Argh! So stressed, worried I am going to damage my DD emotionally :(

[dollydoops]

I have had a couple of months from hell. I am a teacher and at the end of May we were told that our school was closing on 10th July (private school). I am a single mum to my 6 year old DD and her dad lives abroad so I have her 100% of the time, no family who can have her at all, and she also went to my school so since the end of May I have had to find a new job and find a new school for her. I also don’t drive so this process has been extra difficult because I had to rule out various schools because they were impossible logistically.

After about 5 weeks of horrendous stress trying to keep going at school, comfort the students who were about to lose their school, comfort DD who was devastated while frantically job hunting and working a second job exam marking in the evenings as well to save up some extra money, I finally found a job and a school for DD. Unfortunately though, it requires us to move house.

So now, it’s the summer holidays and I am trying to
-pack up my house
-deal with all the moving admin
-sort out all the admin for DD’s new school, fill in paperwork/buy uniform etc
-attend interviews at the job centre because I am having to claim universal credit
-prepare for my new job in which I’ll be teaching lots of new things
-do online tutoring 5 evenings a week to supplement my income

and all of this while entertaining DD and trying not to spend too much money.

i am so very stressed that it is frightening me a bit. My fuse is incredibly short, I shout at poor DD at the drop of a hat and I keep crying. My scalp is flaky, my skin is breaking out and I am only sleeping about 5-6 hours a night despite being exhausted.

not sure what I’m asking for here but does anyone have any tips for reducing my stress levels? AIBU to be worried that DD will be traumatised by having such a stressed out, shouty mum? :( thanks for reading!

It might not be viable, but would it be something where you could send a (copied and pasted) message to them individually, or even add them to a group chat:

"Hey, I am so sorry to ask but I am totally maxed out at the moment what with the job change, school change and house move 😵‍💫😨. Would anyone be able to have <daughter> for a few hours on any of the following days <list days> - obviously realise people may be away/busy but an extra afternoon here or there would be so helpful as I really need to pack the house up! Thanks so much in advance and of course no worries at all if not!" And if you've sent it to multiple people separately add a sentence saying so so that they know you're asking others as well in case people offer the same day.

It might not work but I think if you're really up front and grateful then most people are happy to pitch in in circumstances like these.

Adding to the chorus of voices of WHAT a woman, what a powerful, resourceful woman.
I appreciate that every penny sounds like it counts right now. But how are you moving? Are you using a removal firm? If you are, in my experience it costs really very little additional funds for them to pack you, which they usually do in a day.
when I last moved, I found that it would have cost me the same (in bubble wrap and boxes) to pack myself as they charged me to pack (and they provided the boxes and bubble wrap.)
if you are hiring a removal company, have a really serious think about what this would mean for your stress levels. X
sending you so much support. This will soon be over.

Set a timer a few times a day for 5 minutes or so where you give her your full focus and be kind to her. I think that helps and is a small commitment.

Id break the day up
First thing spent dedicated packing time, dd to craft, colour or whatever you find. Charity shops are great for things like this.
then I’d go out, lots of free summer activities on and enjoy your time together. Build in a chore you need to do e.g. uniform
Afternoon have some quiet time where you both relax a bit
evening prep for new job time

I know money is tight but some removal firms offer a packing service. If you are struggling it might be worth checking that out.

Feel for you. You seem like a good mum so no worries on that score. I know you have to save money, but have you thought about only packing basic personal items and paying for the removers to do the packing? We did that when we moved and it took a lot of stress away. Also, ringfence a little time each day to do something you like doing. An hour if you can, but failing that, half an hour. Don't use it to do something you think will be 'good for relaxing' like yoga or listening to soothing music, (unless of course you enjoy these, in which case, brilliant! do them and enjoy). Instead, use this precious time for something you really like. Remember, life's hard at the moment but things can get better. Love and Best Wishes.

Wow I just wanted to say you sound amazing. You're doing a great job, I know it might not feel like if you can't see the wood through the trees. I think kids are quite resilient and I actually think long term it might be beneficial. I'm sure she'll be a strong lady like her mum.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm almost 40, and my mum still sometimes worries that I had a terrible childhood because I have an older brother who is profoundly autistic and non-verbal. Life was often chaotic, people stared at us, and she worries that she never had enough time for us.

Honestly, though, I had the best childhood. I don't have a bad word to say about either my mum's or my dad's parenting. I always felt loved, supported and happy, and I look back on my childhood with nothing but fond memories..

If you're worrying it's probably a good sign.

I’m saddened to read how difficult things have been for you, and I think you are doing an exceptional job of responding to the sudden closure of your school and all the linked upheaval to that.

You are doing everything you can for your child, making an incredible effort already to sort things out which were out of your hands.

I am sending you both my best wishes 💐

No advice but just here to say you sound like you’re doing amazingly and remember take some time for yourself once it’s all sorted and decompress xxxx

Just wanted to say that I’m
really touched by all the wonderful and supportive posts on here. Thank you so much to every one of you. You have made me feel less alone and maybe even a little bit proud of myself that I’ve been doing this alone.

You should be proud of yourself. You're doing so well.