To tell people we're still renting when we bought outright.

[TheChosen]

DH and I recently moved house. Our previous house was a rental and we lived there for almost a decade. The old house was a small 2 bed flat where we lived with our 2DC.

The old rent was way below market rate as we had lived there for so long. We sacrificed living and outdoor space a little longer than we probably should have for the financial security and to allow us to build our savings. The smaller home/outgoings also allowed me to cut my hours to part time while the children were younger so we were happy to make the sacrifices as the benefits outweighed the cons.

Our local area is mostly made up of large new build houses that cost above average for the city we live in. All of our acquaintances and friends have much larger homes than us, and were often surprised when they discovered we lived in such a small, modest flat. Especially as we both have 'good' careers.

We have a combined income of approx 80-95k (depending on bonuses) and have managed to save a good chunk for a house deposit. The market has been terrible for a while and we haven't found anything we like, so decided to also look for bigger rentals to give us a little more space while we house hunt.

A 3 bed rental came up locally and we went for it. After a month of living there, the landlord had some major family issues and notified us they would need to sell unexpectedly. We still hadn't found a place to buy that we liked, then the landlord made us a great offer to buy our current place.

The cost of the house was less than our saved deposit so we decided to make a cash offer and buy the place mortgage free. The deal is finally complete and we are really happy here.

Here's the AIBU. Anytime someone finds out we've moved, the first question they ask is if we are still renting or have bought. I don't know why, but it's really bugging me. Never would it cross my mind to ask someone their renting/home owner status. I'm finding it very intrusive.

Would they still be asking this question if we had previously lived in a similar home to theirs? Do they see us being 'beneath' them for being renters rather than owners?

The first few times I was asked I simply changed the subject and didn't answer, but it keeps happening. These people aren't even close friends, just local acquaintances.

I've eventually started telling them we are still renting as I feel telling them we bought outright would open the door to even more uncomfortable questions.

Is it me, or is it intrusive of people to ask someone (that they don't know very well) this?

My real friends haven't once asked my rental/owner status. Why do random people seem to think they have a right to this knowledge?

AIBU to find this question intrusive and unnecessary?

yup, me too. I have rarely had to use it but "why do you ask" stops it dead.

Yes, I do this for every house I think I'm serious about putting an offer in for. I pay for both the title register and the title plan. It saves a lot of time and hassle if you do your research before offering (I once found out that a house in London that we really wanted had been registered improperly, so that although the house was freehold, as were all the other houses in that terrace, the roof space, where the plant for the building was put, was registered still under the builder's name, not the owner of the house!). So, we would have ended up owning a freehold house but not the roof space!

Once a title is registered, it cannot be "unregistered" so the only option would have been to add a note to the register, and hope that the next person we sold to would not notice (or their solicitor!).

So we walked away from that one in a hurry! If I hadn't paid the £7 for the title plan, it would have been hundreds of pounds in solicitor's and surveyor's fees before we had found out. It turns out the vendor and estate agent knew already, but of course thought we'd never check.

The title register will also tell you who actually owns the property. If the estate agent tells you that it's owned by five siblings, because probate has cleared, you can check the register. If it still says "owner is Mrs. Old Lady" then you know it's likely that it hasn't cleared probate yet. (caveat: Land Registry has a backlog of work, so the Title you download from the website may not be 100% current, but the plan should be).

Always buy the register and plan!

As other PPs have said, it should also mention "charges" - especially if there is a mortgage company involved. If there isn't, then it's likely that the house was bought outright, or the mortgage has been paid off.

OP, we bought my current home outright, because I sold my house in the UK, and my late husband sold his in Germany, so we had enough to "downsize" although it's still quite a big house. People buy outright for lots of reasons. I wouldn't worry about it.

It’s conversation op, it’s not them asking for your bank statement- they’re not asking how much you pay/ paid etc but you’re possibly afraid it’ll go there and you’ll tell them your mortgage free and they’ll make assumptions you’re rich etc etc. just say yes we bought, we love it etc!! Own it!!

Oh feck that.
I would not be able to stop myself saying.
"We saved hard whilst in our flat and have bought the house outright, thanks for asking."

Agree. I always buy the register and plan before viewing!!

People are nosy op. I have owned then rented and it seemed to be looked down upon. I think only those who have rented will possibly have experienced this. In the uk buying a home is seen as an achievement. Although many are buying homes with money that is from inheritance etc. You have saved hard to buy your home enjoy it and you don’t need to tell anyone your story.

In the US, yes, depending on state laws, it will tell you if there is a mortgage, and also how much the mortgage is for. Not every state will allow this, or even allow it to be viewed online, but some states do.

"Caveat emptor" does not apply in most states. Sellers are required to declare nearly EVERYTHING (except, for some weird reason, and only in certain states, whether or not the property has ever flooded. You must ask. If you ask, they must tell the truth). There's a lot more "comeback " in the US on sellers, even after the property has changed hands, so sellers have to be upfront.

Buyers, however, have to put down a deposit with the offer (nominal), then a full deposit (around 10-20% of the purchase price), which binds them for a certain number of days. If you pull out before then, you are refunded. If you pull out after that date, you lose your deposit.

In the UK, the Title will name a mortgage company if there is one (if the register is up to date), but not the amount of the mortgage.

This feels silly and odd to me. Just tell people you rented it, the landlord wanted to sell and you bought it from him. It’s really not that deep.

Pretty standard when you have moved to asked if you brought or renting.

I'd ask a friend who had rented because saving and buying your first home is an achievement and I'd want to congratulate them for it. You're over thinking it. "Funny story we rented then bought it" no big deal. Normal people don't usually go as far as asking about finances. Maybe they just want to be happy for you? It actually is an amazing achievement that you saved enough to buy outright, that's wild! Well done.

Yes its chit chat isnt it?

Although I dont know that various random people ask me if I own or rent my house, friends yes, but OP says this isnt her friends.

Yeah, it's just small talk / conversation. Being able to buy is a good news story.

It's a big life event buying your first house. So I think it's just people find it natural to ask. It also affects how much work you will be able to do on the property, so will change chat about new kitchens or having to fix the roof.

I find this way of thinking really odd. Who cares if you've bought the house, truly? Any friends of mine who've managed to get onto the housing ladder I've been really pleased for and couldn't wait to go around for a cuppa and to admire.

Everybody talks about the struggles of buying a house getting the mortgage waiting for the survey that’s normal small talk so you would know when friends had bought rather than move to another rental. All you need to do is say the truth you were renting but the landlord of to sell it to you and you bought it.

It's called conversation.
It's this sort of sensitivity that makes me worried about even opening my mouth these days, seriously nothing seems to be immune from a "tactless" interpretation from someone or other.
After this thread Im starting to worry about being a bitch just for saying hello to anyone for fear I even do that in the wrong way!

Oh! I meant to say I wouldn't lie!

we have rented 5 times and the issue has never arisen

as i said upthread, have rented 5 times and the question never arose.

Perhaps in your situation people already knew you were renting so no point asking. In the OPs case she had probably been talking about buying a house as they had been looking so it’s not an unreasonable question at all. If someone is trying to buy their first home, they usually tell you about it because it’s a milestone and achievement - if you had never mentioned it people would just assume you are still renting so no point asking

It's just conversation. I don't know why you're being so weird about it. Just tell people you bought it. Who cares either way?

I think you felt weird about renting and have projected it onto other people. In reality, nobody gives a shit.

nope I can't see how they would have done. We weren't in rental houses and nobody knew us.

OP. The question says more about the person asking than the answer will ever say about you!

Just say you bought it. I’d be really surprised if they then went on to ask the loan to value ratio