AIBU to feel upset after hearing anti-redhead comments at library children’s event?

[future1]

I took my child to a baby and toddler event at the library this morning. There was a mum with her baby whose hair was starting to come through. She was telling her friends loudly how happy she was that her child wasn’t ginger because her husband had some redheads in his family and they were so worried about it.

All said in earshot of my red haired daughter. Luckily she was oblivious but she won’t always be.

This was in a very diverse part of SE London and the mum sounded educated and like she should know better.

I’m not from the UK and was aware of the bullying redheads faced here in the past but maybe naively thought those days were over. Is this what my daughter is going to have to live through here?

And if that woman is reading this, or her friends who laughed along - shame on you.

Fair enough. Do say something if you go back next week or whatever or see her again.

People have various things they like, and things they dislike.

Bullying isn’t ok, but having your own aesthetic is normal.

I’m not from the UK and was aware of the bullying redheads faced here in the past but maybe naively thought those days were over. Is this what my daughter is going to have to live through here?
I think they mostly are. It was horrific when I was a child, now it’s seen as beautiful and unique. I love it. I know a few children who have red hair and they’re often complimented on it.
She is a very small minded person. Ignore her.

That’s awful and so ridiculous 😔
I have a beautiful blue eyed, redhead, ginger whatever you want to call it, Dd
We live abroad and they love it here, all we ever get is compliments. We will return to live in the uk in a couple of years and i’m really worried about any negative comments as she’s not aware of any negativity and it would be upsetting 😢 no idea why the uk is still like that

So it’s ok to mouth off about how much you hate red hair, in earshot of someone with a red haired baby?

It’s so common. When I was born the midwife said “oh no she’s a redhead”

Sadly my daughter experienced significant bullying during primary school due to her red hair. We clearly spoke with the school but it never truly went away. I think that it's affected her ability to form friends. she has the most beautiful hair. It's very think, wavy and a deep red.

Why didn’t you just say ‘excuse me, do you mind?’

Not really ‘normal’ in respect of something completely natural such as a kid’s hair colour. And if you do find someone’s physical characteristics unappealing it’s best to keep that thought rattling round your head rather than voicing it, isn’t it.

I would have been SO jealous of her hair at school. I always wanted beautiful red hair. It’s so pretty and characterful.

Ahh this is sad. I have two gorgeous red heads and someone always comments on their hair colour - only ever positively though thankfully. We’ve not had any negative comments yet, but I do worry when my eldest starts school that some silly opinions from other kids might crop up.
It’s crazy because I know adults who have spent a fortune to dye their hair a similar gorgeous red colour like my sons! Hard to imagine anyone saying anything negative about such a striking colour.

There was so much anti red head when I was at school but my red head child has nearly finished primary and has never had comment. I think times have changed and this mum is clearly batshit.

You would think so but so many people don’t seem to have a mute button
like yes I know I’m pale, I own a mirror. No I don’t want to fake tan
red head bullying seems to be the last acceptable form of bullying that is somehow.. fine

I'm red. It's very marmite, people tend to either love it or hate it. I'm way past caring though.

I don’t think I would have been able to control myself saying something tbh and in front of all the other mums/her friends…it’s an awful thing to say

I had a student who did exactly the same dyed her hair black. After a couple of years she let it grow out and the ginger through the black was just stunning.

I have spoken to my dc after overhearing them talk negatively about red heads. They’ve certainly not picked this up from me. They are 13 though, so very immature at the best of times, and I keep addressing it with them until it sinks in. I would expect far better from a grown adult, especially one who is a parent.

I think red hair is stunning and would have loved it if one of my dc were a red head. I’ve never understood why red heads get so much stick. Surely as a society we should have moved past this kind of thinking by now.

It annoys me that it’s quite rightfully seen as wrong to be racist and comment on people based on skin colour etc, but it’s ok to have a good laugh or be unkind about people with red hair!
Where did it even start and what do people see as being wrong with it anyway?!

What were they saying and where did they hear it from?

Red hair is beautiful. Shame on those women

You could say, calmly, “How fortunate then that some of the classical painters didn’t feel like you otherwise we wouldn’t have masterpieces of art such as Millais’ Ophelia or Sargent’s Ellen Terry as Lady Macbeth.”

It makes me rage when people take the piss out of redheads or make redhead jokes. I am not a redhead and don't have any close to me so there is no personal reason for it to trigger me but it does. It is completely unacceptable.

Just proves that cuntery can pop up in every social strata. Hope her kids don't inherit it from her.

Well no, but that wasn't what you asked was it?

I was replying to your question...

"Is this what my daughter is going to have to live through here?"

There’s redheads on my partner’s side and her hair looked like it was going either red or blonde and the amount of people that asked “are you
hoping it doesn’t go fully ginger?” was ridiculous.

I just replied “are you hoping if she does go fully ginger I’ll forget you said that about her?”.

Women need to cut the shit commenting on other people’s looks, babies included.