It’s a hen party one. Annoyed my DSis

[Lau226]

DSis is 7 years younger than me and I’ve agreed to go on her abroad hen weekend next month. Every detail has been planned by her MoH and there’s an in depth itinerary.

Last night, MoH put a message in the group to say for 2 of the events (a meal and a beach club) there will be consistent outfits required, one of these will be swimwear.

She is ordering the swimwear and put a poll in the group to ask people to record their size.

I take issue with this because 1. The swimwear in question is a thong bikini and 2. I find it embarrassing to share my size in front of the group (I am larger than them all, which is why I mentioned the age gap).

I privately messaged MoH to say I’ll bring my own swimwear which will also be white so it matches.

Dsis called me an hour later (she’s not in the group) - she said that I should just wear it for the photo at the start and then change straight out of it l, that she wants me to get involved and she’d be gutted if I’m not in any photos and not matching. I shared why I’m reluctant but she’s having none of it.

Am I being awkward here? I feel like it’s a lot to expect. Before anyone suggests it, I can’t cancel and I will be going on the hen, she’s my sister and it’s paid for.

The only reason to insist on thongs is for a bum line up photo. And no way would I be part of that.

If your sister wants you to be part of the photo @Lau226 , suggest that it becomes a comedy shot, with the others lining up and you to the side, in a sarong, looking comedy shocked!

You write as if a "bum photo" would be a normal thing. For a thousand reasons, one could reasonably object to this request. Consent for example? Utterly ridiculous request, tell them you'll wear the swimwear you want to.

Or just refuse, so as to not normalise such idiocy?

I would firmly refuse. If a man was telling you that you had to wear something, that woukd be considered by any lucid woman to be controlling. This is the same.

Furthermore, if you go along with it, there will be photographic evidence of something you aren't happy with that will be distributed in a manner that you have no control over.

I would tell them it's not up for negotiation.

God I was fuming I was expected to wear black pyjamas on a hen do and a 'sexy' air hostess outfit on another...never mind a bloody thing!

Such a tacky waste of money.
say no very firmly and keep out of the photos if you prefer

Matching anything is tacky.
Nobody should be told what to wear.
Being bothered about group photos is ridiculous.
Wear whatever you want, OP, and ignore the childish messages.

So, not for a while then.

I wouldnt do it even then! I do not get my body out for SM, end of!

Jesus you’d think they were a lot younger than that with all that nonsense. Have you tried telling them to grow up? Trying to force a woman to wear a thong bikini? I’m assuming so that they can take photos from behind and post them? Does that not sound a little bit like coercion?

Totally get it. Age does unfortunately affect size for a lot of us.

This is absurd. I’d hate it. Lots of people feel self conscious in swimwear. And we are all different body shapes so some people will look fabulous in it and others won’t. I’d just opt out of those photos but say I can’t wait to be in the other photos.

In my age group, I’ve known abroad hens all have coordinated and matching outfits.

Matching “airport outfit” tracksuits to wear on the journey there. (Usually beige or light grey, with the bride in a white one)

Matching swimwear. Or atleast all the hens in the same colour.

A “sparkle” night, where they all go clubbing and have to wear something sequin/glittery. Or a “pink” night where they all have to wear something pink.

Personally I think it’s ridiculous. But it very much has become a “thing” here in the UK. It’s all for show, for Instagram and TikTok. I think it was started by influencers, possibly Americans and as always it becomes a trend over here.

I could look like a model and I still wouldn’t want my bum in a thong plastered all over social media. How embarrassing for these grown women that they need this type of validation.

A white bikini, absolutely not, a white thong bikini, good god no, and they want to take pics of people in them, running for the hills no!
You do not have to do this and it is good of you to offer a compromise. I hope they stop trying to pressurise you. Stand your ground OP

I’m missing the point of the thread but I just wanted to shout from the rooftops how shitty thong swimsuits look. They do look utter shit and are not flattering to literally any type. Seems like they’re quite popular amongst younger women and they just look utterly horrendous 🫣🫣🫣

But it’s such a waste of money and so sickeningly superficial. Just so there can be a load of fake perfect photos.

I wouldn’t wear a thong for anyone! So YaNbu. Your compromise of another white bikini was totally reasonable

I think @Lau226 should point out that trying to force someone to wear overtly sexual clothing so you can photograph their body and put it on social media without their explicit consent is probably edging towards breaking the law.

Tacky as fuck.

Hell I’m ok with my body shape and I will not be told what swimwear to wear under ANY circumstances.

This can’t be real…..

Jesus. Another one of those situations where the point seems to be the pictures rather than spending time with friends.
Just say you’re not wearing a thong or a bathing suit, but will wear a white top + shorts and stand behind someone. If that’s a dealbreaker then she’s too immature to get married

Are you the sister? Absolutely not. No one should be forced to wear thong bikinis if they don't want. And look up the word Karma

No adult woman should be bullied into making herself uncomfortable for a petty photo on the bridezillas social media. If the bride doesn't like it, take the opportunity to save a lot of money by telling her where to stick her hen party.

bridezilla alert

Perhaps if everyone got bum implants for the hen do, they would look better? They could get matching implant sizes.

Tell them to fuck right off, OP