AIBU to expect my mum to cancel her gym session to look after my kids?

[Mkxxx]

For context: I (34F) have two boys (3 and 11m). I have help from my mum once a week on a Tuesday. 8am-5pm she’s at my house. All the other days I get no help and no help from my MIL either. I have managed my maternity pretty much on my own with my husband in the office 5 days a week. It has been hard with a baby and a toddler. My son only recently turned 3. Anyway I never bug my mum to come outside of a Tuesday because honestly it’s just hard work and not worth it. However right now I’m very ill. She knows I’ve been unwell too. I don’t ask anyone to help me unless I’m desperate. So I asked my mum last night to come today. She said she can’t come until the afternoon when most the day has gone because she has the gym. I asked if she could miss it this once since I never ask like this and she said no. Now im feeling so much anger because the lack in inflexibility shocks me. If my child had asked me for help I would go! Also she doesn’t work and retired to ‘look after her grandchildren’. So am I wrong for feeling annoyed and upset?

Yeah OP go NC, your mother has no time for you! Refuse the whole day babysitting on a Tuesday! She once refused a mornings babysitting, she deserves that!

Not loving and caring over a mornings babysitting?

But just how ill are you OP? My definition of ‘very ill’ means literally not being able to interact with anyone or anything, yet here you are posting a lot on MN. I would say if you’re able to sit venting on MN, with quite long answers, then are you really so ill that you need help? Maybe your mum also wonders whether your illness is such that you need someone there. Maybe you have form for being overdramatic when feeling unwell……we don’t know.

A bit harsh - what are family for, if not to help each other, in time of need l would cancel any arrangements and help out my dc.

I think a lot of mothers would have cancelled gym, but I don't think that Op's mum saying she wanted to do gym & would go later than Op wanted is so awful either.

My DH would be the same, he would cancel work and look after me and DC, I mean that’s what family is for!

Well good for you.

Waiting tol after your mums gym session wont kill anyone.

My dad has been an amazing help looking after both my wee ones at various times but I wouldn't usually ask him to do extra. If we are ill he sometimes wouldn't want to come as he doesn't want to get ill himself, which is completely understandable as he's older and has his own life. You and your partner have to work it out.

It was part of the expectation when we decided we wanted children.

Shame others don’t do the same, instead of expecting “women” in the family to do their job.

OP, never bring a question like this to mumsnet again. YANBU but on here expecting help from family is not a topic that goes down well. I can tell from the polls that you have been called all types of entitled and that your mother doesn’t even have to do that one day she does.

I would have done this for my daughter in a heartbeat and I am not in great shape. YANBU.

She does get help from family, every week from her mother!

She’s moaning she doesn’t get enough help, but excuses get DH, who I assume is part of the family?

Asking is absolutely fine. Whining on the internet if the request is refused and about being entitled to first dibs on your retired mother’s time isn’t fine. It’s not that complicated.

Where did I say she doesn’t get any help?

She’s “moaning” that she’s not getting with this specific time when she’s sick.

Clearly EYE don’t mind her whining. That’s not complicated to get either.

Your choice to have kids so close together. Get on with it. No one owes you anything

EYE 👁️?

I’m a grandmother and would have helped you op.
On this site there is a very weird sense that families don’t help each other.

She did offer to help...

I don't understand how this is so difficult to comprehend. She agreed to help, just asked that she could come later.

It feels very begrudging to do that.
I don’t understand why you are so tetchy.

OP refused the help she was offered! Can’t have been that unwell.

🤣🤣🤣

The PP is “tetchy”, because you’re not?

Drink more cheap pink wine. Dear me.

Oh what a lovely granny you are, I expect your DGC learn lots from you….

Dear me, how hilarious a woman your age giving out such petty insults!

Try working through your anger, the gym might help? A good routine will really help.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

There's a couple of very tetchy posters who I would guess never help out their own family or no one ever helped them except these alleged husbands who drop everything to run home everytime their dw has a headache.

In the real world any parent would forego a gym sesh to give their dc a hand.