AIBU to feel upset after hearing anti-redhead comments at library children’s event?

[future1]

I took my child to a baby and toddler event at the library this morning. There was a mum with her baby whose hair was starting to come through. She was telling her friends loudly how happy she was that her child wasn’t ginger because her husband had some redheads in his family and they were so worried about it.

All said in earshot of my red haired daughter. Luckily she was oblivious but she won’t always be.

This was in a very diverse part of SE London and the mum sounded educated and like she should know better.

I’m not from the UK and was aware of the bullying redheads faced here in the past but maybe naively thought those days were over. Is this what my daughter is going to have to live through here?

And if that woman is reading this, or her friends who laughed along - shame on you.

Mother of a redhead here and yes, people can be weird and rude. I have overheard comments like this but DS was oblivious - he did love tourists coming up and asking if they could touch his hair for good luck though!
He was never bullied at school but did have a nickname related to his hair but he quite liked it!
He loves his gingerness! Ignore the ignorant people and embrace the fact your gorgeous redhead will stand out from the norm of hair colours!

I'm not sure it is everywhere. I told a little girl the other day that she had the most beautiful hair I'd ever seen. She smiled and told me she knew because everyone told her so. Gorgeous dark ginger and wavy.

As a redhead I feel like we're the last group of people that it's still ok to insult and demean. You'd think it would be unacceptable these days but alas we're still fair game.

This anti-redhead attitude is a peculiarly English thing. What is the origin of it - when the English were at war with Scotland or Ireland?

As a red head, i have had this all my life! Its rooted in Irish immigrant racism! It should be a hate crime!

Blimey, you'll know if her mother's a MNetter as there'll be an angry thread along the lines of "AIBU to be fed up of people telling my daughter she's beautiful instead of smart?" 🤭

DD has inherited a reddish tingle to her hair from DH's side and I'm very much hoping it stays as her hair gets darker! So many people comment on how gorgeous her strawberry blonde hair is. I've always wished my hair was a more auburn shade of brown.

That woman's comment is what the phrase "What a strange thing to say" (delivered in a withering tone) was made for.

Having a redhead gt grandmother and MiL and her siblings ditto,I was hoping for redheaded children. Alas, mid brown.
SiL's 3 DC are 1 fair,1 dark brown and 1 redhead.
Something to do with recessive v dominant genes?

Red hair is lovely. Unfortunately, OP, thoughtless people crop up in places you least expect sometimes.

"Better to have lovely red hair than dodgy bleache blond with dark roots and day love." Was my comeback to a silly bitch who commented on a friend's hair years ago.
The dye job burst into tears, silly bitch. No I didn't and don't care she was upset.

Agreed. I’m fading now but cannot bear being referred to as “more blonde now” as if that’s acceptable and the red hair of 60 plus years not.
I was taught to never allow myself told be called a ginger, but be proud of my TITIAN red.
But I am glad neither child lived with the mocking.

I’m a redhead and was bullied relentlessly from aged 13 to 18. It has affected my adult life significantly. I still struggle around large groups of women my own age as it all comes flooding back.
i only had compliments up to the age of 13 and as soon as I left school it was all positive again. But maybe that’s because I went to Scotland where no one even noticed my hair!
I think unfortunately this is a thing that won’t go away. I was hoping things had improved. I was at school in the 90s and I think it was at its height.
I’m ashamed to say that I was relieved that neither of my children have red hair. I don’t think I could have gone through it all again.

Just try to teach your daughter that some people are horrible and she shouldn’t listen to them. I like red hair. My husband has a sibling with red hair and I was sort of hoping one of my children would have red hair too because i think it’s lovely. But they both have light brown hair, which is lovely too, but it wouldn’t have bothered me one bit if they had red hair.

I’m a redhead and had a comment when pregnant saying with any luck the baby would escape inheriting my hair colour. I replied that with any luck they wouldn’t be a cunt who commented negatively on others’ physical appearance. It was the only time I ever had a zinger like that on cue, it was marvellous.

It’s depressing reading these stories and I’m sorry so many of you have had to deal with ignorant dickheads.

Oh ffs I hate when people do this! What an idiot. You won’t be the only one who thought this.

Also I genuinely dont get it as red hair is GORGEOUS

I’m sure your daughter’s hair is beautiful, though she can change it if she ever wants to.
unfortunately for some people they will
always be a stupid
cunt and nothing can be done to change that 🙂

That may well be part of it, but there seem to be other strands to it including antisemitism. One reason this form of bullying is commoner in the U.K. may simply be because we’ve got the highest proportion of redheads I suppose.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discrimination_against_people_with_red_hair

I remember at one toddler group someone said to me that my children “were tarnished by the fiery stick” because both had red hair. I was so taken aback and lost for words but my DH replied “funny, I was just thinking how blessed they are to have amazing genetics” or something like that, she didn’t know where to look. Every time someone mentioned their hair after that I shot whoever it was down. I couldn’t believe people would comment on the colour of children’s hair negatively.

It’s bizarre how loved and revered it is where we are, it’s very much admired, my Dd has had mainly women & girls openly gushing and saying how cute/gorgeous she is, does not happen when we come back

I'm a natural red head (71 now so its dyed the same colour) and I can't say I remember any really unkind remarks only unfunny jokes like do I have a fiery temper to match.. Of course, if people do it's unacceptable.

I’ma ginger and all 4 of my grand sons are ginger. Sadly it’s still awful in lots of placees for kids boy less for a adults

My niece has red hair, it’s beautiful, thankfully more common in Scotland and has never had anything but positive comments

I find that bizarre.

It’s the last “acceptable “ form of ism. Red head here and I have to hear it daily