to think a lot of men will not marry if they already get everything?

[Pinkshocks]

If he is already getting everything on a plate, a committed partner, a sexual relationship, children, someone to split the bills with, emotional support and a family life, all without making any legal or lifelong commitment, why would he change anything?

I know this does NOT apply to every couple or to ALL men. Some people genuinely do not want to marry and both are happy with that. But if one person wants marriage and the other keeps putting it off year after year, are they really going to change when they are already getting everything they want?

Why would someone buy the ticket when they are already getting the whole show for free?

It’s called future faking isn’t it? And the women tend to stay with these men (mainly men let’s be honest) because of the kids.

Not according to the majority.

The women didn’t have to have the kids first though.

Of course not but a future faking man can be very convincing!

I know lots women who don’t want to get married. It’s not necessary these days.

Most women who want to get married are low earners who want access to their partners finances.

Brexit.

Still sexist claptrap though.

’getting it on a plate though’? As if the other person (woman) is a stupid mug? The partner is also getting the same! Why is being married still seen as a prize? That somehow the relay is superior and more loving?

I never understand how some men view marriage as a bigger (and less attractive) commitment than children. A marriage can be ended, but children tie you to someone for life

No living together? No sex? So the only women worthy of marriage can only have sex with one person in her whole life? How can you be serious?

So I am married but I don't think this is true at all. I think men will typically be more enthusiastic with marriage if you do it early on in the relationship, even overlapping with the honeymoon phase. After that it can be harder to motivate men to do the wedding. I've known a number of women who had to issue an ultimatum which 9 times out of 10 results in agreement to marry, and 1 times out of 10 a split. Essentially most women will have to push for it and take the initiative. The other window of opportunity is when all his friends / brother and so on get married that often prompts them or if they know other men are interested and sniffing around and they realise they need to lock you down.

If you want marriage but aren't assertive enough to push for it, if he feels like he has the upper hand (financially, socially and so on) or that you aren't at risk of being wooed away by another man he probably feels like he doesn't need to do the whole wedding thing just yet or ever.

Some men also just hate the idea of a big wedding but would happily do a small private one but the woman wants a big day and that becomes a sticking point.

Also - assuming the woman wants to get married.

So are you suggesting you don’t have sex until marriage?

Or you don’t live with someone until marriage?

How do you know you are fully compatible, this outdated nonsense is why so many women got trapped with shitty men and bad relationships in the past. Because once they were married it was too late.

Exactly I would want a full test drive thanks.

Did you consider that there is a cost associated with marriage and that for some people it isn’t worth that because the money could be better spent on family life, and buying a house etc. this could be why they aren’t marrying

They obviously have no idea about the joys of Inheritance tax etc then

Becoming married does not cost much at all. You are confusing a wedding with the legal part.

It's about both respect and self respect. It's also about the demonisation of marriage. A good institution of equals.

Also, if you are not married don't give kids their fathers's name. Make the choice of which name to give kids based on how much commitment they have and how committed you are to your given surname.

Sounds like this thread isn’t for you.

Im not married, there wont be any IHT to pay.

The point is that if marriage is important to you, do not keep giving someone everything they want for years while hoping they will eventually commit.

Marriage is cheap. The fancy party and big venues are not.

it is some of the full test drive women wondering why their partner won’t commit even though they bought a house and had children together.

But at least they got their test drive first 🤣

This is how I feel, too.

Why do you associate marriage with commitment? Plenty of husbands are very uncommitted.

My partner asked me what order I wanted to do things in. We were late 20s and I said house of our own before kids, then start trying as who knows how long that would take. We were already engaged. Got pregnant straight away and well over a decade later marriage is not in sight. Ring doesn’t fit any more. He’s not interested, blames finances, gets defensive, even when I repeat I’ve never wanted a big wedding. I wish I’d run a mile but I’m trapped now.