AIBU - Not allowing school to film my child?

[GlasgowANN]

AIBU? My child is at a summer club and they want to take photos and videos of the kids. I've said absolutely no way. They then said my child would have to sit out whenever they were filming, which I'm not happy about because I don't think they should miss out. Now they're saying they just won't take any photos or videos of any of the children because of it, so everyone misses out. AIBU for not allowing my child to be filmed?

YANBU. You have booked and paid for a holiday club, not signed your DC up for an advertising campaign. IME the company do not want to take these photos out of the kindness of their hearts to keep parents happy and updated, they want them for free advertising to plaster here, there and everywhere.

I'm 100% with you not wanting them filmed .. but surely you should accept they will just have to sit out if things are being filmed. You can't have it both ways!?

Where are the pictures for?

I would be upset if because of 1 parents no video/pictures were taken off my children. If they were just for use of sending them to the parents. for social media I would be a bit more wary

I feel sorry for the club, people like you make such a nightmare for anyone to run activities that at the end of the day you benefit massively from, maybe next year they wont organise it and you can do your own childcare.

when creeps get images of children maliciously, they aren’t really interested in their faces and can edit different faces onto the body anyway.

Surely that is the exact reason why the important part is the face? In which case blurring or a sticker is enough.
Because, unless the child has a very obvious sign on their body that separates them from others (let’s say they have a limb missing), the body doesn’t matter.

I enjoyed the photos sent from school trips and activities, saw no problem with it.

Are you saying the same thing to schools too? Or do you accept that they manage to get photos wo asking the children that can’t be photographed to sit out?
Do you also accept that not all children will show on the photos anyway?

The focus of the club should be on the activities, not the filming. What do they plan to do with the video? No child should miss out because of filming. Are they very young kids? As a parent of an older child I’ll happily see photos but video isn’t necessary.

Nobody has said there aren't valid reasons to not want your child photographed, literally nobody.
The issue is the OP didn't want their child 'missing out' whilst the photos or video were being taken of children who's parents wanted the photos. So as a result no photos or videos will be taken. So all those parents who actually wanted a photo for keepsake could not have one, so the OP could avoid explaining to their child why they would have to sit out the group photo.

what this boils down to is the OP didn't want their child to feel they were missing out on something, when that something was something their parent didn't want them to do. As a result, no child got to do it.

There were several looked after children in sons school and school run summer club; they didnt have to sit out when videos (or photos) were being taken, the person doing it just kept them off camera.

@Wishingitwaswinter

I’m aware someone could take photos at a beach or swimming pool but I don’t think “it might happen somewhere else” is a reason to stop caring about the situations we can control.
If I can reduce the chances of my child’s photo being shared more widely without my knowledge or consent, I willI. Every parent has their own boundaries, and I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

And each parent makes an informed decision based on that and other information. This is not the issue here. Nobody has any problem in regard to the decision made to not have photos. The reasons for that decision by a patent are always valid, whatever they are and are nobody's business apart from the parent and not open to question.
The issue here is that if you make that decision as a parent is it reasonable to then expect no photos of children that parent's have consented to be photographed, because your child will be 'missing out' when they are being taken.
The debate on reasons for a decision to give or not give consent is just a smokescreen.

They should take the photos and delete any with your child in before sharing them. It's not hard, many places do it. They can do better than sitting out too whilst they do videos, have them in groups, remove bits they are in.

I mean surely advertising is pretty important for any paid activity provider.

Many LAC or children under a protection order cannot be filmed or have photos taken. These children can't be excluded from activities either but you can be creative with the grouping for filming. Actual schools are very used to this.

YANBU. There are all sorts of reasons not to want to. Excluding children from activities due to consent not being given is against any guidelines (eg NSPCC) that I'm aware of.

You didn't mention whether this is for future marketing, general social media, or private sharing to parents (hopefully they told you which...) but frankly they need to have a policy that copes with consent not being given, and it basically comes down to framing pictures carefully and/or mixing up groups from time tom time so shouldn't need activities being done twice.

In my school we had a massive fancy dress celebration with a whole school choreographed dance to finish.

We took pictures all through the day.
Always careful to not include children without permission. No problem.

We finished with the video.
It was something the parents were really looking forward to seeing.
We danced twice. First all together and then I removed the kids who couldn't be filmed. None of them cried or protested or showed any signs of " missing out"

Hundreds, literally hundreds of parents got to see the video of the final act.
Should those hundreds have had to miss out for less than a dozen who do not wish their children to be filmed????
The majority of the parents who do not give permission absolutely understand the situation and don't mind at all that their child is moved out of the way of the camera.
Is there a screamy shouty family like OP who complain unreasonably? Yes. Tough titty. The kid is fine. No complaints. It's literally just the mother.
Am I going to allow them to dictate what we do as a school?
No. But I can understand the schools who just give in, because this type of parent is relentless.

Why on earth would you need photos and videos of your child at a summer club? Why do parents need photos and videos of bloody everything?

Drives me crazy. It's like trying to choose a nursery all over again. NO I DON'T WANT AN IPAD CONSTANTLY SHOVED IN MY KID'S FACE SO I CAN SEE THEM ON A SWING/EATING A BREADSTICK/PAINTING... I TRUST YOU TO JUST TELL ME IF I NEED TO KNOW? Baffling.

Are you sure that would be the case if you were charging them for it? It’s all free on social media too- the OP is the only one looking out for her child in this scenario. Why does a club have to take pictures anyway? What happened to letting children just play, why do they need to take part in photo shoots for social media and feeding AI?

I think it depends on the activity at the club. If it's a musical theatre summer camp and they want to film the whole performance so parents can share with family members, and they want to run the whole show with your child stepping out then you have a big issue.
If it's a general activities kind of camp and they want some footage of the kids messing round with nerf guns or take a big team photo, and for your child to briefly step to the side then fair enough.

I really can't believe this is the first time the camp have experienced a child opting out of photos. It really is very common nowadays. I would guess at least 10% of kids.

They could use their own kids, or friends'/families' kids, or even pay some child models. They could offer reduced/free places on the camp in exchange for some advertising images.

As an adult, I don't expect to be used as free advertising when I'm participating in an activity and I wouldn't want my child used for that purpose either. You've paid for the activity, you're a consumer, not a product.

There are a lot more risks then just indecent images, AI or anyone can quickly find photos of children on the internet. It doesn't have to be for anything sadistic, but those images could be used for anything and I wouldn't want the risk of pictures of my children being used by anyone else. It could be as simple as someone finding an image for a presentation they need. But if photos are uploaded to the internet then they can be accessed by anyone and especially by AI.

Your child, your call.

I am with you OP, don't need to know the reasons though can think of many.

In the days when film was the only photographic medium, people seemed much more selective.

I'd generally expect a summer club to provide parents with pictures and videos of what their kids have been up to through the day. If you don't want your child included in that then yes, they are occasionally going to have to sit out.

Did they make it clear what the filming is for? I'd be a hard no for socials but I do like pictures for updates for parents.