AIBU - The Baby Bath Incident

[ExhaustedRaccoon]

SIL and I both have toddlers of a similar age ( only 3 months age difference) and I also have an 8 week old.

When the grandchildren were born, MIL bought lots of lovely baby things for us to share ( MIL lives abroad close to SIL and we are in the UK).

DP and I are currently on holiday and staying with MIL and DC. DS 2 ( the youngest ) has had severe colic and reflux and during the wee small hours of searching the internet, I read a nice warm bath before bed can sometimes relax the baby. At this point, I am willing to try anything. MIL only has a shower and a sit on things for the baby borrowed from SIL.

I remembered about the lovely bath with a pillow MIL purchased and asked where it was. She said SIL had borrowed it. MIL messaged SIL to ask if she could bring it back please. SIL said no, she still uses it. MIL explained our colic situation and how we are all incredibly sleep deprived and also how she is the one who bought the baby bath and she still refused to bring it back ( we are only here for two weeks so she would get it back!) she suggested we buy our own.

SIL has just moved house and has a lovely big bath in her second bathroom she could use for DN.

DP got a bit annoyed and messaged SIL saying he will come to pick it up himself and they ended up having an argument about it.

AIBU to think SIL is being incredibly unreasonable and childish about a bloody baby bath? Children’s things are not cheap here and we will only be using it for two weeks to try an ease a bit of pain for our DS2 which she clearly doesn’t care about!

SIL has made it abundantly clear you’re not getting the bath back. So you either bath the baby in the sink. Which is perfectly fine by the way. I bathed both mine in the kitchen sink for months. It’s safe. Clean and big enough and you’re not bent over.
Alternatively the baby doesn’t get a bath and you manage the colic in a different way.
Bathing isn’t going to help anyway. It never does.
And I agree with the others saying you’re fixated on the bath. You are and also unwilling to compromise by using the sink which is perfectly fine

So you’ve searched the thread for that answer but haven’t read the opening post closely enough to see the very clear answer to why she can’t do that. Makes sense!

I was fully with you until I read your comment refusing to bath your baby in the sink.
Jesus Christ. Just stop

Why are you assuming she travelled to Italy with a newborn and a toddler and enough empty space in her suitcase to fit a bath in it on the way home? Absolutly bizarre. Also that you assume with the woman with a toddler and a baby doesn’t have a baby bath in her own house already. What a weird poster

DIL took the bath when MIL came to stay with us for a few weeks, she did not ask and knew we were coming with DS1 2 months later and instead gave us a seat for him to sit on ( which she didn’t like) which at the time was fine as DS was older and found showering fun.

I wonder if she took it and sold it, hence not wanting to 'give it back', since things are expensive to get delivered to the area...

Partner has OCD and will not use the kitchen sink as obviously, it where dirty dishes are washed

Partner is in for a treat when a child shits in the bath

My bet is SIL sold the baby items and no longer has the bath

THERE IS NO BATH.

SIL "borrowed it" so why couldn't she buy her own too?

MIL bought it for her grandkids to use at her house and SIL pinched it, she should give it back when MIL asks and the fact that she is refusing (and her comments about her child hating baths and preferring showers) strongly indicates that she doesn't have it any more. So she took something belonging to her mother and either sold it, threw it or gave it away. She is a thief.

She's provably broken it, given it away or sold it and doesn't want to say.

Yep I fully agree there.

And seeing that it’s MIL, not hers, I think it’s crap.

I bet SIL sold the baby bath

Colic aside, was the plan to not bathe the baby for the two weeks while you're on holiday, or what was the plan?

I would sit on the floor in the shower with baby on my lap and run the warm water over their tummy, they get the soothing warm water and enjoy a cuddle with you at the same time.

Or the kitchen sink is fine. What would be on the dishes you have eaten on that would be dirtier than a baby's pooey bum?

Mountain out of a molehill. Don't use the sink then. Your choice.

To use the bath MIL bought for use at HER house. SIL nicking it is the issue!

We showered with our baby from day 1. Beautiful cuddles with water on their back and DH on hand to pass over to wash. We’ve had sit down feeding in the shower too, it was lovely. Nothing wrong with people suggesting sinks neither.

I think SIL has sold them/passed them on to others.

If theyre that expensive is there a second hand facebook page/swap forum you could buy a cheap one from for now. I do think its unreasonable for her to not share if she still has it

Hi op. Your SIL is being an unreasonable cow! Very mean and unfeeling of her. Is she like this generally or just in this instance? As her dd is 2 she doesnt need a baby bath anyway surely - especially as she has showers! Very weird.
Can you or your dh visit and ask (demand!) it back (given that it actually belongs to your mil) Actually if I was your mil Id be going over and insisting she gives it back.

She’s blatantly sold it but doesn’t want say that she’s profiting and flogging high quality baby gear that her mother bought to share with her brother.

I think SIL is being unreasonable if she still has it. A two year old could easily manage for a couple of weeks without a baby bath - if she is even still using it. if it was bought to share, the newborn should have priority.

But there comes a point where, no matter how unreasonable she is being, it becomes unreasonable to force the issue further, and it sounds as though you have reached that point. Yes, 25 euros sounds a lot for a plastic bath for two weeks, but it is not a lot to argue over in terms of creating a family furore.

But my guess is she sold it!

Oh 😱 I'd be absolutely terrified of dropping a slippery wet baby from adult standing height onto a hard floor. I'm getting cold shocks up the spine just thinking about it!😰I just couldn't bring myself to do that ...

Or did you mean sitting? That I could consider!

Why?
The bath belongs to the mother in law for use in her house when her grandchildren visit.
. The Sil took the bath to her own house when MiL was away. MiL wants it back so OP can bathe her 8 week old baby.
SiL won't return it even though her child is two years old and obviously too big to use a baby bath.
How can anyone be on the SiL's side?

Granted, it's a while since mine had a baby bath (27 years....got one for DS1, DS2 never used it because I was wise by then!), but I really don't think they fit in a suitcase. Maybe quite a large one, but it would be a complete waste of space.