DD and friend had drinks spiked, now in ITU AIBU?

[Pissedoffmama]

My Dd had her drink spiked last night.
Im sitting in ITU.
I have sons……. But wtf goes on in men’s heads.
For completeness, her best friend, was also spiked, but is not as poorly.
police are being crap.
Just why????

The only way you could keep your attention on your drink 100% of the time is if you are a sheep dog and the drink is a ball.

I am so cross with the posters trying to put responsibility on the person being spiked for not paying attention. No. The people committing this crime shouldn’t be doing it.

OP if you haven’t been put off by the goady fks on this thread by now, I hope your DD makes a full recovery. So scary for her and you. Take good care of yourselves as it will have been a real shock.

It is not at all common. It’s virtually impossible to do unnoticed.

Quite often the drug leaves the body very quickly leaving no trace, that’s if they’ll test at all.

I would say less goady and more completely stupid and naive.

You cannot. This does not exist. You may be able to buy something that claims it can, but there is no product that has been formulated and tested/approved.

OP, we had a spate of this in our local town and the police DID take it seriously. Contact the Police and Crime Commissioner, and get other girls & their families to. Do not underestimate the power of social media. Name the bar where it happened. Most places now have security, if not they are part of a pub/bar group who pass information to each other. Make noise, a lot of noise. This is what they did in our town and it turned out that the perpetrator was a bar man. Not all men are like this. Good men are fathers, brothers, uncles and grandfathers they would not think this is common and would be very protective.

Twenty years ago I used to socialise with some young police officers. A girl we all knew ended up in a&e after her drink was spiked. Their attitude, was summed up as “thank goodness nothing serious happened” and we could not seem to convey to them that this was a serious thing.

It’s really disappointing It’s bloody infuriating to think nothing has changed, in this regard. Men understand violent assault and rape as crimes, but cannot instinctively grasp that the simple principle of bodily autonomy, applies to women just as much as it applies to their car,

I would be making a complaint to the police to be honest. Police where I am have really cracked down on it, even where ultimately no “harm” is done. Even if they can’t do anything, in our area since they’ve cracked down incidents have apparently dropped because they know it’s taken seriously.

Their job would be a start.

@TheReflectiveQualityofGlass The only way you could keep your attention on your drink 100% of the time is if you are a sheep dog and the drink is a ball.

When I used to drink, I always kept my attention on my drink, 100% of the time. It was always in my hand, and anyone else coming near it and touching it would have been immediately noticeable. Always took my drink into the toilets. If we ever did have to leave a drink (for some reason), we would always say to a friend to watch our drink. It was just something we always did without thinking about it.

What drug is in their system?
make sure the bar preserve the CCTV and put a complaint in if the police haven’t done anything to investigate

God. It must have been the bar staff then, surely! Although, is she sure there was no one next to her? It takes a split second to put something in a drink. Or, were they somewhere else before, and it happened then? Maybe it takes a while to work.

Regardless, the bar should have CCTV.

My friends drink was spiked at a private party in someone home. She was 40 and teetotal. her DH said she was hallucinating. What kind of a sick middle aged bastard does that in a private residence.

I had my drink spiked at 19. One minute I was chatting to a male acquaintance at the bar and the next I woke up in my bed with one shoe on. What the creature hasn't realised was that my boyfriend (now DH) was there chatting to other friends so saw me collapse, picked me up and carried me out to his car.
The bouncers didn't stop him carrying me out though, he could've been anyone.

This is awful! Happened to me when I was in 6th form, it was the first drink of the night and I stepped down onto the dance floor and collapsed. Luckily I had really responsible friends who got me home but they didn’t call for medical help because we were underage. All ended well as I hope it will for your daughter.

on the police, be as firm as possible. I’ve been threatened 3 times (once with a knife) in the past 2 years by men and the met have been completely useless. Never bothering to turn up or call when they say they will, they clearly couldn’t care less. I was flashed with my toddler when 8 months pregnant and when I called him out he threatened me, and they said ‘there’s not really much we can do about that’. I did politely remind them how it ended when they ignored flashing - didn’t go down well. Be like a dog with a bone, keep calling, this is easy all they need is the CCTV of their faces then one of those facial recognition units out in the town centre. But they won’t…..

Well, society is a lot less safe than it was a few decades ago. There are more people, there are drugs, knives, lots of family breakdown, fewer prospects for many, fewer things to occupy the disaffected, a massive gap between the haves and the have-nots. In the past, young men had to do military service and there were manufacturing jobs. Today, those young men are often not in work or training.

And we have changed from a society with lots of rules about how to treat each other into a me-me-me-first society, and we have a lot of people from cultures who don't respect women. I'm not saying I want to go back to the days when women just stayed at home and had babies, and had little means of independence, but it was certainly a gentler time in many ways, with a lot less crime. Then we decided that we wanted to let it all hang out instead of living in a conformist society, and now we can all be who we are, which is a marvellous thing. But along with the dismantling of yesterday's social norms comes bad things, too.

I am really, really sorry for your poor daughter and her friend. How every frightening for them. How is the friend doing?

@Pissedoffmama Make sure the bar doesn't wipe that CCTV! They often keep it for a short time and then tape over it. You or the police need to call them asap and tell them not to scrub it.

Sometimes people do it out of spite and to have a laugh seeing someone lose control- it’s not always a sexual motive behind it. I was spiked back in the 90s when I was in my early twenties- in a small wine bar one summer evening. It was a terrible experience and I always had a suspect in mind who did it - because that person regularly dealt drugs at the time.
I sincerely hope you daughter is better in a day or so. I certainly wouldn’t hold up much hope with the police. x

Hi Op Dreadful circumstances I hope that things are improving now. You need to phone 101 or visit your local Police Station and ask for an appointment with the Duty Inspector, my guess is that you are misdirected by no qualified staff. This is the only way forward to gather the evidence.
Good luck.

By a woman??! Good God. Just when you think you've heard it all!

Mind you, I don't know why I'm surprised. There was a case a few years ago in Dagenham where a woman put a veil on and threw acid in the face of her friend. The motivation was jealousy over her looks, according to the evidence presented in court.

And get this - after she'd thrown the acid, she sent the victim a card that said "Happy birthday, Beautiful"!!!!

Why not check CCTV at the bar? Is there any?

CCTV in a bar is usually a condition of licensing rules. Go to licensing authority and high management of the bar not the bar itself

a friend of mine got spiked on his stag night and nearly died because one of the bar staff though it was a laugh and would give him a good time

My friend's son was found dead in a hotel room with so much ghb in his system he could never have survived. The police let the men with him leave and subsequently " lost" all the evidence. The police do not care.
Google Edward Cornes.

Oh such a worry. Only way they can ensure drinks are safe these days is to buy capped bottles and take their own bottle opener to remove the caps themselves. Then never leave their drinks unattended. Far too dangerous to take any risks these days. Hope they are both OK.

What drug was it OP?