AIBU to feel upset after hearing anti-redhead comments at library children’s event?

[future1]

I took my child to a baby and toddler event at the library this morning. There was a mum with her baby whose hair was starting to come through. She was telling her friends loudly how happy she was that her child wasn’t ginger because her husband had some redheads in his family and they were so worried about it.

All said in earshot of my red haired daughter. Luckily she was oblivious but she won’t always be.

This was in a very diverse part of SE London and the mum sounded educated and like she should know better.

I’m not from the UK and was aware of the bullying redheads faced here in the past but maybe naively thought those days were over. Is this what my daughter is going to have to live through here?

And if that woman is reading this, or her friends who laughed along - shame on you.

DD has red hair. It was admired when she was at primary school, was a regular source of needling and nasty comments at high school, barely commented on at college and now favourably received again!

https://open.spotify.com/track/6fR1D1JJdgN9XTVO5sDloq?si=fP8fnCjXT_Kgij5_U1RtiQ&utm_source=copy-link

I love this from Tim Minchin, who has ginger hair himself. The play on words with the anagram of ginger is so clever.

YANBU. What a nasty woman. I don’t even understand what some people have against red hair – I think it’s gorgeous and I dye my hair auburn.

How could 11% of posters possibly think you’re in the wrong? That is quite depressing to me.
YANBU.

Red/ginger hair is beautiful and unique. Some people are narrow minded and have fallen flock to absolute ignorant attitudes.

Op, please, if this happens again do confront her (or anyone) by asking loudly, “what worried you so much about having a red head?”. I bet her entire face would turn red and she wouldn’t turn up again. Some people have bloody audacity.

Is it offensive to say ginger? Getting mixed responses from this thread. I would normally use red or ginger interchangeably as thought it was just the same. (Not GinGer with a hard ‘G’ if that makes sense just like ginger biscuits).

Sorry that happened OP, awful and unacceptable.

Ginge or ginger is always used in the very worse of torments. No one calls out ‘redhead’!
Thats’s why I was always told to be proud of red, and to refuse ginger.

Thank you. Hadn’t thought of it like that.

How does antisemitism fit into it? I did check the wiki but can't see reference.

Eerrrrrr us redheads seem to have Irish or Scottish heritage!

There are definitely a fair amount of Ashkenazi Jewish people with ginger hair. I just would not associate ginger hair with them in the same way I would with Scottish people.

Two of my 3 daughters are beautiful Scottish redheads. I’m blonde and ex husband is dark haired.
Anyway, the impression I’ve built of what it’s like to be a redhead, is that adults will love your hair (especially older women!), but it’s a tough gig when you’re a kid!
My eldest has long, straight hair down to her bottom and she works in an airport. Tourists the world over admire her hair.

Youngest dyes hers blonde 😭

I have a red-headed child, he is my youngest of three and the other two were dark blonde. He definitely got much more attention from people when he was a baby/toddler than the other two, we took him to Portugal when he was about 14 months old and the locals were just fascinated. We are in Scotland though where red hair is not as unusual, he was one of three in his primary school class and never was teased for it.

It's not OK to comment on hair colour in this way, in the same way it wouldn't be OK to comment on skin colour.

And agree that it all stems from antisemitism and anti-Irish discrimination.

Can you explain the antisemitism bit?

Ashkenazi Jewish people - the group which originated in Eastern Europe, parts of what is now Russia, Poland, Baltic States, have red hair at a higher percent of the population than many other groups.

https://forward.com/culture/434304/on-national-redhead-day-explore-the-history-of-ginger-jews/

And because Jewish people typically marry within the community, red hair persists as it is a recessive gene meaning you need both parents to carry the gene to have a red headed child (and also explains why two of mine are blonde and one has red hair). In the 1890s/1900s there was a lot of emigration of Jewish people from the Pale of Settlement into Britain (and many then onto N America) and they were not universally welcomed. Just like the Irish immigrants fleeing the famine weren't universally welcomed 50 years before.

She has a thing about red hair, some people have really weird worries about what their baby will be like, they should just be grateful they are healthy, not worried about whether they will have a big nose like uncle Tom or flappy ears like their Grandfather. Just ignore.

Red hair is gorgeous. I think it probably actually stems from jealousy, it's far more interesting than blonde, brown or black hair. I wouldn't be slightly surprised to hear children mocking red heads, but to hear adults perpetuating it is quite shocking.

‘At war with’ is really not how I’d characterise England’s relationship with Ireland, ever.

Do countries have to be at war with each other to cause discrimination? Red hair was seen as being a symbol of "other". Whether it meant you were Jewish, Irish, Scottish or just an English person with red hair, it made you fair game to be discriminated against.

Most of us have moved on from these ridiculous attitudes, OP clearly came across an idiot who hasn't.

I was a redhead (pure white now) and I absolutely do remember the 'jokes' and teasing/bullying as a child. People can be pathetic.

Yes. Judas was traditionally depicted as red-haired. and centuries ago, 'Judas-coloured' was a synonym for red-haired.

And buck teeth. I had buck teeth and glasses at primary.

It's not as marvellous as you think....you basically called your unborn baby a c*nt!

This is not my experience, when I was growing up redheads were very bullied at my school in Scotland. I moved to England as an adult and my children say being ginger is cool and they view it very positively.

I don't think this is England vs Scotland, I just think it's that the discrimination has lessened over time.