AIBU to think that I'll regret this forever?

[Unsurewhattodo122]

Me and DH are lucky enough to have one wonderful son who we had after 2 years of trying (and medication as I've got a pituitary tumour that made me infertile). He's 6 now. When we tried for a second, it then turned out DH had extremely bad sperm quality. We were told we'd need ICSI which would a) bankrupt us and b) be a bit risky for me with the hormones plus I'm terrified of the process.

However - I've never fully gotten over it and feel guilty 24/7 that DS doesn't have a sibling. I'm 38 now and time is running out and I've just heard that my neighbour is pregnant with her third, I just feel like crying.

I kind of feel I'll regret it my entire life if I don't do something drastic now and try to get pregnant, at the same time I don't have the money or headspace for ICSI (I've got a history of anxiety so I don't think I could actually cope) , please tell me if I'll ever get over this!

Enjoy your only child.

I am an only child and can honestly say the only time I wished I had a sibling was when I had to clear and sell my parents' home following their death. I was 67 at the time so had managed all those years without wishing for a second I had a sibling!

Edited to add

I was unable to have children and feel no guilt at not providing my parents with grandchildren.

Being alone isn't about siblings. You can build all kinds of relationships. In some ways having no siblings you have to make the effort.

Many siblings don't speak. You now already have a big age gap so that can make it much harder in terms of having that friendship.

You could have a sibling who unfortunately has a disability or additional needs. And you then set up your son as potentially their carer when you are gone.

The point is - you don't know. You are making a massive gamble if you roll this dice.

A gamble that is as likely to go horribly wrong as give you this perfect dream you want.

And what if you do get what you want and it doesn't fill that desire you feel now? Then what?

Every moment now you could be relishing now you somehow let pass by because you don't let yourself enjoy it because you are almost not in the moment to enjoy it because you are so busy looking elsewhere.