflower · Yesterday 23:36

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 21:25

So you’ve searched the thread for that answer but haven’t read the opening post closely enough to see the very clear answer to why she can’t do that. Makes sense!

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Doh! Did read it, then probably forgot that by the time I'd read the word bath so many times! I was reading all the posts and then wondered why no-one had suggested bathing with the baby, so just started scanning the thread.

Theworldsgonemadagain · Yesterday 23:46

What do people do with little babies when they go on holidays? They don't take baby baths with them. I can't see op replying to the suggestion of bathing the baby with her. Surely thats the common sense thing. Baby will be more relaxed bathing with it's mother. Problem solved. As a pp has said much ado about nothing.

saraclara · Yesterday 23:47

Theworldsgonemadagain · Yesterday 23:46

What do people do with little babies when they go on holidays? They don't take baby baths with them. I can't see op replying to the suggestion of bathing the baby with her. Surely thats the common sense thing. Baby will be more relaxed bathing with it's mother. Problem solved. As a pp has said much ado about nothing.

How many times? MIL doesn't have a bath. Only a shower.

Contrarymary30 · Today 00:18

macaroon8 · Yesterday 10:13

Sink/washing up bowl or a bucket. Tea towel on the bottom of the sink and round the taps. Don't be surprised if your toddler wants a go as well.

One of mine had severe colic/reflux warm baths did not work.

She says H has OCD and the sink is too dirty . 😳.

ToKittyornottoKitty · Today 00:22

Contrarymary30 · Today 00:18

She says H has OCD and the sink is too dirty . 😳.

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It was clearly just an excuse though because she later said she wouldn’t use a sink as the water would be too slippy

Calliopespa · Today 00:22

Theworldsgonemadagain · Yesterday 23:46

What do people do with little babies when they go on holidays? They don't take baby baths with them. I can't see op replying to the suggestion of bathing the baby with her. Surely thats the common sense thing. Baby will be more relaxed bathing with it's mother. Problem solved. As a pp has said much ado about nothing.

In all honesty, I never took an 8 week old on holiday - and I'm not sure that many people do.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · Today 01:07

ToKittyornottoKitty · Today 00:22

It was clearly just an excuse though because she later said she wouldn’t use a sink as the water would be too slippy

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How can water be too slippy?
🤣

Boreded · Today 01:26

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · Today 01:07

How can water be too slippy?
🤣

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Cool it to below 0 and you’ll see…I ended up on my arse in the rink at Rockefeller because of that pesky water

PinkyFlamingo · Today 01:48

It seems obvious SIL doesn't have it anymore as noone bathes a toddler in a baby bath.

BeWittyRobin · Today 05:52

She can not return something if she no longer has it in her possession- which is what I highly suspect has happened x

Mumtotornadoes · Today 06:16

MIL bought a baby bath for her grandchildren to use at HER house. SIL took it when MIL wasn't home. Which is bang out of order.
She has now obviously sold it. Or is just being insanely selfish to keep something she didn't buy and doesn't need. When the person who did buy it needs it. I think alot of people haven't really understood that MIL bought these shared things for her own house rather than for the siblings to share between their houses.

MeAndTheDoggo · Today 06:33

I wouldn’t have gone down this route. It would bust be sink bath

ScallopShelled · Today 06:38

Mumtotornadoes · Today 06:16

MIL bought a baby bath for her grandchildren to use at HER house. SIL took it when MIL wasn't home. Which is bang out of order.
She has now obviously sold it. Or is just being insanely selfish to keep something she didn't buy and doesn't need. When the person who did buy it needs it. I think alot of people haven't really understood that MIL bought these shared things for her own house rather than for the siblings to share between their houses.

What a lot of kerfuffle about nothing. It doesn’t matter whether the SIL has sold it or is using it to grow waterlilies! The OP has multiple other options.

BudgetBuster · Today 06:46

ExhaustedRaccoon · Yesterday 09:30

SIL and I both have toddlers of a similar age ( only 3 months age difference) and I also have an 8 week old.

When the grandchildren were born, MIL bought lots of lovely baby things for us to share ( MIL lives abroad close to SIL and we are in the UK).

DP and I are currently on holiday and staying with MIL and DC. DS 2 ( the youngest ) has had severe colic and reflux and during the wee small hours of searching the internet, I read a nice warm bath before bed can sometimes relax the baby. At this point, I am willing to try anything. MIL only has a shower and a sit on things for the baby borrowed from SIL.

I remembered about the lovely bath with a pillow MIL purchased and asked where it was. She said SIL had borrowed it. MIL messaged SIL to ask if she could bring it back please. SIL said no, she still uses it. MIL explained our colic situation and how we are all incredibly sleep deprived and also how she is the one who bought the baby bath and she still refused to bring it back ( we are only here for two weeks so she would get it back!) she suggested we buy our own.

SIL has just moved house and has a lovely big bath in her second bathroom she could use for DN.

DP got a bit annoyed and messaged SIL saying he will come to pick it up himself and they ended up having an argument about it.

AIBU to think SIL is being incredibly unreasonable and childish about a bloody baby bath? Children’s things are not cheap here and we will only be using it for two weeks to try an ease a bit of pain for our DS2 which she clearly doesn’t care about!

You are there for 2 weeks... colic aside, how have been / were you planning to bathe your baby?

€25 isn't that expensive IMO for a replacement bath. Kitchen sinks have been used for many a year. Your DP should get some help for his OCD if it's going to hinder his child's ability to bathe.

BusterGonad · Today 06:50

Wash the baby in the sink, blind fold your partner so s/he doesn't see.

pouletvous · Today 07:01

bath the baby in the sink

pouletvous · Today 07:03

Don’t they have Amazon in Italy?

buy one

Mumtotornadoes · Today 07:14

ScallopShelled · Today 06:38

What a lot of kerfuffle about nothing. It doesn’t matter whether the SIL has sold it or is using it to grow waterlilies! The OP has multiple other options.

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I'm sure OP will make do and isn't crying herself to sleep at night over missing out on the baby bath, she's only posted a handful of times yesterday morning.

Doesn't change the fact that SIL has taken something that doesn't belong to her from someone else's house and refused to return it. Doesn't matter what it is. It could be a sippy cup or a toy. MIL bought it for her own house, it belongs at MILs house where she wants it so she can use it for her grandchildren as she wanted to do.

Phoenixfire1988 · Today 07:56

Shes sold it or gave it away to a friend because there is no way a 2 yo is fitting in a baby bath !

Phoenixfire1988 · Today 08:06

ExhaustedRaccoon · Yesterday 11:16

I’m sorry but I’m not washing my 8 week in a sink, where he will become slippery with the water and possibly aggravate any colic/reflux he has. I’d rather be safe and use the correct apparatus that are made for babies!

someone on here said I’m “fixated” on the idea of bathing to relieve colic. This is not the case. I’ve tried many things from trips to a private paediatrician here to massage and although there is slight relief, it’s like to try a bath to see if this helps him as I’m sure it has many babies! The only person making an issue out of it is my SIL who contradicts herself by saying she still uses it but then I a mother breath has said she doesn’t bathe her daughter, she has showers.

I cannot get my head around the fact she is so possessive over a bloody bath.

MIL did buy these things for the occasional stay over, and also because we stay a few times a year so she makes sure she has everything we need.

DIL took the bath when MIL came to stay with us for a few weeks, she did not ask and knew we were coming with DS1 2 months later and instead gave us a seat for him to sit on ( which she didn’t like) which at the time was fine as DS was older and found showering fun.

I haven’t made a big deal out of it and messaged her or spoken to her about it, I just wondered what peoples opinions were but obviously I’m being unreasonable for thinking she’s making a big thing of it by texting DP and MIL some rather rude texts insinuating her DC is far more important and she needs the bath… even though SIL stated she never baths her.

I'm sorry but ive bathed all mine in the sink including my premmie when he came home who also had awful colic btw and all of them have absolutely loved it I'm assuming because its a smaller space , it was also much easier on my back. I'm assuming you've never used the sink to bathe your kids so you have no idea how much easier it actually is .your sil has clearly sold or given away the bath so your options are :

bathe in the sink
buy a new bath
just top and tail / sponge baby down for 2 weeks.

Blueuggboots · Today 08:24

Use a bucket!!!